It's been a strange week this week. I seem to have been either running around like a mad thing, or doing nothing at all.
I've been feeling really trapped recently. Now I like Wolverhampton, I love the people I've met here, but it's just not green enough for me. Back down in Billericay I'd walk to work down long green streets of houses with gardens and travel on the bus through open countryside. Here I walk down streets full of terraced houses until I reach the ring road, then cross that and I'm in the town centre and at work. I haven't got a car so i can't even get to the countryside that I know is just 15 minutes drive away. I can't wait to go camping at the end of May, and to go home for that week in June. When we buy our house, it MUST have a garden with grass in, or at least be more of a space I can do things with, and ideally it will be somewhere a little more green and growing. I just can't get used to all this concrete.
Tomorrow it's three years since I met Phoenix, the time has just flown by. We met when the Chelmsford Moot held a Beltane ritual in Danbury woods. I went with Pami and was still seeing Luke at the time yet was fascinated by the quiet stranger at the fireside. I miss those woods, they weren't the closest woodland to home, but they were the ones where the moot people went quite a few times, I can remember fire-walking there in Jan/Feb 2002.
The other thing I miss is the sea. I'm not even sure why because we never really used to go there from Billericay (Southend is about 30 mins drive and would be the closest beach I think), but I guess the peace of that holiday at Southwold has really stuck with me. I wish it wasn't so expensive there, it would be the perfect place to spend our July holiday. For now I will keep listening to the sea CD we listen too at night (it's a nice change from thunderstorm sounds).
Still I've had a nice relaxing evening tonight, just chilling with my man and the mad fuzzies. Roll on the rest of the Bank Holiday weekend.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
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