Thursday, December 30, 2004


Spring chick.

You love the feeling of renewal and energy that the first signs of spring give you. After hiding away all winter, you have endless energy to start new projects and achieve new goals.

To keep that feeling all year round, take a class each season. Wind is your strength, so when you need motivation, do something that includes that: learn to sail, fly a kite, or vacation by the water. Take a class that stimulates your mind and keeps you interested all year round: Try pottery for fall, knitting in the winter, and a photography class in the summer. In the middle of winter, paint your bathroom yellow, and brighten up your den by making brightly coloured throw cushions, or tying your curtains back with satin ribbons.

What's your Season

Sunday, December 26, 2004


Today has been a mostly good day! Yeah I had to go to work, but I had a good laugh with Sarah Campbell reminding her of all the mad things that happened on Friday night when a load of us went out and got sloshed! I spent the day wandering about checking lists and sticking about 50,000 "Half Price" stickers onto books.

The last two weeks were absolutely crazy! I meant to post in here last week about all the lovely people who came in to see me at work, and about my new sofas and gorgeous Welsh Dresser and the kids being back at work and sending out presents to all sorts of people (and the fact that my sister's book was £9.09 but the shipping was £23.50! - Bloody Amazon!) and and and.....


I got some beautiful cards from some beautiful people, especially the two I had from Corey and Brianne which were from the same set! I bought stuff from Argos and duplicated an order when they neglected to send me a confirmation email (so I have about £150 due back from them soon). I spent £413 at the Compton Hospice shop so I have gorgeous furniture and donated to a fabulous cause all in one go!

I bought lots and lots of books from work, and Phoenix set up my library bookshelves for me so I now have places to put them too!

I spent a fabulous evening out with some very very good friends enjoying some good drinks, scaring my work colleagues, playing Cliff Richard in the Gifford (hey, they had it as a choice on the jukebox!) and eating rather nice curry.

I spent a crazy evening with my workmates drinking far too much and eating "kebab meat with extra mint sauce and mayonaise please" ala Sarah Campbell.

I opened some beautiful gifts from beautiful people and spent some time with gorgeous kittens and my fabulous man.

Tomorrow I have a weekly discussion to write, parents and in-laws to entertain, Phoenix's cooking to organise (turkey, beef, Yorkshire puds, roast potatoes and parsnips - good job I bought him Delia Smith for Christmas) and some nice wine to drink.

So two days off beckon, then it's work, day off, work and three days off!

Open house here on New Year's Day afternoon btw. Come and sit on the new sofas and snuggle with the kittens. You know you want to.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

I think I have shoppers remorse.

My inheritance cheque still hasn't cleared yet (it's so depressing seeing a 5 figure sum as the account balance and then being told the available balance is fuck all), but my lovely, lovely mother transferred me £1500 to start me off with until it clears (and she gets that back as soon as it does).

The thing is....I've spent that £1500 already.

I know I haven't really, as some of it I took out in cash and is currently distributed between Phoenixs pocket, my purse and the "Wedding Fund" pot (£5.99 from Great Expectations - gorgeous). But since my available account balance is down to about £50 it feels that way.

I've been working out where it all went, and don't actually feel that bad as I wouldn't say any of it has been wasted.

Yeah so I've spent £300 on books at work (yes, that's AFTER discount), but three bags of those were gifts for people, and there are no longer any books at work that I want anymore.
The £100 at HMV was again, 90% gifts and the £320 at Argos this morning was bookcases and ladders and cat stuff and plates and cutlery and a desk.

Writing it down like this has definately made me feel less guilty, I keep reminding myself that I could have blown £300 on make-up or clothes (I will be buying clothes, but nice ones for work rather than sparkly scraps of fabric) or even one pair of Manolo Blahniks.

I have to remember that although most of the money will be wiped out on our debts, we will be £300 a month better off, as we won't have to pay that out to card people.

Plus, I'm still aware that I'd swap all this stuff to see again the look in the eyes of Steve the Big Issue seller when I handed him that £20 yesterday. As long as I can remember that, I'm not such a terrible person as I think I am.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Emily and her pink cast!

Emily, a friend, and some Mooses!

Heavenly kittens

They got me up and going today when I woke up in a blue mood. Didn't feel like I couldn't get up and carry on, more that I couldn't be bothered. But they got me up and about and now they are sleeping on me and making cute sounds in their sleep.

Have had four or five people visit me at work this week, A couple of them I was glad to see and want to see more of them despite everything, a couple were fabulous visits from fabulous people, and one I just don't think I'm bothered about too much anymore. Our friendship has just died a death I guess, we were good friends once but then they just stopped putting any effort into the friendship, I was calling and saying do you wanna do this and that and never getting anything back. Just sad when things dribble out like that I guess.

The moot was groovy last night, good food, good people, and thanks to Bizkitts mobile phone we had some good music too!

Mum's emailed me a pixture of millions of sheep and Emily's sent me pics of her mates (and her pink cast), and I spoke to dad at the weekend so I know my family are doing well too. Now I just have to find something useful for my dad for christmas!

Work calls, off to deal with busy things!

Saturday, December 04, 2004


I did some browsing through internet shops earlier, looking for sheepskin rugs and nice shoes.

I found the most beautiful pair of DMs I've ever seen! Beautiful boots!

The only small snag is that they have no size eights left, and despite searching on Google for another half hour, the only other sites I could find them on all linked back to the Cloggs site. :( :( :(

I'm going to pop to the local stockist for DMs and try on a pair of 7's to see if they'll do, as Phoenix says that they're large sizes. Cloggs do have the Rose coloured ones in an 8, but my heart has been stolen by those emerald ones....

I shall keep on searching....

Blimey! A Saturday off!

I've been watching Soccer AM and chilling so far today. Coded some new reviews from the Grove, looked at stuff on eBay and opened my Advent Calendar on NeoPets.

Today I'm planning to do some "crisis cleaning". Well, that's what FlyLady calls it. Basically it means doing 15 minutes cleaning in the kitchen, then 15 minutes in the bathroom, then 15 minutes in the living room. Then I shall relax for 15 minutes before starting the cycle again. I figure it will start to make a dent on things before the holidays. One of the problems is that although I'd love to be able to clear off the table in the living room, the stuff on it needs to be kept but has nowhere else to go.

Last night we spent a few minutes daydreaming about where we can put the new sofa and bookshelves. It won't work for my birthday as there won't be quite enough seats, but on a day to day basis it'll be groovy.

Also been doing lots of daydreaming about shopping recently, working out what to get folks as pressies. Plus the fact that we need to get a table and eight chairs, plus a sofa...and will probably only have about two weeks to get them in. The plan at he moment is that we hire a van and then drive to various shops in search of stuff. However I don't have lots of time off to do this in so it may get squished into either the 19th or the 22nd.

But I discovered that the posh chocolate people do late deliveries so we can have posh crackers and posh hot chocolate too!

Right, I'm going to make a list of presents for people (so that I have it all written down and I forget nothing) and then start doing some cleaning.

Hmmm....I wonder what extra goodies I can find here for a young lady with her arm in a cast....

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Strange correlations

I'm currently watching Billy Connolly's Tour of New Zealand, partly cos my mother is over there at the moment. It showed the map at the beginning of where he was going and showed a town called Dunedin.....which is the name of a hill in one of the Merrily Watkins books. Things from those books have been turning up all over the place, need to track down the others.

Only a couple of weeks now til all the kids come back to work. I'll be seeing Katie W and Matt on the 13th and Kate J on the 19th. Poor Matt though...his first day back he's doing a 12.30-9 shift with Campbell, RichardGuard and me (plus Maggie grumbling away upstairs, which is a good thing as it means I'll be downstairs). Talk about baptism of fire! He'll be showing off his stomach all evening!

Bod had put me down to work late on the 21st but I've managed to swop it with RichieFingers. I've got the 22nd off to recover from the wild night out before. I've actually got bits of time off all over the place because of me being difficult.

Lets see...

13th = 12.30-9; 14th = 12.30-9; 15th = 9.30-6;
16th = 12.30-9; 17th = 12.30-9; 18th = Day Off!;
19th = 10-4.30; 20th = 8-4.30; 21st = 9.30-6;
22nd = Day Off!; 23rd = 12.30-9; 24th = 8-5;
25th = Day Off!; 26th = 10.30-4.30; 27th = Day Off!;
28th = Day Off!; 29th = 9-5.30; 30th = Day Off!;
31st = 9-5.30; 1st = Day Off!; 2nd = Day Off!.

...and then it's back to normal!

Friday, November 26, 2004

Valley becomes fair trade zone

This is also the valley that features in the books The Grey King and Silver on the Tree by Susan Cooper.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Films I Love

Practical Magic
French Kiss
While You Were Sleeping
Return To Me
Sleepless in Seattle
You've Got Mail
An Affair To Remember
Jack and Sarah
The Fifth Element
Ocean's Eleven
Con Air
Armageddon (although the beginning makes me cry soooo much)
The Mummy
X-Men (both)
Lilo and Stitch
Sleepy Hollow
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe
Almost Famous
A Knights Tale
The Mod Squad
Romeo and Juilet
The Importance of Being Earnest

There's probably loads more, but I'm too sleepy to remember any names! (The kittens are both asleep on me and I think it's catching)

A lot of the films I like were ones I decided to watch when I knew who was in them. I actively seek out films with Claire Dames, Meg Ryan and Sandra Bullock in, I just think that they're so beuatiful. To a lesser extent I seek out films which star Drew Barrymore, Anna Paquin, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Hugh Jackman and Liv Tyler.

*sob* *sob* *sniffle*

The other day I couldn't remember the name of the film that Meg Ryan cries over in Sleepless in Seattle. So I watched that, cried lots, and remembered the other film was called An Affair to Remember.

Then today I was skipping through the movie channels to see what was on today, and saw it was on at midday.

I've just finished watching it and crying lots. What a wonderful film! I know I'm a sappy wench but I just love films like that. I'm going to have to srr if it's available on DVD and request it for a pressie.

In fact, after I've finished painting the mirror so I can add glitter later, I shall come back online and make a list of my favourite movies.

PS: Happy Thanksgiving to all y'all American folks.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

You're Brigitte Bardot!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, November 22, 2004

Sweet, sweet Campbell.

Campbell was oh so blonde today!

I gave her a Fishermen's Friend sweet and she put it in her mouth and then asked:

Has it got real fish in it?

Even better than the time she asked for A4 lined paper with lines on!

Work was hectic at times and dead slow at others. Spent most of lunchtime searching the shops for glitter, but everywhere just seems to sell glitter pens now, much cleaner but much less fun and no use at all for what I need it for!

I've spent this evening emailing various people who had emailed me regarding a motorbike I was selling on eBay...well a motorbike the hacker had listed. EBay have reinstated my account and I have passed on the guys ISP and PayPal details to them too, so he should get what he deserves from them.

Phoenix is having great fun with his new camera phone, taking lots of pictures of the mad kitties. I bought him some credit today so as soon as he learns to work the phone properly I shall post some more pictures.

I bought some decorations today and felt quite festive. The only problem is that this means that the customers have already developed the seasonal spirit of being ruder than ever. It ties in to the whole do-as-you-would-be-done-by thing I guess, if we weren't trying damn hard to find the book for you then yes sure be rude. But when we're searching again and again with the wonderful information we've been given "It's a new book, something about a wedding" then being rude is a tad out of order.

Manners have been on my mind a lot recently. I've been puzzled for a while as to whether I expect too much from people, not just at work from the people who talk on their phones while being served, but with the people that I associate with outside work. Then there's the emails that I've been getting telling me I'm selfish and rude and stupid I've then been wondering if I actually have any manners.

Well if I have few manners then all I can say is that they are the kind of manners that expect people to respect my point of view; the kind that respects others points of view; the kind that will not put up with attacks on my friends, whether they be verbally or physically; the kind that expects people to say please and thank-you; and the kind that knows that true friendship is beyond price and they are the ones to be cherished above all.

Time for a bath and a read of "Hat Full of Sky", now that's a book about witchin'!

Sunday, November 21, 2004



However I now have to deal with the 500 odd emails from eBay that are in my inbox....presumably the reason the person pinched it was for using it with eBay.


Thursday, November 18, 2004


So the twat who has hacked my email account changed all my profile information as according to MSN none of the information I gave them matches the profile. Because it doesn't match they will answer no more questions about this account and can only suggest I open a new one.

So I have.

I had had that account for over 8 years you know. I opened it on the 8th October 1996 while waiting at the school to help out at an open evening.

I have no-ones email addresses saved elsewhere so anyone who needs me to know their email will have to email me again at my new address.

Whoever this person is (and I wonder if it's the same person that's been emailing me shit for months) I know that this will come back on you three times over...wanker.


Fair Trade Footballs!!!!

New Balls for 'God's Squad'

Fair Trade Footballs - Supplier

Ups and Downs

I'm having quite a good day off so far. The kittens are playing tag up and down the stairs and I've just finished watching The Importance of Being Ernest, which was much funnier than I expected (and I knew it would be quite funny).

The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily, that is what fiction means.

On the other hand I still can't get into Hotmail. Not an internet problem this time, but apparently my password which worked on Tuesday night, was wrong my Wednesday morning. This is rather annoying as you can guess. The reset password thing isn't working either so I'm a little worried that someone has knobbled my account.....

Use the one if you want to contact me for the moment, but I can't email anyone as all my addresses are saved in Hotmail (strange that...)

I also got my Permanent Rose proof yesterday! *runs around screaming with joy* RichieFingers was lovely and only teased me with it for a minute or so before handing it over. I read it yesterday on my breaks and then read it again this morning. Very, very, very good book. Made me cry in places (but good books always do). I will attempt to put reviews for all three of the Casson books on my book blog today.

Mum is flying off on holiday today, her flight to LA leaves at 14.30, she gets to LA at 17.45 (LA time obviously) and then has a two hour wait for her flight to Auckland. She will then skip neatly across the International Date LIne and arrive there at 5.30am (Auckland time) on Saturday. She does get her day back on the way back btw (arriving in LA 11 hours before she leaves Auckland, love that time difference!). It'll also be easier for her to ring Emily as the time difference will only really be 4 hours (20 really) she'll just have to delete a day! I hope she does have a totally lovely time, I'm a little jealous but I have plenty of time to go a-travelling later, when the kittens are all grown up (and before we start on babies).

I love the names of the places she will be visiting.... Ngaruawahia, Whakarewarewa, Wairakei, Kaikoura, Omaarama.... I'll have to have a look on a map at work to see where they all are.

The other traveller is also doing well. Her "hot pink" cast is waterproof so she can still wash (a good thing) and Bobo the Bonsai Potato is doing well in his choice spot behind the sofa. In case anyone reading this also reads her blog, she has been writing loooooong posts, they just haven't sent properly but she knows how to fix the problem.

Off to do some washing and write some reviews now. See ya later!

Friday, November 12, 2004

Evening thoughts

I've been trying to write my comments on FtE's weekly discussion for a week now, but can't seem to make the seven or eight paragraphs I have fit in any coherent way. I know what I want to say and the points I want to agree with, I just can't make it flow. Probably a good job I haven't posted about it as just mentioning I planned to meant I got 5-6 abusive emails. BTW nasty anonymous email sender, if you really want the coach I'm traveling to Glastonbury on to crash so I can die a horrible fiery death....don't forget there'll be other people on there will you? Sad bugger.

I finally picked up the second Merrily Watkins book from the library on Wednesday. I'd had to wait for ages to put a reservation on it and it finally came through! Very good book, as was number three in the series. I'm now 20 pages into book four and wishing I'd put reservations in on 5 and 6 already.

We gave the kittens another bath tonight, they were very unimpressed. Foley gave himself a half bath yesterday when he decided to dive into my bath last night. He got a fright and I got several new scratches on my legs. I never realised that having kittens would lead to my legs looking like I'd walked through a bramble patch!

Seriously looking forward to tomorrows trip. I get to spend some time with all my friends for the first time in ages - including Pami who will be in Glastonbury tomorrow too; visit a totally wonderful place, and do some shopping too! Plus, if I get the chance, I want to sit in that window seat at the George and Pilgrim again. When Georgia sat in it she said she felt drained, but at the time I just felt really really grounded and safe. I want to know if this is because it was draining me, but since I had so much excess energy I didn't want and couldn't shed it was helping me, or if it makes me feel that safe again for other reasons. The only thing that worries me is leaving the kittens alone for so long, but plan to fuss them extra on Sunday to make up.

Ohhh...time for bed!

R.I.P. John Peel

If I'd been able to get there I would have gone today.

Thousands mourn Peel at funeral

Love you John, thanks for the music.


I just opened an email from Pixie:

"This article made me think of you."

Tales of a book-monkey

I would like to say that I am very lucky in the fact that I work with very lovely people, who are not at all like anyone in this article, and that I have never openly told a customer that their choice of books is "probably rubbish". Under my breath their face no...well not yet anyway!

Thank you for that smile Pixie!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Today's Horoscope

The pursuit of business matters having to do with the creative arts in some way could take up a lot of your time today, KATE. You might work on a grant proposal, consult with colleagues, or actually buckle down and do some creative work. Others will definitely be involved in some way, and you might spend a lot of time on the phone. Be prepared for a busy day and choose carefully how you want to spend it!

Gosh! and there was me expecting a nice relaxing day considering that it's:

a) our first late night opening today, so I don't start work til 12.30 as I finish at 9.
b) changeover to the main christmas campaign.

So I had been planning to spend my evening putting up posters, reorganising display shelving and restacking tables (upstairs mainly so that it looks as good as downstairs - and if Maggie bitches about it tomorrow I may have to kill her!) Good job the astrologers agree or I'd have ended up in an awful muddle!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Highs and Lows

The last few days have been rather up and down.

I finally kicked my lurgy, helped by Matt's cure-all... KFC Popcorn chicken! I had some for lunch on Monday after someone brought some into the shop and I remembered Matt telling me to go eat some the Sunday when all I could do was cry over Mike. I shall bear this in mind next time I get ill, I'll just toddle off to KFC and stuff myself with chicken strips.

I was woken at 4.49am this morning by a text message from my sister...

ok so firstly iv hurt my hand so its in a cast. And accordin to a canadian published TP Theres a book called last hero before night watch?! X can imagine my reaction! But I phoned mum and found out what Emily had done (see her blog for further info) and decided to stop worrying so much. Plus, she's already read Last Hero!

Today I spotted an email address to request a proof copy of Permanent Rose, so I got very bouncy and excited! I got even more excited when Campbell said we'd had a proof copy and it was in Bod's office. However, I later discovered that it had gone *wails in agony* so had to wait and email them anyway.

I picked up Mab's Pink Floyd book and the calendar and diary for Juell today, but didn't have enough cash to get the ones for Jennie and Jamie yet, but I'll grab them for them next week.

I also found a fabulous Scottish surprise for Mab...but I'm not going to put what it is on here until I've given it to her!!!

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Lazy weekend

It's been a pretty good weekend really, despite feeling like crap for most of it.

I've done lots of sewing, played lots on Neopets, burnt my gorgeous new candles and consoled the kittens on the fact that they have been renamed "the shitweasels". Foley is also now "Daddy's Little Retard", due to the fact he spent about 10 minutes this morning walking about with his tongue sticking out (he'd been washing himself and forgot to put it back in!).

We also had a WPS committee meeting this evening (with Jennie on conference call) so that we could work on the constitution. It went pretty well really, we stayed on track and got it mostly sorted!

I'm off to do more cross-stitch, work on my fantasy publishing house for the work competition and to read FtE's weekly discussion on Tolerance and Respect.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Pinched from Anna's Journal

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal...along with these instructions

"Most of them have been called up."

A Little Love Song - Michelle Magorian


Just popped on to the BBC News site and heard about the rail crash that's just happened.

Also read about Fred Dibnah. That's my third one then following John Peel and Princess Alice.

Sending hugs all over he place tonight as things seem to be tough for lots of people at the moment.

At Last!

I've had a couple of parcels waiting at the post office for me for a few weeks now. I've been phoning to get them delivered on my days off but they've never turned up. I can't go and get them as the sorting office is in a rather dodgy area and Phoenix won't let me walk down there (even with him), the fact there's been 4 muggings and a rape there in those three weeks probably has a lot to do with it.

But this morning I phoned up the sorting office as soon as they were open (6.30 am - as I wasn't asleep) and sweet talked a guy into trying to get them delivered today. He said he'd try and I wasn't expecting them at all. But the doorbell just rang and I slumped to the door in my pink pjs and with a runny nose and the cutest postman in the world handed me my parcels!!!!!

So I have a box of very posh chocolates and a mysterious box from someone named Brianne (I wonder who she is) to keep me occupied today!!!!!!

(((((((((hugs wonderful wonderful Brianne)))))))))

*scampers off to find tissues, Lemsip and scissors*


The lurgy finally got the better of me....

I've been doing my best to fight it off but running out of Lemsip last night meant it got a toehold on me at last. I've spent most of the day feeling like shite and throwing up lots. Bright moments in the day were when I discovered that Boots have all their own brand cold/flu stuff at 99p (rather than £3.49 for the Lemsip equivalent) and when the signed copies of the new Pink Floyd book came in so I could reserve one for Mab. (BTW, the person on Amazon who says that all the other members read and okayed the book is fibbing. Mason himself says he didn't speak to Syd Barrett as "he has a new life now".) The pictures in it are totally fab too!

I also found a few new books that will be added to my bookshelves in February...

Permanent Rose
Every Boy's Got One
Stravaganza - City of Flowers

With any luck those will keep me going until the next lot of Pratchett appears in May....

I'm staying up with the kittens tonight as I'm way too grotty to sleep properly. So I shall spend some time browsing sites I haven't been to for ages, watch some cheesy middle-of-the-night-TV, and have my hair and sleeve chewed by the cutest kittens in the universe.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Moving on up?

I found out today that I will be working upstairs over the christmas season...

This is a good thing because it shows that my stock knowledge is recognised, and Bod said that she wants me to drive the merchandising and retail standards upstairs.

But it means working with Maggie...which will be interesting. She's not the not postive person in the world, in fact anything you say is greeted with a negative comment. I said to Bod that I'm determined to make her say at least one positive thing a day!

I'll seriously miss working downstairs. It gets much more hectic down there but we all work together and things just flow. Whereas upstairs means coping with the fact that Maggie thinks that downstairs gets all the priority and no-one cares about upstairs. Well, when it comes down to it, cariing about upstairs isn't something she seems to do and she works there, so why should someone trying to sort the downstairs out cope with her too.

But I'm going to stay positive and basically kick some ass. I'm going to increase sales by just making the displays look better and then when Maggie complains (as she oh so will) I can back up my reasoning with stock figures.

Plus, I managed my first christmas meeting without getting pissed tonight...although I did have a swift glass of wine when Maggie started whinging about customer orders.

Right then, think I shall head off and try some meditating breathing. I know it will come in handy in the future!

Monday, November 01, 2004

Soggy kittens

I had a holiday day today! I'd taken a few days off so I could go home and see Emily for her birthday, and then she went to Canada last week so I've spent the time at home instead.

So I had a nice long lie in, then came and played on the computer. Phoenix gave the kittens a bath and then we cuddled and stroked them dry and happy again.

I also did some of my new cross-stitch Frederick the Literate while watching Missing and the end of Ghost Ship (as I couldn't watch the whole thing last night as I need to watch scary films in daylight).

Last nights ritual went really well, I had such a great feeling of a weight being lifted as the notes burnt away...

...but discovering 5 nasty emails this morning shows that somebody obviously chose not to use Samhain as a time of new beginnings. Look person, whoever you are. GET OVER IT AND GET A LIFE! Why don't you try writing all your poisonous crap down on paper and burning it away? Although I guess that closure isn't really your aim, more trying to piss me off. I know that writing about your emails is going to prompt people to send me more rude comments, plus give you the gratification of acknowledgement, but I just needed a way to tell you that it ain't working. (and before people ask why I don't just email back...they're hidden email addresses....).

Ah, that subject is boring!

Tomorrow I have another lazyish day planned. Play with kittens, play on internet, go shopping with Jamie and possibly to cinema too, and then it's the moot tomorrow night too! Lazy day my foot!

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Last night was quiet but fun.

Jennie couldn't make it as she was in a bit of pain from a small operation she'd had, and so Mandy couldn't get to us either. We missed you guys!

So it was just Andy and Carola, Bizkitt and Juell, Jason and Jamie, and then Robbie turned up at 1.30am. Juell came in a sari, Andry dressed as an elf, and Bizkitt wore surgical scrubs proclaiming him "Property of New Bedlam Asylum" and carrying his brain in a jar.

Bizkitt also managed to scare some poor kids who'd come to Trick or Treat. When he opened the door and they said "Trick or Treat?", he just said "No" and shut the door again. I had to call the poor kids back and give them some gummy skeletons.

We all just had strange conversations and drank nice alcohol really. Robbie turned up just as we were all getting sleepy, ate some rose pot pourri (while telling me it was the tastiest thing on the table) and then wandered off again into the night. Strange boy....

I'm looking forwards to the ritual tonight. Jennie and Mandy can't make it :( and Bex won't be here tonight either so it'll just be a few of us. But it will be a very nice way to draw a line under the old year, and start looking forward to the new one and all the things we want to do in it.

Friday, October 29, 2004

You represent... hope.
You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

"So, what have you been doing in the last few weeks then?"

A question that's been asked by a few different people!

It's been quite a nice break really, not waking up every morning thinking "What nasty emails will be in my inbox today?", but instead chilling out and playing with my kittens. I've slept so much better and now that I'm back online I have the confidence in myself to just laugh at the emails and feel sorry for the writer(s).

I've been watching various new TV series, Stargate, Stargate Atlantis, Who Do You Think You Are?, Hex, Grand Designs Abroad and Battlestar Galactica. I've been having random conversations about cheese with my other half and I've spent quite a bit of time with a kitten (Foley) draped around my neck, sucking my hair and purring, as he is right now in fact. (Esme prefers the tatty cuff of my old blue jumper). I've also developed thousands of tiny scratchmarks on my feet and legs from where the kittens sleep under the blanket I drape over my legs.

I've been doing lots and lots of cross-stitch while I watch TV, and finally managed to finish my main project. Now I'm working on a couple of small designs to put in key rings. It's easier to do a design of my own rather than a kit chart at the moment, as I don't need to look at the chart half as much which is better when cping with a lapful of sleepy kittens too.

Works been pretty good, done quite a few upstairs shifts which I'm still not that keen on. I just like knowing where I'm going to be for the day and bouncing between floors can get quite tiring - it's the switch between stupid people who can't see a book that's right in front of them, and stupid people who ask you if English is your first language when you don't understand that "proect" is apparently the correct way to say "project". Really, she kept saying proect and I thought it was some obsure computer programme so asked her to spell it. She spelt out p-r-o-j-e-c-t and then looked at me like I was dirt and said "I did think that English seemed to be your first language." My response: "Oh, it is. I've just always been taught to pronounce words according to the BBC's standard of English."

Ok, have to go get ready for work now. I'm so looking forward to the four days off I have coming up. Saturday night is the party, Sunday the ritual, Monday we pop to the vets and Tuesday is the moot and attempting to phone my sweet sibling in Canada to wish her Happy Birthday.

Now I just have to prise this kitten off my neck.........

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Found this link in my email... thought I'd do the quiz!

You are Prue

Which Charmed witch are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Blimey it's dusty in here!

Sorry I haven't been around for so long folks, our computer has been up the spout!

We eventually had to reformat the hard drive, BT Yahoo internet won't work (so I'm on an AOL free trial) and I cannot access my Hotmail account. So any email that's been sent to me in the last two weeks, I haven't read it and can't get at it at the moment, email me at chocolateonskates@ instead ok? My mother is being lovely and lcearing out Hotmail junk for me so the account shouldn't implode or anything though.

My sister went to Canada yesterday, taking only three books with her! Ok, so they were Lord of the Rings, Gormenghast and the Complete Works of Shakespeare so they're weren't exactly LITTLE books!

We moved our computer down to the living room (in case it was the phone socket) and I currently have a mad kitten on my lap. Anything you want to say Esme? hjhhkdfgnmbfgjdf,mbvjkxc,cvnbcvhjfghfbvvcbnvcbnvbbbbbbbbnb bnmvcmnb

Ok then....

I'm so looking forward to our Halloween party on Saturday night, it should be groovy! I have most of the stuff I need for my costume, and ust have to get sparkly eyeshadow for me and black eyeshadow for Phoenix and then we should be done!

Gotta go hang the washing out now...oh yeah! We got a shiny new washing machine!

*hugs* for Morganna, who I know has been having a tough time as I just read your blog.

*hugs* for Kass, who sent me the sweetest letter in the world! I promise to stay positive!

*hugs* for Corey, for just being lovely!

In fact, *hugs* for pretty much everyone!

*dashes off to hang out washing and to hug gorgeous man!*

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

There I am just peacefully reading the BBC news....

...when all of a sudden I come across my old headteacher!

Baccalaureate schools 'to treble'

It was almost inevitable that he'd be mentioned on there somewhere, but I didn't know he was the chairman now!

I never did the IB at school, having to do the English and a language really put me off.* Emily did though, and that extended essay that he talks about got her an extra point as hers was so good!

Oooohhh.....there's a link to the school site on there too.

BTW, the picture at the top of the BBC article isn't one taken at the Anglo. The giveaway is the girl in the white shirt, as you'll see from the school site, the Anglo uniform involves yellow shirts....making Anglo pupils very easy to spot.

*You have to do Native Language (English usually), Foreign Language, Maths, a Science subject, a Humanities subject (History, Geography, RE) and then another choice of your own (that fits in with the timetable). Timetabling in 6th form was always geared around the IB students. Three are taken at Higher, three at lower, and then you have your Extended Essay to do....

Monday, October 04, 2004

Yahoo messages from Ebony.

Ebony : Please apologise to witchgrove for me as I'm no longer a member. I love them all dearly and will miss them all but I blew it. I landed up in hospital last wed night after taking the overdose in the hope they would help with housing us. It didn't work!! They put it down to my diabetes being unstable. I was accused of just relying on spells and not going out to find a home for us but Kate, I have been everywhere. Neither the council nor the housing associations will house us. The letting agents have let us down twice because the owners of the houses we've looked at have decided to sell rather than rent. This has cost us money we don't have and has taken 3 weeks out of the time we had to find a home. We now have 6 days left before the bailiffs come in.

Ebony : I took the overdose in an attempt for someone to help us get a home but it didn't work. I did not take enough to kill myself. But I put it over badly to Witchgrove and for that I'll never forgive myself. Please tell them I love them all and I am sooooooo sorry.

BookshopKate: They're not really talking to me at the moment either. I made the mistake of writing my feelings in my blog and copped a lot of shit for it. But I shall post this in my blog for you, and email it to Mab to ask her to put it on there if she feels it's appropriate. Love you lots and lots.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Busy, busy, busy...

Work today was rather hectic! I spent most of the day nipping between floors depending on where the queues were longest. Sold lots of Pratchett books, and told lots of people that the IEE On-Site Guide is "currently reprinting but we're expecting stock in the next couple of weeks".

This evening I've been playing on Neopets and have emailed the picture of my wedding dress to Ashley and my address to Brianne, also had the new DiscWorld email waiting in my inbox for me.

Right then, I'm off to do some cross-stitching (which won't be finished in time as I will only work on in when in a good mood, so it's very behind), eat some dinner (as I couldn't last night), play with the kittens and snuggle with my rather lovely man.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Right then...

Cerr, Georgia, Matt you all have emails heading your way. I will possibly post relevant bits on here too so that others can read them.

Aine Faye: My original blog entry about Glastonbury will be in the archives on here somewhere. Please note the time that it was posted...BEFORE I knew about Mike's accident.

Corey; *hugs*

Thank you for the compliments on the kittens.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Foley and Esme Posted by Hello
Snoozing Posted by Hello
Snozzing Kitties Posted by Hello

Fed up

Fed up with the Grove at the moment.

I stayed on there after the Glastonbury thing because there are people on there that I adore. I put up with emails from Mods telling me not to be negative onlist (when I wasn't) and then having my replies to them ignored. I put up with getting nasty emails from people who are members of the Grove, because even if I'd complained no-one would have done fuck-all.

The list is all scratchy and wrong at the moment. I'm the only one left of the group from Glastonbury, the others have all stopped reading or been pushed off...I'm just too bloody minded to let them do this to me.

So I shall stay and read the bits that interest me, the time when I would read all messages is now gone. I just feel that at the moment I'm not getting the support I need from the place....this whole "tough love" thing is just annoying me too much. Tough love should be an offlist thing, and veiled remarks about "past negativity" should be responded too with the emails I got asking me to keep that stuff off-Grove - as I did.

There's only so many times I can be told that I should have avoided the person that was pissing me off - when I did avoid them and that's what started the problem.

That I should just block them, well to be honest I knew bugger-all about blocking energy before then, and when I tried to block at first I got more swamped by the energy that was being sent. So my blocking skills have improved 500% and I' just glad my Jamie could help me block the nightmares.

Now I don't have kids to go play with and receive love from, but I have my kittens and my Phoenix. So I shall go play, and forget them and their sideways snide remarks.

Todays Horoscope

A group with which you're affiliated, KATE, might be all inflamed by supposed events and issues that could well prove to be nothing more than rumor or gossip. If a discussion about it seems to be turning into an old-fashioned brouhaha, don't be afraid to stand up and suggest that someone be assigned to check out the facts. All is not as it seems, and it's useless getting all excited over nothing.


Well I know something happened on the Grove last night, now it's off to find out what and to see if I really care....

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Cute balls of fluff have taken over my life.

We got our kittens yesterday!

The lady arrived with a cardboard box containing 5 kittens and we were invited to take our pick. She tried to check what sex they all were and they seemed to all be male so we had five to choose from. At first I liked this almost all black one but it was very very shy and scared and not interacting with any of the other kittens. So we picked one that looks like he has a goatee and another one that kept winking at me.

The lady left and we watched the little things play. First of all they didn't realise the other one was still there, but then they started playing together, fighting the sheet that hangs over the futon and killing vicious bits of cotton too.

Jamie came round just as we manage to get them to eat and she was laughing at them pushing each other around to get at the food.

We had decided to call them Foley and The Luggage (one wrestling name, one DiscWorld name) and Foley is the kitten with the goatee, absolutely bonkers. Chasing his tail in the middle of the floor and doing somersaults when he turns round too fast. The other kitten is quieter and I started to think that The Luggage wasn't going to be a suitable name. After Jamie left they both fell asleep and it was then that we checked and saw the other kitten was a girl.

So I was thinking of female DiscWorld names, like Angua and Tiffany. I quite liked Tiffany as the kitten changes from frantic motion to sitting and thinking, but my sister said it was an Essex name so we've decided on Esmerelda, Esme for short.

Foley has a white face with a black goatee, slightly more white on his shoulders and black front legs. Esme has a white face and white front legs. They both have black patches on their back knees and white tummies.

Last night we decided to sleep downstairs with them and we got into bed after they'd settled into their baskets. But Esme decided she wanted to sleep with us and she came and curled up next to my pillow.

This morning they've had breakfast, used the litter tray, fought the fridge monster, fought each other and Esme washed Phoenix's hand too.

Now I need to go play with my kitties again! (You'll get some photos when we manage to take some!)

Tuesday, September 21, 2004


I like champagne....

I've finally opened the bottle that Cabochon gave us as a housewarming present 6 months ago! In my defence it was only a half bottle and Phoenix doesn't like champagne so I was saving it for a night that I wanted it. Tonight I realised that it's two years today that Phoenix and I moved in together so figured that was a good reason. LOL

Earlier I had my feet soaking in hot water whiile I read a new book, drank champagne and ate hot ciabatta bread spread with butter.....yum!

I like champagne....

Sunday, September 19, 2004

One of those weekends!

This weekend has been hectic but good.

Yesterday I was working upstairs all day and got to hang out with Jen and Kate J. All was going well until Kate J realised that her brain had melted at some point and she'd been doing customer orders wrong all day.

When they collect their books you're supposed to refund the pre-payment and sell the book. She'd been refunding the book and putting the pre-payment through again. After a few minutes of panic I managed to solve it by just doing the refund pre-payment, sell book thing twice; once to cancel out the mistake, and once to make the tills and stock levels right.

The poor girlie felt really terrible so I might have to pick her up a pink & fluffy present's her last day on Saturday before she heads off to uni :(

After the excitements of the day the evening was real quiet, apart from the phoning about trying to find kittens thing! We had a home visit from the Cat Protection League people in the afternoon and they're happy for us to have kittens through them. They phoned later and gave a number for a lady who has 5 six week old kittens that need homes. Couldn't get through last night and when I got through this morning she's on holiday for another week. But I was the first to phone so we should hopefully get two cute black and white balls of fluff soon.

Then today I felt odd. I was wishing we could have gone to Glastonbury with the others but I'm aware that I would have been exhausted. So instead I did some shredding of very old paperwork and cleared out some drawers.

We popped into town this afternoon too. Very unusual for me to want to go out and walk when I don't need to, but I wanted to for the first time in ages.

We went into work to check on Kate J and to say goodbye to sweet Matt who is off to uni in the next couple of days so things will be quiet without him. He was moving half the shop around again and doing a fantastic job.

Then we went to the pound shop and I bought some incense and candles. Wanted to drool over the stationery in WHSmith but Phoenix dragged me off to Tesco for fruit instead.

Then tonight we've watched Carnivale and I popped on to sort out my pay and distribute it between all the companies wanting money from us. There's quite a respectable amount left, but that's because Phoenix will be paying the rent from his wages which is a good job or we'd be on -£100!!!

I shall close tonight with the words to a song that have been drifting through my mind all day, although I'm sure I haven't seen the video or heard the song in any shops. Must be that someone I know has been listening to it lots and it's carried through....


She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

And She will be loved
And She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

She will be loved (repeated)

Please don't try so hard to say good bye.


I love that "Tap on my window, knock on my door, I want to make you feel beautiful." part, makes my soul shine.

G'night sweet people! xxx

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Fabulous Calendar!

We had the new calendars in at work today and I was putting stock out in kids while Sarah C unpacked them.

She came over and said "I'm sorry for showing you this now when we don't get paid until Monday, but it's just perfect for you and I wanted you to see it before they all got pinched."

Ecological Wall Calendar 2005

She's's perfect!

It has four sheets that each cover the period from solstice to equinox. ie the winter one goes from Yule through to Ostara. The sheets have the dates along the bottom and beautiful pictures all the way along them. They show tide heights and periods, the moon cycle, what nature is doing at each point in the year and what stars you can see in the sky.

The back of each sheet then has a more detailed look at what's on the main page, but they're not on the back of themselves if you know what I mean! The detailed stuff for the winter one is on the back of the summer sheet and vice versa, the smae for spring and autumn. This way you can have the main side and the detailed side showing at the same time!

I'm buying this on Monday and will probably be putting it up above my desk (when I get one) so that I can look at it lots. I'll still have my DiscWorld one downstairs though, as the Eco one doesn't have spaces for writing in really, there's enough room to note a birthday maybe, but that's it.

I can't wait to buy it on Monday and bring it home to my house!!!!

BTW, for those Wulfrun people reading this, we only have 5 in stock so I don't know how long they'll last but I can reserve them for you!

Ta me air meisce

Take the quiz: "Which Random Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You? "

Ta me air meisce
Ta me air meisce - 'I am drunk.'You enjoy a drink - or five - now and then. You can usually be found in a pub - it doesn't matter which one, because they all look the same after a few drinks - or hugging the porcelain.

Gosh, THAT was a surprise!

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Been looking at frocks today...

...and my sister told me she adores this one

It's by Romantica of Devon. Emily also likes the one they have on that front page shot, but the neckline is a bit too square for me and the bodice a bit too fussy.

Confetti has it priced at £500-£750 which is more than I intended on spending, but I'm going to add it to my Inheritance list and buy fewer books.

She's also decided that she'll buy herself one and dye it pink.....

Lazy day off...

...well not really!

I've cleaned the bathroom today. Haven't finished yet as I'm waiting for the floor to dry before I can go back in and put the rug back down etc. It's the current FlyLady zone you see, and I thought I might as well see how long it would take. I gave myself 15 minutes and had done most of it in that time, so I added another 15 which was plenty of time in which to clean the bath and sweep the floor (dustpan and brush as I figured that doing it that way would make me more aware of how dirty it had been, plus the vac was upstairs!).

I've also been tatting about on Amazon while I ate my lunch and came across a few nice surprises.

DiscWorld Almanak

Darwin's Watch: Science of DiscWorld III

DiscWorld Calendar

Going Postal

I knew about Going Postal and the Almanac, and was expecting the calendar, but Darwin's Watch is a very pleasant surprise...I just have to be patient until May 5th 2005 now!

Sunday, September 12, 2004

What brand are you?

What Brand Are you?

A new name and £100 million saved!


Your brand will be unique because this denotes:

the customer is always writing

Saturday, September 11, 2004

All I can say is wow. Posted by Hello

Been thinking about the date today...

...and listening to the Crosby & Nash CDs my dad did for me. This one keeps making me cry.

Half Your Angels - Crosby & Nash

Somewhere in heaven
Wings are taking flight
Flying over a worldly weight of hatred
Hanging over a building in the rain

You got to heaven
Blown across the sky
Crying out for the angels to help you
To rise up out of the ashes and the flames

Send me half your angels
We're running out of time
Send me half your angels
I'll send you half of mine
Hope they get there in time

And far below your heaven
Hearts are wondering why
Why would anyone hurt gods children?
How could anyone harm them at all?

Send me half your angels
We're running out of time
Send me half your angels
I'll send you half of mine
Hope they get there in time

And while you're in heaven
Sleeping on the wind
Ask your heart to forgive this evil
Ask your soul to forgive us all

Send me half your angels
We're running out of time
Send me half your angels
I'll send you half of mine
Hope they get there in time

Send me half your angels
We're running out of time
Send me half your angels
I'll send you half of mine
Hope they got there in time

Half your angels

Sunday, September 05, 2004


Milky Way Tonight - Crosby & Nash

I can really see the Milky Way tonight
from the furthest edge of memory out of sight

will the sky begin to fall?
no-one knows at all
no-one knows

I can almost hear the echoes of the past
from the voices of the years gone by so fast
I'm using all my might to try and find the light
in the Milky Way tonight

it seems our hopes and dreams were a million miles away
the worlds not what it seems
and it's changing every, changing every day

it seems our hopes and dreams are a million miles away
the worlds not what it seems
and it's changing every, changing every day

I could swear I heard a whisper on the wind
telling me again what might have been
in the fading firelight
I can see your face so bright

in the Milky Way tonight
in the Milky Way tonight

I can almost see the Milky Way tonight


Michael(Hedges Here) - Crosby & Nash

I saw you there like a fire in the sky
and all I knew of you was gone
except your music that I know will never die
going on and on, going on and on

In my life you were such a shining star
burning bright for all to hear
and in the distance is the sound of your guitar
playing loud and clear, playing loud and clear

Michael, flame on.
Michael, bright eyes.
Michael, shine through.
Michael, goodbye.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Essex Girl

Home is ok. Had a small disagreement with my mother in a restaurant last night but sorted it today. She wound me up and I'd had a couple of drinks so I basically told her that sometimes she's a real bitch.

I saw Pami today!!!! We chatted about her honeymoon and her recent trip to Glastonbury (she went in Froggie's shop and thought it was nice, but claustrophobic as there were five of them in there). I told her about the Carnival and said it would be great if she could come with us and she showed me the date in her diary where a few months back she'd writtten in a date to meet up with me, 13th November, Carnival Saturday!

I'm at Phoenix's parents tonight. They've headed off to bed and so has Ashley, Matt is talking to the cats while he sorts out their dinner. It's great that they have broadband too, the Grove has been so chatty that otherwise I'd have been millions of posts behind instead of completely up-to date!

It's the wedding tomorrow and it promises to be a busy day! We have to leave here quite early so to get back home to take Emily to Chelmsford in search of a replacement phone (as some gits stole hers at the Reading festival). She's going to get me some hair dye and cut my hair for me too!

Ohh, just seen the time, I need to do some sleeping!

Energy being sent to Bris family in Florida and to anyone else that Frances is heading for. xxx

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

The Falcon

The Falcon

The Falcon
You are protected by the spirit of the Falcon; he sees qualities
in you that reflect his own such as your true belief in freedom
and beauty above all else. Your spirit soars above the clouds
and feels at one with nature.
Your quote: "Be who you are: not who they think you are"

What is your Inner Spirit Totem Animal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, August 30, 2004

Full moon riding high in the sky.

We still haven't got another fuse for the lighting so when I came upstairs by torchlight to check my email I saw the floor of the altar room was silver. The moon is full and floating in the sky at the back of the house.

I love the fact that on the nights the moon is at its fullest I can see it from where I type or can sit in its light in the altar room.

It made me think about the way things have changed in one short moonth (yes, moonth is intentional).

A moonth ago I was very secure. In my friendships and in myself. Now I have constant doubts. Was I really the one who was wrong? Did I misread all the signs? Then I read the emails I have and know that others felt the same and came to me independently to tell me of their worries. I've lost a couple of friends, and made some friendships even stronger. They were changes that would have happened in the end anyway I think, but events just happened faster than I ever thought they could.

There's a big thread on the Grove about The Dark Night of the Soul. Very apt for me with everything that's been going on. Things are darker at the moment than they have been for a long time. Six different nightmares last night, all new stories, none I've ever had before or had similar to before. All of which were detailed in the anonymous emails that arrived in my inbox this morning. I know when they're going to be there and after the dream I had about Emily I don't read them if they're there before bedtime.

The emails are sent to me in the form of ecards, sent using my Yahoo address that I never have used. That is, using it as the from address. I knew one day that being so open about myself online would cause problems, I didn't expect nightmares being sent that smash my shields and work past my haematite. So it's sleeping pills (herbal) for me tonight, I'll wake up dopy but better than I did this morning.

Jamie is behind me in the reflection of the window, guarding my back. He's never there as I go to sleep, he respects Phoenix too much for that but I think I'll sort this with both of them by my side.

Past love, present love, future love. Watching my back, guarding my heart.

Weird Weather

The weather seems to be acting up all over the place at the moment.

Recently it's been quite grey and rainy here, which is pretty unusual for August. I think it's been the wettest August ever recorded, while July had the highest temps recorded.

There's another hurricane heading for Florida too, I hope it calms down before it gets there or better still it swings away. There's quite a discussion on the Grove about it. As it's heading straight for *kass's son she understandably wants it to move away, but Wolf wants it over in Texas because "The weather patterns have been screwed up for the last twelve years". Well to me that's just the weather changing over time and being different as the worlds climate changes. Not the weather being screwed up.

I hope that Texas gets some rain (in accordance with the current weather patterns) and that *kass's boy is safe whatever happens.

The weather here is sunny again, after the 20 minute downpour from a clear sky we had this morning, then the sun came out and I swear the kitchen roof (which I can see from the library room window) was dry in 5 minutes.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

You are a Revolutionary Woman!

You are a Revolutionary Woman!
You could care less about the monarchy!
You live for yourself!

You're beautiful and kick-ass! And like a female-warrior. You're resourceful, smart, tough, street-smart. You live life for yourself and not as others dictate and refuse to be branded into a category. You live apart from world and society.

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Carnt Be Trusted - The Bluetones

This song is popping into my head quite a bit at the moment, think it's the first line that does it.

Who is she to say you carn't be trusted?
And come to think of it how does she know?
Her doubt is just her faith in disappointment
She can't be blamed if she decides to go.

Her dignity is what makes her an angel
You know she needs it more than she needs you
It doesn't pay to take these things for granted
Something which you always seem to do
You always seem to do

But she just wants to spend some time with you
Just a minute, or just a moment
Just long enough to throw one clean punch.

Now you've reached the point where she sees through you
Your low-esteem and lack of self-control.
Everything she had she handed to you
And what she didn't give you, you stole.

Sometimes I stop to question it all
Must I look at the stars and live in the dirt?
When all I have to show for my doubt is a blow to the lip
and some blood on my shirt.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

He he he he he


CARRY ON/QUESTIONS by Stephen Stills

One morning I woke up and I knew
You were really gone
A new day, a new way, I knew
I should see it along
Go your way, I'll go mine and
Carry on

The sky is clearing and the night
Has gone out
The sun, he come, the world
is all full of light
Rejoice, rejoice, we have no choice but
To carry on

The fortunes of fables are able
To sing the song
Now witness the quickness with which
We get along
To sing the blues you've got to live the tunes and
Carry on

Carry on
Love is coming
Love is coming to us all

Where are you going now my love?
Where will you be tomorrow?
Will you bring me happiness?
Will you bring me sorrow?
Oh, the questions of a thousand dreams
What you do and what you see
Lover can you talk to me?

Girl when I was on my own
Chasing you down
What was it made you run?
Trying your best just to get around.
The questions of a thousand dreams
What you do and what you see
Lover can you talk to me?

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

My sister and her funky festival wellies. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Load of shit

I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch
Oh the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact

I knew posting my feelings would cause more trouble than it was worth.

I'm depressed and miserable so take peoples advice to post about why I'm depressed and miserable - this causes a small avalanche of anonymous malicious emails to land in my inbox.

I respect that not everyone feels the same as me, so please don't feel the need to email me asking me not to take it out on you just because you have a different opinion. Different opinions make the world go round.

This is a very big issue for me at the moment, one friend is having nightmares, another is heading for anger meltdown over the crap that's been said about them. Someone else is being completely blanked for no fucking reason.

Me, I just had to clean my whole house several times and either can't sleep properly because of nightmares, or have to wear shit loads of haematite to bed which makes me sleep deep but wake up feeling cut-off from everything.

To top it all off I get to see the ghost of my darling Jamie all over the place as he's worried about me. Last time I saw him this much I was drinking more than a bottle of vodka a day and drawing pretty patterns with blades in my arms.

So. Those who disagree with what I feel. Fine, you're entitled, the matter rests here hopefully.

Those who agree, we'll work through this, I promise.

The person who is responsible for the malicious emails (I know you read this, you use quotes) I have one thing to say: Fuck off and get a life.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Iris, by The Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am


...I have been crying lots.

I had work today so when I got there I told Bod I would probably be very quiet and a bit moody and explained why. She was so lovely I teared right up again, then when I got upstairs Matt looked at me, said "Have you got a cold?" then when I shook my head he came straight over and hugged me. Katie was the same, so so kind.

Matt was working upstairs in the morning but I had to promise to call him if a customer gave me hassle and then he'd "come and sort them out". Katie made me stay away from the till so while I tidied sections ruthlessly she served all the customers and came to give me hugs and back rubs in quiet moments.

Then I thought sod the diet and had KFC for lunch, this was under orders from the kids. Then I worked with Matt for the afternoon. He asked me to slow down and give myself a rest but when I said I couldn't he was really sympathetic.

Jamie and Jason picked me up from work, Jamie loved her pink car cushion.

Gotta go and finish Jen's birthday pressie now, plus phone my folks. Just spoke to Emily on messenger and my Aunt Sylv is visiting, but Emily says to call anyway.

She got into the uni she wanted by the way. She'll be going next year, after spending a year in Canada.

Feeling mortal.

I was thinking this morning that it might be a good idea to take off the post preceeding this one. People will have enough going on after WM Mike died this morning to have to deal with all that stuff as well.

But then I thought about what had happened, and the fact that if something happened to me today the stuff would never get said and I would somehow not be being truthful with the universe.

So it stays, and I just hope that I don't regret it.

Love you guys.

Saturday, August 21, 2004


This post has been brewing for a while and I've kept it inside until I just couldn't manage it any more. I've had a couple of people tell me that I need to write this down, not just for me but for them as well. So we shall see.

There's been a big thread on the Grove this week about what to do if someone is psychically attacking you, or if someone sends you bad energy because they think you're attacking them. Lots of interesting stuff has come out of this.

The week Georgia was here a few of us on the trip had a really big shock. We were getting bad vibes and so confided in someone that we all trusted. We expected her to help us somehow, not necessarily to agree with us, but not to dismiss it out of hand which is what at least 4 of the six of us feel that she did.

It started on the Monday when Phoenix and I were talking to Georgia and another visitor arrived. They walked straight past Phoenix to make much of Georgia, which is fair enough as she was the reason they were there. But to completely ignore the person who is letting you stay in their home? And to only say a thank you of sorts a week later? To me that sucks.

So we sat and chatted and I didn't feel comfortable, so went and got my assorted Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young CD's to put on as they always mellow me out. So I tried to relax and mostly succeeded. But for most of the afternoon I just felt like I was in the way, like I was the interloper in their space, instead of them being a guest in my house. Mab came round later and I relaxed then as I mostly felt comfortable. But as soon as Mab went, I felt horrible again. I felt pushed out of MY house. So we made excuses and went up to bed. Didn't get a whole lot of sleep though...Sound really carries in our house and I would have needed earplugs and a bottle of vodka to sleep through that.

The next day was mostly the same, feeling pushed out of my house and unwelcome. Then they went out for a while with Georgia and the house went back to normal after about 30 minutes. So I wandered round with incense and then had a lovely hot bath. I had just come out to talk to Phoenix when I heard them at the front door...And ran back into the bathroom so that I didn't have to feel that shit again.

We went to the moot that evening and I felt weird the whole time. The moot was great though because I wasn't the only one there who felt that way. One person said to me that they really didn't like the way this person kept leering at everyone, and their partner was saying to Phoenix that they really didn't like being in the same room.

We went home fairly late after the moot, but once again we got no sleep. At one point it had been quiet for a while so I thought I'd nip downstairs to the toilet and then try to sleep. On my way back from the toilet I suddenly felt really uncomfortable and ran across the living room to the stairs and pulled the stair door shut behind me. I'd only gone a few steps up when I heard the door to the living room from the hall (and Georgia's room) open. It felt like someone had been there waiting for me to go upstairs again. Got back into bed and cuddled up to Phoenix and we were just starting to drift off when it got all noisy again.

I'd really been looking forward to the camping but Wednesday morning I was so pissed off and tired! When the others got to the house the whole place seemed to brighten right up. On the drive up to the camping I told a friend about it and they were so sympathetic I nearly cried all over them. As the weather brightened my mood lifted. Got pissed off again at the services when they said they were stopping to eat, then we saw them leaving the car park about 5 minutes later - more of the whole "get out of my space, away from my things" energy there.

Setting up the camp was great and then we wandered into town and went to the pub. After a while they joined us and the mood seemed to really drop. Jennie ended up talking to them for a bit, and then we all went off for fish and chips. While we were eating Jennie said that she'd felt really uncomfortable in the pub, and then said it was because she felt that this person was leering right at her, not talking to her face but talking to her chest, and making soo many innuendos.

We did all have a chat about this while sitting on the market cross and decided that the things that were getting to all of us were the ways that this person would made a lewd comment, but then repeat it three or four times straight away. That they didn't seem to get that it was impolite to stare at someone's breasts. That as soon as they turned up they immediately had to know exactly what everyone else was doing.

That evening at the camp was ok, we were all a bit quiet really. I was just so exhausted. I slept straight through that night, the first time I have EVER done that on my first night in a strange place, especially in a tent!

The next morning we went for breakfast at the Blue Note, but had only been there a little while before they turned up. They said they'd gone to the campsite but when no-one was there, had left something in Georgias tent and then come looking for us. Now this was another thing I didn't like, going into someone's tent when they aren't there. Fine if they know you will be there and you have asked, but it seemed very rude. We sat outside the Blue Note and were relaxing quite well until the innuendos started. The same comment several times in quick succession - each time aimed at a different female present, each time not looking at their faces. Jennie then got up and said she needed fresh air...I practically ran after her!

We then went on a nice shopping wander throughout Glastonbury. Went to their shop but were ignored completely in favour of Mab and Georgia. Didn't mind being ignored, better than being leered over! After the shopping we went back to the campsite in dribs and drabs. Ended up being the six of us again and we were all just sitting about chilling out when I got grabbed from behind. They'd come down to the campsite to see where everyone was, but instead of walking straight down (as at least 3 people were sitting so they could see the way people would walk to our tents), they crept along the hedgerow so that they could "surprise" us. If I hadn't been so relaxed when they did it, they would have got a broken nose at least, and as it was Phoenix nearly went for them. When they'd asked for a detailed itinerary of what we were doing that evening (answered with lots of dunnos and maybes) they went away, but the peaceful time had gone.

We went into town to go to the Wells and only just made it. We did all get in in time (just). The person had said that they definitely weren't coming into the wells as they had things to do, but all of a sudden there they were. I ended up moving through the terraces faster than I wanted to. I would get to a place and just be feeling still when they came round the corner. Eventually we all went up into the top meadow and weren't followed. We had such a nice time up there. I just lay back and looked at the sky with Phoenix. Jamie was blowing bubbles and the view of tree and blue blue sky and bubbles was heavenly.

After a while we got curious as to where Georgia had got to. Then Andy C looked through his telescope and she was climbing the Tor already. Apparently they had thought that we'd all gone on ahead without them (which we wouldn't have done without saying where we were going). So we all went up the Tor and sat at the top. Jamie, Jennie, Juell, me, Phoenix and Andy C all sat against the tower and drank some mead and cider. The others were sitting on the edge of the slope. We watched the sunset and chilled out quite a lot. On the way down Juell was saying what she thought rather loudly!

At the bottom things started to go pear-shaped. We'd been invited to the local moot and decided we were going to go along now. They kept telling us there was no point and that no-one would still be there and then set off with Georgia to go to the moot. The person who went with them felt very pushed aside and they kept saying that "you should just go back to the others". We caught up with them at the pub at last. The moot that "will have finished" was still going on, but when Jennie went up she was frozen out. I then went with her but got the same reaction.

Phoenix had been asking for advice on the walk back from the Tor, and was very surprised when he basically got told he was imagining things. He tried to say that others were uncomfortable too, but this was also dismissed. The worst bit for me was when I tried to explain how I felt and was told "they're in a relationship". Fine, no problem, but all the bullshitting and advoidance? The leering? ...Never got an answer to that. The person I'd asked for advice seemed to be settled with the idea that I was being jealous and didn't like sharing my time with Georgia with anyone.

Things got worse at the campsite. We'd left the pub early and then Mab, Aud, and Ian joined us later. We all assumed that Georgia was still with the person, so when Jamie and I went to the loo and saw her there we got a bit freaked.

Very freaked in fact, it was like something out of a bad horror film. You think you see someone walking, but aren't sure. The you see them at the sinks and talk to them. They're right behind you as you leave the block, but when you get back to the tents (the only place they could really go) they've gone. You tell the person who saw them last and they say "you're imagining it". The they deny she's about. Then they say "Oh, she's drunk".

Now if I was in a strange country and walking about drunk in the pitch black, I'd like people to be concerned. But this person wasn't. So we all went to look for Georgia and I admit that I was very upset and very stressed. I'd had very little sleep because of a person, and now the person I really trusted was telling me I was imagining everything.

We found Georgia but before I could speak to her I was waved away, dismissed. I went back to the tents in a blinding rage, grounded myself and then burst into tears.

The next morning I was asked "what the situation is" because things were so tense. I was told that Georgia had walked away from me the night before because she was mad at me. We all tried to say what we felt and were basically told that we'd been drunk and imagining it. I had to walk away here...Couldn't keep my temper.

When I calmed down I had a talk with Georgia. She said she hadn't been drunk, or mad she just needed to release some energy as she was really buzzing. Fine, but why hadn't this just been said the night before? No hassle then, just peace instead of war. I tried to explain exactly what it was that made me uncomfortable to Georgia and she said that it was just this persons way, she had no trouble with it. I said fine. I couldn't work out how to verbalize the fact that this person made us all feel sleazy all the time.

When we got home I cleaned the house, I cleansed the house, I made the house feel like mine again and shut out all the residual energy that was left from them.

Two weeks later one person is only just starting to post again. Two others read a bit but don't want to be in there at the moment. I am there because I have as much right to be there as anyone.

But they posted in the energy blocking thread and wound me right up. They posted that all they send is love and light, and that they hope certain people are reading and learning. Now I NEVER said that this person was attacking me, as far as I can tell they are only sending love. But their love energy feels dirty, sleazy, leery, lechy to me. So please stop sending me love. Actually, you can carry on as it all gets filtered clean and then used for useful things. Hey I'm not going to turn down free energy now!

Well it only took an HOUR to write that lot! I feel soo much better, cleansed right out. I still need to talk to the person who dismissed me, I don't think they have any idea how much this has upset people!

(BTW, I know that most of you will be able to fill in the blanks on names, but I'm happier to leave them as official blanks, the people concerned should know who they are.)

Now I need to go work on a spell to get rid of nightmares for someone who went on that trip. She had her psychic side really battered by this person, possibly unintentional I don't know - I just know she didn't ask for any of the energy that they gave her, and that's damn rude.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

I am so damn proud!

I've just sent out text messages to the weekend kids from work to find out how they did in their A Level exams.

Kate J got AABC and will be going to Southampton.

Katie W got AAB and will be going to Newcastle.

Matt got BCE and will be going to Bournemouth.

I'm so proud of them for all the work they did and the fact that they've all got in to their first choice universities, but I'm really sad that they're going to be leaving us!

Kate J always keeps me smiling, Katie W makes me CDs to keep me happy...and Matt always looks cute and so makes my surroundings much better to look at! LOL.

Still waiting to find out how Phoenix's brother Matt has done this time, will add that to this post when I find out!

In other news, my sister (who did the IB so got her marks about a month ago) has found out why she hasn't heard back from Glamorgan yet....UCAS hadn't sent her results through!!!!

So a little fireball of get-your-butt-moving energy to UCAS would be most appreciated.

I liked this so much I had to put it in here too...

I got this from my cousin Richad the other week and loved it! I then forwarded it to lots of people and forgot about it.

Morganna has just replied to the forward and left it attached at the end and made me smile all over again.

So here it is:

Are you tired of all those sissy, mushy "friendship" poems that always sound
good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of
promises that really speaks to true friendship!

1. When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue, ...I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, ...I'll know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared, ...I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, .....I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused, ...I will use little words to explain.

7. When you are sick, ....stay away from me until you're well again. I
don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, ...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Send this to ten of your closest friends and get depressed because you can
only think of two, and one of them is not speaking to you right now anyway.

Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you
move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.

*eye roll*

I went to bed relatively early last night as part of my new more organised lifestyle *snort*

Then this morning I see that the Grove is full of pond slime and smutty Froggie jokes...I knew I shouldn't have left them alone!

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Today I have been mostly...

...spending my inheritance (which I haven't actually received yet, but that's a minor hitch).

I've been frolicking on Ikea.UK for most of the day. Their new catalogue is online already and although most bits are supposed to be downloadable to save in about 15 mins, they took quite a lot longer on this computer. Must get broadband...

Still I've got them all nicely saved now so that I can go through them with a pen and paper and decide what desk, sofa, bed, shelving, storage boxes, kitchen stuff we need. I might even let Phoenix have a hand in picking things!

I've also been looking at several very posh shopping sites that I got from The Shops by India Knight. Laura bought this the other day but I just copied down all the sites I liked the look of while I was bored upstairs at work one day.

They ain't cheap...but the stuff is lovely and I'm looking for cheaper copies!
Cabbages and Roses
Cath Kidston
Celtic Sheepskin Co. I'm so craving one of their beanbags...
WARNING! Rococo Chocolates
Traditional Wooden Toys (now I just need a small child as an excuse...
Nick and Nora
Puppy-Bedstock I need one of those red bondage cushions...
Melin Tregwynt So I'm never chilly again!

I'm also being an extent!
I need new t-shirts for work so I'll probably pick up a couple from Rosie Nieper, I know I'm going to buy one of the velcro ones, then I can change it to match my mood!

I also moved the altar and all the pictures into the end room today. I'm planning to pick up a few element items to put in the corners of the room. I wanted to put them in the corresponding corners but the door is in the North so will not be suitable for a plant :( Maybe I should just pick up some element candles from here...

Thursday, August 12, 2004


...can be found in my OTHER blog.

A titbit of Pratchett

Obtained from Book Data at work.

Going Postal

Moist von Lipwig was a con artist and a fraud and a man faced with a life choice: be hanged, or put Ankh-Morpork's ailing postal service back on its feet.
It was a tough decision.
But he's got to see that the mail gets through, come rain, hail, sleet, dogs, the Post Office Workers Friendly and Benevolent Society, the evil chairman of the Grand Trunk Semaphore Company, and a midnight killer.
Getting a date with Adora Bell Dearheart would be nice too.
Maybe it'll take a criminal to succeed where honest men have failed, or maybe it's a death sentence either way.
Or perhaps there's a shot at redemption in the mad world of the mail, waiting for a man who's prepared to push the envelope...

Published 1st October 2004.

The DiscWorld Almanac for the Common Year 2005

In this latest accessory to the DiscWorld phenomenon, Terry Pratchett joins forces with Bernard Pearson to produce the definitive Almanac to the Common Year, 2005 being the Year of the Incipient Goat, for the city of Ankh-Morpork and Surrounding Areas & Benefices.
Here you will find an essential guide to all aspects of life, and a sure means of ensuring fertility of crops & livestock, also a boon companion in affairs of the HEART & HEALTH, with notes on Husbandry, Physic, Fairs & Marts, and other such information as will render this Publication a staunch companion to Townsman & Tiller of Soil alike. Including homemade remedies for common ailments, receipes, horoscopes, scientific discoveries, a calendar, strange tales and much much more...
With witty illustrations from Paul Kidby, this is an artistically presented package guaranteed to tickle the funny bone of all Pratchett fans.

Published 1st October 2004.

Roll on October!

Although The Art of the DiscWorld (HB, £14.99) is going to be published on 2nd September...

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Weird Television

I've been watching very random television this week. Mainly it's cos there's nothing on I've been planning to watch so when I go down to cross-stitch I end up watching half a film or lots of Kerrang! music.

Tonight I solved a few tv watching problems when I discovered Noggin. Not Noggin the Nog alas, but other very good tv shows. Tonight I watched Paddington Bear (2 episodes), The Wombles (2 episodes), Portland Bill, The Clangers and Mr Benn. Then I went through and bookmarked them for tomorrow too.

I also discovered various bits of Olympics to bookmark for next week, although I still get pissed off at the fact that they show endless heats of the swimming and only show edited snippets of the show jumping and cross-country (plus about 30 seconds of dressage). More Equestrianism on tv please!

I then bookmarked the wrestling for Sunday, as Bizkitt is coming round to watch Summerslam with Phoenix. I have work so probably will be snoozing away upstairs while they get all manly downstairs. As long as they're reasonably quiet...

I saw about 15 minutes of Broken Arrow before Phoenix came down so I could come online. It looked ok, I may attempt to finish watching it sometime.

I keep trying to press buttons on the screen.....that's a real side-effect from the new touch screen tills at work. They're pretty good except that they're all slightly too low, not a problem now but after a 2 hour stint at christmas it could be a killer. But hopefully I'll have sorted my back out by then.

I was healthy today and had a salad for lunch. *listens to people fainting* ok, so it was a McDonalds salad! There was an advert about the fact that if you buy a salad happy meal you get a pedometer (step measury thingy) with it. So I went in and asked for it only to be told they'd run out. The girl suggested I go back tomorrow so I will, but I won't have another salad. The green stuff was mostly ok but a couple of bits were really bitter so i devoured the crispy chicken bits (which were lovely) and then ate.....a Toffee Crisp McFlurry. Hey, can't be healthy ALL the time right?

I keep looking round this room and working out where I want to move things to. I'll do some rearranging on Sunday maybe.