Thursday, February 21, 2008


I'm sitting in the staffroom talking to Gavin and Rich D about various things including Monty Python. Rich gets up and goes to go out for a fag but suddenly turns round and comes back.

Rich - "I've just had this totally random thought. If me and Gav were sex toys, I'd be like this huge dildo and Gav would be this little butt plug."

Gavin and Kate - "..."

Rich - "I think I watched too much porn last night."


Who says lunchtimes are boring.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Brychan wins...

Originally uploaded by EmLah.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Why my boyfriend is a sneaky bastard...

As I said before, Anthony is working 5-1 this week. So I was aware that Valentine's Day was going to be a non-starter and then we agreed we'd go out for a really nice meal at the weekend instead.

But I come home today and the hall light is on. This made me think I was going barmy as I couldn't remember turning it on this morning, then I went into the living room.

I've got my champagne marmite (bought by myself on his behalf), flowers (now being nibbled on by Foley), champagne and the new tv is here too, plus a lovely card.

He is a sneaky git sometimes.

The only means that he knows I've done no washing-up this week and my plan to do it all tomorrow has been foiled.

Hope youu've all had a great day! (I know David has, congrats Dave!)

By John Fuller

The things about you I appreciate
May seem indelicate:
I'd like to find you in the shower
And chase the soap for half an hour.
I'd like to have you in my power
And see your eyes dilate.
I'd like to have your back to scour
And other parts to lubricate.
Sometimes I feel it is my fate
To chase you screaming up a tower
Or make you cower
By asking you to differentiate
Nietzsche from Schopenhauer.
I'd like successfully to guess your weight
And win you at a fete.
I'd like to offer you a flower.

I like the hair upon your shoulders,
Falling like water over boulders.
I like the shoulders, too: they are essential.
Your collar-bones have great potential
(I'd like all your particulars in folders
Marked Confidential).

I like your cheeks, I like your nose,
I like the way your lips disclose
The neat arrangement of your teeth
(Half above and half beneath)
In rows.

I like your eyes, I like their fringes.
The way they focus on me gives me twinges.
Your upper arms drive me berserk.
I like the way your elbows work,
On hinges.

I like your wrists, I like your glands,
I like the fingers on your hands.
I'd like to teach them how to count,
And certain things we might exchange,
Something familiar for something strange.
I'd like to give you just the right amount
And get some change.

I like it when you tilt your cheek up.
I like the way you nod and hold a teacup.
I like your legs when you unwind them.
Even in trousers I don't mind them.
I like each softly-moulded kneecap.
I like the little crease behind them.
I'd always know, without recap,
Where to find them.

I like the sculpture of your ears.
I like the way your profile disappears
Whenever you decide to turn and face me.
I'd like to cross two hemispheres
And have you chase me.
I'd like to smuggle you across frontiers
Or sail with you at night into Tangiers.
I'd like you to embrace me.

I'd like to see you ironing your skirt
And cancelling other dates.
I'd like to button up your shirt.
I like the way your chest inflates.
I'd like to soothe you when you're hurt
Or frightened senseless by invertebrates.

I'd like you even if you were malign
And had a yen for sudden homicide.
I'd let you put insecticide
Into my wine.
I'd even like you if you were the Bride of Frankenstein
Or something ghoulish out of Mamoulian's Jekyll and Hyde.
I'd even like you as my Julian
Of Norwich or Cathleen ni Houlihan.
How melodramatic
If you were something muttering in attics
Like Mrs Rochester or a student of Boolean mathematics.

You are the end of self-abuse.
You are the eternal feminine.
I'd like to find a good excuse
To call on you and find you in.
I'd like to put my hand beneath your chin.
And see you grin.
I'd like to taste your Charlotte Russe,
I'd like to feel my lips upon your skin,
I'd like to make you reproduce.

I'd like you in my confidence.
I'd like to be your second look.
I'd like to let you try the French Defence
And mate you with my rook.
I'd like to be your preference
And hence
I'd like to be around when you unhook.
I'd like to be your only audience,
The final name in your appointment book,
Your future tense.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Four Things

I had this as an email from both my mother and sister, and now FatBoyFat has tagged me with it to distract me from my woes. (I feel much better today by the way.)

Four jobs I've held:

Telephone Interviewer.
Qualified Sales Advisor at Holland & Barrett.
Christmas Temp at New Look.

Four movies I've watched over and over again:

French Kiss - love this film.
Serendipity - just fab.
The Care Bears Movie - because Emily was addicted to this film as a small child.
Scream - because one of my housemates at uni hated it, and if I was watching it she wouldn't stay in the living room, thus leaving me in peace!

Four places I've been:

Lloret De Mar.

Four places I've lived:

Awali, Bahrain.
Stroud, Gloucestershire.
Istead Rise, Kent.
Canterbury, Kent.

Four TV shows I watch:

Ashes to Ashes (I loved Life on Mars)

Four radio shows I listen to:

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue
The Shipping Forecast.
The Archers.
The Goon Show (on BBC7)

Four things I look forward to:

Summer - with sunshine this year please.
Center Parcs at Easter - especially the massage I'm booking myself!
Getting divorced.
Moving house.

Four favourite foods:

Spag Bol.
Steak sandwiches in french bread.
Subway Italian BMT (footlong, herb and cheese bread, extra cheese, green pepper, honey mustard sauce)

Four places I'd rather be:

Anywhere warm.
Summer 1996.
In bed with Anthony.
Shattrath City.

Four people I e-mail regularly:


Four people I've tagged:


Sunflower Cross-Stitch

Originally uploaded by Petronella Rose.

It's coming along!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Ranty Ranty Stress Stress

I don't have a coping mechanism at the moment. That might sound strange so let me explain. When I was in my early teens and stressed about school I had a surefire way of releasing all that stress and feeling better, what Wikipedia refers to as "Self Injury". (the motives bit explains it perfectly.) When in the Upper Sixth and at uni, vodka was my cushion between me and the real world. Now however I don't have the ability to do either. Ability is the wrong word really, but I promised myself a very long time ago that the cutting had to be out and it never even crosses my mind when I get stressed (except when I'm thinking about it like this) and the vodka is very much not an option as apart from anything else I don't have the money to drink the way I used to!

But just writing all that has helped.

Today I had one job to do at work. Admittedly a big job, but easily doable in a day even with breaks to serve customers. I didn't get it done, mainly because one of my coworkers kept interrupting me to complain about the fact that they kept getting interrupted and couldn't finish what they were trying to do. So RichieFingers listened to me rant about that which helped, and I shall finish my task tomorrow!

Anthony is working 5-1 this week which is adding to my general grumpiness. I won't be seeing him til Saturday (at about 2am) and I miss him, and not just because he cooks me lovely food...

In other news my kitchen is still looking pretty good after my ex-next-door-neighbour Angela came round last Wednesday and organised me and did my washing-up. She'd popped in on Tues to ask when my day off was and if I wanted to do anything, but on Wed I was more than a little bit meh so she came round and made me feel lots better. Thankyou Angela!

I got to speak to Campbelli today who is still enjoying herself in her new job, and still enjoying the novelty of living with her lovely Jamie, although she is unimpressed with housework...

Gavin has been keeping us all entertained at work with his general Indiana Jonesness, although the cheeky bugger is having a long weekend so isn't hanging out for the whole of our Monday-Friday slog this week.

Other Happy Things
1) Mum's cross stitch is really coming along. (I shall post a picture).
2) I really enjoyed the new Sarah Dessen book The Truth About Forever (even though I wasn't sure how it would affect me) and have reread Just Listen.
3) The new Formula One season guide is out (I'm ignoring Hamilton all over the cover - that's a rant all of its own! Although they have changed it to include a small pic of Kimi, the ACTUAL champion!)
4) Caroline went to Malta!
5) I have been reading David's blog and thinking about philosphical things I haven't thought about in years.
6) The puzzled looks on Liz and Gavin's faces this morning when I said "Last night I got myself a new top and some trousers...and a lovely dagger" - In Warcraft that would be.
7) Anthony has got his hands on seasons 2,3 and 4 of Charmed.
8) I had a £40 Virgin Wine voucher arrive in the post.
9) It's only 17 days until I can get divorced!

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Random Dad Fact #2

I spoke to my sister today.

The play she is currently working on involves lots of scaffolding. Therefore she has been sensible and bought herself some steel-toe capped boots. (Apparently they are beautiful).

She finally found them in Schuh after trying all sorts of other places.

Random Dad Fact = You need to have a special license to sell steel-toe capped boots/shoes.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Distracted again

I'm a bit discombobulated at the moment (oooh, I love that word).

I keep wanting to do things and then either talking myself out of them or just getting distracted. They're not big things, just little bits of stuff usually, but I don't seem to be able to get anywhere doing them.

(Even this blog post, it was all making sense in my head til I started typing...)

This is why I have been flaking I guess. Saturday was a very relaxed day - 7 episodes of E.R. and lots and lots of stitching. Sunday was shopping and WoW. I guess it just feels like I'm doing nothing with my time and that I should be doing more, but when I do I get stressed and snappy and generally am not fit to be out in public.

I've been vaguely thinking (again) about doing an OU course, but agin I don't know which course, I don't want to pick one and then hate it and feel like it was a waste of money, I don't want to sign up and then not do it "because I've got no time" even though I so have.

It's all just a bit meh.

On the bright side:

1) Mum's stitching is really coming along.
2) I've got Anthony hooked on Charmed.
3) I'd forgotten just how much I loved George Clooney as Doug Ross.
4) We're going shopping for a BIG shiny tv in a minute.
5) My 42 games game just arrived so I have something other than Sudoku to do on the DS.
6) I got the new Sarah Dessen proof today.
7) After spending three whole days doing "related product" (cards/notebooks/giftwrap) last week it's all done and I can get back to doing book stuff.
8) I got Tanara up to level 60 and Crimsone up to 40 on WoW. (and bought Crimsone a big red emu bird as a mount)
9) I've discovered a Mornington Crescent game on Facebook!