Stuff

This post has been brewing for a while and I've kept it inside until I just couldn't manage it any more. I've had a couple of people tell me that I need to write this down, not just for me but for them as well. So we shall see.

There's been a big thread on the Grove this week about what to do if someone is psychically attacking you, or if someone sends you bad energy because they think you're attacking them. Lots of interesting stuff has come out of this.

The week Georgia was here a few of us on the trip had a really big shock. We were getting bad vibes and so confided in someone that we all trusted. We expected her to help us somehow, not necessarily to agree with us, but not to dismiss it out of hand which is what at least 4 of the six of us feel that she did.

It started on the Monday when Phoenix and I were talking to Georgia and another visitor arrived. They walked straight past Phoenix to make much of Georgia, which is fair enough as she was the reason they were there. But to completely ignore the person who is letting you stay in their home? And to only say a thank you of sorts a week later? To me that sucks.

So we sat and chatted and I didn't feel comfortable, so went and got my assorted Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young CD's to put on as they always mellow me out. So I tried to relax and mostly succeeded. But for most of the afternoon I just felt like I was in the way, like I was the interloper in their space, instead of them being a guest in my house. Mab came round later and I relaxed then as I mostly felt comfortable. But as soon as Mab went, I felt horrible again. I felt pushed out of MY house. So we made excuses and went up to bed. Didn't get a whole lot of sleep though...Sound really carries in our house and I would have needed earplugs and a bottle of vodka to sleep through that.

The next day was mostly the same, feeling pushed out of my house and unwelcome. Then they went out for a while with Georgia and the house went back to normal after about 30 minutes. So I wandered round with incense and then had a lovely hot bath. I had just come out to talk to Phoenix when I heard them at the front door...And ran back into the bathroom so that I didn't have to feel that shit again.

We went to the moot that evening and I felt weird the whole time. The moot was great though because I wasn't the only one there who felt that way. One person said to me that they really didn't like the way this person kept leering at everyone, and their partner was saying to Phoenix that they really didn't like being in the same room.

We went home fairly late after the moot, but once again we got no sleep. At one point it had been quiet for a while so I thought I'd nip downstairs to the toilet and then try to sleep. On my way back from the toilet I suddenly felt really uncomfortable and ran across the living room to the stairs and pulled the stair door shut behind me. I'd only gone a few steps up when I heard the door to the living room from the hall (and Georgia's room) open. It felt like someone had been there waiting for me to go upstairs again. Got back into bed and cuddled up to Phoenix and we were just starting to drift off when it got all noisy again.

I'd really been looking forward to the camping but Wednesday morning I was so pissed off and tired! When the others got to the house the whole place seemed to brighten right up. On the drive up to the camping I told a friend about it and they were so sympathetic I nearly cried all over them. As the weather brightened my mood lifted. Got pissed off again at the services when they said they were stopping to eat, then we saw them leaving the car park about 5 minutes later - more of the whole "get out of my space, away from my things" energy there.

Setting up the camp was great and then we wandered into town and went to the pub. After a while they joined us and the mood seemed to really drop. Jennie ended up talking to them for a bit, and then we all went off for fish and chips. While we were eating Jennie said that she'd felt really uncomfortable in the pub, and then said it was because she felt that this person was leering right at her, not talking to her face but talking to her chest, and making soo many innuendos.

We did all have a chat about this while sitting on the market cross and decided that the things that were getting to all of us were the ways that this person would made a lewd comment, but then repeat it three or four times straight away. That they didn't seem to get that it was impolite to stare at someone's breasts. That as soon as they turned up they immediately had to know exactly what everyone else was doing.

That evening at the camp was ok, we were all a bit quiet really. I was just so exhausted. I slept straight through that night, the first time I have EVER done that on my first night in a strange place, especially in a tent!

The next morning we went for breakfast at the Blue Note, but had only been there a little while before they turned up. They said they'd gone to the campsite but when no-one was there, had left something in Georgias tent and then come looking for us. Now this was another thing I didn't like, going into someone's tent when they aren't there. Fine if they know you will be there and you have asked, but it seemed very rude. We sat outside the Blue Note and were relaxing quite well until the innuendos started. The same comment several times in quick succession - each time aimed at a different female present, each time not looking at their faces. Jennie then got up and said she needed fresh air...I practically ran after her!

We then went on a nice shopping wander throughout Glastonbury. Went to their shop but were ignored completely in favour of Mab and Georgia. Didn't mind being ignored, better than being leered over! After the shopping we went back to the campsite in dribs and drabs. Ended up being the six of us again and we were all just sitting about chilling out when I got grabbed from behind. They'd come down to the campsite to see where everyone was, but instead of walking straight down (as at least 3 people were sitting so they could see the way people would walk to our tents), they crept along the hedgerow so that they could "surprise" us. If I hadn't been so relaxed when they did it, they would have got a broken nose at least, and as it was Phoenix nearly went for them. When they'd asked for a detailed itinerary of what we were doing that evening (answered with lots of dunnos and maybes) they went away, but the peaceful time had gone.

We went into town to go to the Wells and only just made it. We did all get in in time (just). The person had said that they definitely weren't coming into the wells as they had things to do, but all of a sudden there they were. I ended up moving through the terraces faster than I wanted to. I would get to a place and just be feeling still when they came round the corner. Eventually we all went up into the top meadow and weren't followed. We had such a nice time up there. I just lay back and looked at the sky with Phoenix. Jamie was blowing bubbles and the view of tree and blue blue sky and bubbles was heavenly.

After a while we got curious as to where Georgia had got to. Then Andy C looked through his telescope and she was climbing the Tor already. Apparently they had thought that we'd all gone on ahead without them (which we wouldn't have done without saying where we were going). So we all went up the Tor and sat at the top. Jamie, Jennie, Juell, me, Phoenix and Andy C all sat against the tower and drank some mead and cider. The others were sitting on the edge of the slope. We watched the sunset and chilled out quite a lot. On the way down Juell was saying what she thought rather loudly!

At the bottom things started to go pear-shaped. We'd been invited to the local moot and decided we were going to go along now. They kept telling us there was no point and that no-one would still be there and then set off with Georgia to go to the moot. The person who went with them felt very pushed aside and they kept saying that "you should just go back to the others". We caught up with them at the pub at last. The moot that "will have finished" was still going on, but when Jennie went up she was frozen out. I then went with her but got the same reaction.

Phoenix had been asking for advice on the walk back from the Tor, and was very surprised when he basically got told he was imagining things. He tried to say that others were uncomfortable too, but this was also dismissed. The worst bit for me was when I tried to explain how I felt and was told "they're in a relationship". Fine, no problem, but all the bullshitting and advoidance? The leering? ...Never got an answer to that. The person I'd asked for advice seemed to be settled with the idea that I was being jealous and didn't like sharing my time with Georgia with anyone.

Things got worse at the campsite. We'd left the pub early and then Mab, Aud, and Ian joined us later. We all assumed that Georgia was still with the person, so when Jamie and I went to the loo and saw her there we got a bit freaked.

Very freaked in fact, it was like something out of a bad horror film. You think you see someone walking, but aren't sure. The you see them at the sinks and talk to them. They're right behind you as you leave the block, but when you get back to the tents (the only place they could really go) they've gone. You tell the person who saw them last and they say "you're imagining it". The they deny she's about. Then they say "Oh, she's drunk".

Now if I was in a strange country and walking about drunk in the pitch black, I'd like people to be concerned. But this person wasn't. So we all went to look for Georgia and I admit that I was very upset and very stressed. I'd had very little sleep because of a person, and now the person I really trusted was telling me I was imagining everything.

We found Georgia but before I could speak to her I was waved away, dismissed. I went back to the tents in a blinding rage, grounded myself and then burst into tears.

The next morning I was asked "what the situation is" because things were so tense. I was told that Georgia had walked away from me the night before because she was mad at me. We all tried to say what we felt and were basically told that we'd been drunk and imagining it. I had to walk away here...Couldn't keep my temper.

When I calmed down I had a talk with Georgia. She said she hadn't been drunk, or mad she just needed to release some energy as she was really buzzing. Fine, but why hadn't this just been said the night before? No hassle then, just peace instead of war. I tried to explain exactly what it was that made me uncomfortable to Georgia and she said that it was just this persons way, she had no trouble with it. I said fine. I couldn't work out how to verbalize the fact that this person made us all feel sleazy all the time.

When we got home I cleaned the house, I cleansed the house, I made the house feel like mine again and shut out all the residual energy that was left from them.

Two weeks later one person is only just starting to post again. Two others read a bit but don't want to be in there at the moment. I am there because I have as much right to be there as anyone.

But they posted in the energy blocking thread and wound me right up. They posted that all they send is love and light, and that they hope certain people are reading and learning. Now I NEVER said that this person was attacking me, as far as I can tell they are only sending love. But their love energy feels dirty, sleazy, leery, lechy to me. So please stop sending me love. Actually, you can carry on as it all gets filtered clean and then used for useful things. Hey I'm not going to turn down free energy now!

Well it only took an HOUR to write that lot! I feel soo much better, cleansed right out. I still need to talk to the person who dismissed me, I don't think they have any idea how much this has upset people!

(BTW, I know that most of you will be able to fill in the blanks on names, but I'm happier to leave them as official blanks, the people concerned should know who they are.)

Now I need to go work on a spell to get rid of nightmares for someone who went on that trip. She had her psychic side really battered by this person, possibly unintentional I don't know - I just know she didn't ask for any of the energy that they gave her, and that's damn rude.