Saturday, October 13, 2007

Gosh I was a bit miserable last night wasn't I?

That was a bad day, today is going to be a good one.

On good days I am grateful that I got to spend so much time with my dad when I was younger and that I haven't (that WE haven't) then had to watch him change so much through illness that the old dad vanished.

After writing last nights post I spoke to mum and Emily. Mum told me to "stop wallowing. Imagine how bad it is for me!" - In vain did I protest that I wasn't, just having a bad day and that I was was worrying about her. I got told off for buying a book on grief "it'll tell you what to feel" and told off for associating James Taylor with dad "He didn't like his music, I do!". Ah well, my mother is coping in her own way as Emily kept telling me.

Emily has told me off for worrying about her so I shall try to stop (I said TRY) and instead follow her advice: "Worry about yourself, ignore mum she's never really understood you, do what you need to do to get through this."

I love my sister.

So today I am up early (ugh) for the early shift at work which means I get to finish early and spend more time with my man. We will watch the last episode of Scrubs Season Three (Turk and Carla's Wedding) and eat something that might be slightly nutritious.

Life is ok, not great, not terrible, just carrying on with a bit of a gap in it but not one that stops the whole damn thing forever.

2 comments:

Michelle said...

I don't know what to say in times like these, but know I'm thinking about you and your family and would give you a hug if I could...

EmLah said...

i said she doesnt understand u now! she understood u very well when u were younger :) lol i love you too

xxx