Mad Crazy Bouncy Day

I had a great day today. I woke up singing, bounced downstairs and got everything I needed to do done with time to spare.

Work was fun too! Campbelli didn't get her Merry Hell job, but it means she gets to stay with us! Richie was being mad Friday Richie in his nice pink jumper, and Phil wasn't having a good day although it improved for him once he started trying to decide which customers I should date. He'd left by the time the nicest one came in. 6' tall, dark hair, rugby shirt and a very nice bum. I got caught staring at his arse though when he turned round to ask me a question about some Natural History books while I was hiding behind the DIY browser. He was very nice, but made Richie Fingers call me a bitch on heat. I'm not on heat, I just appreciate nice bottoms - and they also help distract me from the major crush I have at the moment.

Honestly, just admitting I have a crush makes me feel about 15, it's ridiculous! But nice to think of him while I wander about at work, and then to see a real-life gorgeous man just topped it all off nicely.

Coming home to find Andy waiting for his pc wasn't so nice. I opened the door to him and just thought to myself "Why?". How could the girl who goes for cute guys, with short hair you want to run your fingers though and a mind that can keep up with my flights of fancy; how could I fall for, let alone marry a non-cute guy with long hair who doesn't read. Ok, so the whole "going to study philosophy" thing may have charmed me, but he never did that in the end, and I can't remember him reading anything that wasn't a wrestling book in the nearly 4 years we were together.

I have to find that list that the guys at work wrote me. Then I can work my way down it and see where my crush is flawed (and hopefully get over him that way). I might even post it on here and get extra contributions from you lot.

I also went clothes shopping today. Attempting to find something with the guidelines I had (Mark: "Wear less", Campbelli: "Something tight", Phil: "Just don't wear anything") was difficult but in the end I found a very nice shirt that just had to be mine. When you see a photo you'll understand why.

Tonight is chilling night again. I have the rest of Sin City to watch and I think I'm going to have to watch Notting Hill too.

Totally shit day

So, I wake up feeling like fat exhausted slug woman. Stumble to the bathroom and discover exactly why I feel like this. Get soaked on my way to work despite my umbrella.

Work is tolerable due to the fact it's payday and I go and buy lots of M&M's and Cheery Coke. I also bought The Bitch Goddess' Notebook - get to page 23 and burst into tears. Campbelli is now borrowing it until I feel able to actually read it.

Get home soaked again and almost drown bringing the bin in. Sit down at the pc ready for a nice evening of Warcraft...and the modem won't work.

Where Foley bit through the power cable and we had it repaired has finally given up the ghost. So I'm back on AOL free trial dial-up and it takes me 15 minutes to find the BT phone number online because AOL is so damn slow.

So I've ordered a new modem (£25 that I can't really afford) and it will arrive on Monday, when I'm at work so I'll actually get it on Wednesday.

I'm going to curl up on the sofa with my Cherry Coke, M&M's, fuzzy blanket (I'm already in my pjs) and cross-stitch. Then maybe the day will improve.

Bleh.

Top Ten Books

This is all due to Mark trying to come up with a list of ten books and making me think about mine.

So after quite a lot of thinking, and some blatant cheating by creating a separate childrens list, here is my top ten...I mean twenty.

Adults Books

1. Skallagrigg – William Horwood
2. 1984 – George Orwell
3. Stranger in a Strange Land – Robert Heinlein
4. The Lord of the Rings – J.R.R. Tolkien
5. I Capture the Castle – Dodie Smith
6. Thornyhold – Mary Stewart
7. The Eight – Katherine Neville
8. Omega – Stewart Farrar
9. The Probable Future – Alice Hoffman
10. American Gods – Neil Gaiman


Childrens Books

1. The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkien.
2. Fire and Hemlock – Diana Wynne Jones
3. Saffy’s Angel/Indigo’s Star/Permanent Rose – Hilary McKay (separate links here)
4. Green Angel – Alice Hoffman
5. Linnets and Valerians – Elizabeth Goudge
6. A Hat Full of Sky – Terry Pratchett
7. The Dark is Rising Sequence – Susan Cooper
8. Dogger – Shirley Hughes
9. Howl’s Moving Castle – Diana Wynne Jones
10. Sabriel/Lirael/Abhorsen – Garth Nix

I know I've also cheated by including series', but they are ones where the whole series has changed me. I'm sure that when Caddy Ever After gets published it will be added in there too, and Wintersmith also stands a chance.

(I'll add some more links to my list tomorrow when I'm not so sleepy!)

My burglar alarm...

...has hiccups.

Recently it's been going beep every now and again. The alarm whistles and the strobe light in the bedroom flashes (last owners were deaf). This only happens when I am standing in the bedroom doorway and it's been scaring the hell out of me. It first did it on Friday and has done it a few more times since then, frightening me each time.

It did it just now as I went to sort some washing. I step off the top step and step outside the bedroom doorway and the alarm hiccups. I stepped back into the same place (from inside the bedroom) and it did it again. I then bounced up and down in that spot and it did it lots more.

I think there must be a loose connection under the floor there where the wire comes up the stairs and across the threshold to run up the bedroom wall. It's reassured me slightly cos now I know it shouldn't wake me up in the middle of the night (just the cats doing that then) and it should be fixable.

"Contact letting agents about alarm" - added to To-Do list.

Pants

After that earlier post I went hunting for those 18th birthday tapes to see exactly what was on them and post the list on here. But I cannot find them. I thought I knew which box they were in, but again that box has gone.....

Instead I found some of the mix tapes I used to make, combinations of songs from the radio, other tapes and my parent's music. I present tapes 1, 5 and 9.

These are very very bad sometimes, I would apologise but I feel it wouldn't be quite enough.

----------------------------

Kate's Tape 1 (no date)

Get Ready For This
Preacher Man
The Stonk
Change
Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmm
Jump To The Beat
U Can't Touch This
The Power
Do The Bartman
Moanin' Lisa Blues
Deep, Deep Trouble
Games
I'll Be Back
3am Eternal
Everybody's Free
Ring, Ring, Ring
The Grease Mega Mix
Shocked
Total Eclipse Of The Heart
Caravan Song
Piano Man

(no artists names recorded, but I know you know some of them. All I can say about this one is oh dear. But I still like Piano Man)

Kate's Tape V November '93

Babe - Take That
It Only Takes A Minute Girl - Take That
A Million Love Songs - Take That
I Can't Tell You Why - The Eagles
The Long Run - The Eagles
Everything Changes - Take That
Heartache Tonight - The Eagles
Pray - Take That
Seven Bridges Road - The Eagles
Wasting My Time - Take That
Love Ain't Here Anymore - Take That
Victim Of Love - The Eagles
Why Can't I Wake Up With You - Take That
The Sad Cafe - The Eagles
You Are The One - Take That
Another Crack In My Heart - Take That
Babe - Take That
It Only Takes A Minute - Take That
A Million Love Songs - Take That
Dreams - Gabrielle
Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.
Only The Good Die Young - Billy Joel
Helplessly Hoping - Crosby, Stills & Nash

(I was obviously having a Take That/Eagles moment on this one. Does having R.E.M. on there redeem it a little? or insult R.E.M.?)

Kate's Tape IX (no date)

Crazy For You - Let Loose
The Power Of Love - Huey Lewis & The News
Blame It On Me - D:REAM
Only The Good Die Young - Billy Joel
Seven Seconds - Youssen D'our & Neneh Cherry
Always - Bon Jovi
If You Leave Me Now - Chicago
Secret - Madonna
Desperado - The Eagles
Bright Eyes - Art Garfunkel
Devotion - Sean Maguire
Searching - China Black
Dreamlover - Mariah Carey
A Million Love Songs - Take That
Cryin' - Aerosmith
Uptown Girl - Billy Joel
Seventeen - Let Loose
Sweetness - Michelle Gayle
Stars - China Black
Song For You - Chicago
Someone To Love - Sean Maguire
Tell Her About It - Billy Joel
Some Girls - Ultimate Kaos
Strangest Party - INXS
She's Got That Vibe - R. Kelly
The Division Bell - Pink Floyd

(easiest the strangest combination of songs. I think the Let Loose and Michelle Gayle should be enough to date it, and where did the Pink Floyd come from?)

I would like to attempt to apologise for these after all. To my sister certainly, whose own taste in music is legendary (MUSE!!!!) and certainly to Mark, who is probably feeling very very frightened right now.

So here's a much better apology than I could ever muster.

Ok, bear with me...

I was walking home thinking about posting something about music. About the mix tapes I used to love making and the memories I had of the people I made them for.

Then I thought about the tapes I have from my 18th birthday, when my dad got me to choose my 100 favourite songs and put them onto a reel-to-reel and onto cassettes for me. I thought about the songs I picked then and how I would choose a few of them again if I had to choose my top 100 now.

Then I was thinking about the various songs that have captured me at different times and how I've changed from song to song.

Then "Everything Changes" came of my MP3 player and made me giggle - everything does indeed change. I'm sure that song is on my 18th birthday mix, yet I only started listening to it again when I bought myself the greatest hits CD for my 27th birthday.

One song that I thought of was "Let It Be" (by The Beatles of course). I can remember listening to this on repeat for a whole day once. It was the day that David found out I was seeing Jon and I had to decide what to do. Did I try to rebuild a relationship with a guy I had lots in common with, but who lived 200 miles away. Or did I try things with a guy I'd only just met but already felt a great deal for. That day lying in bed and listening to "Let It Be" over and over and over was a day in limbo, where I was so scared of making that decision that I couldn't make any decision at all.
I've always been scared of jumping into water and that was a jump like that. I was wobbling about on a pillar, knowing I had to jump, but unable to choose which way.

Ever relationship I've had had finished like that, teetering on the edge and having to make a choice. Except this last one. I wasn't on that pillar, I was on firm ground when it suddenly went from under me. I fell for a little while, purely cos I thought that was what I had to do.

Then I said no.

Then I opened my eyes and opened my eyes again*.

Then I flew.

Ok, so there are times when it gets a bit wobbly (like the other night), but I know that they're unavoidable really. Yeah, I can drink less when I go out, and I can stop having such high expectations -instead of go out, drink lots, flirt lots; make it go out, drink a bit, dance lots.

I know I can do this, and I'm going to. Life is something everybody does, after all.

*Hoicked from "A Hat Full of Sky" by Terry Pratchett.

Ahhhhhhhhh.....

It's been a good day.

I have watched films and football and chatted on MSN lots and played some WoW and had very nice Waitrose pie and chocolate.

The kittens have been fuzzy, the sunshine has been bouncing rainbows round my house and I managed to have the living room window open for a whole 30 minutes before Foley tried to escape.

I have followed every link I could on various peoples blogs and websites too - in an attempt to learn new things, and I did.

My kitchen is still lovely and clean too!





Can you tell I like having broadband so I can play around with extra photos!

Monday, Monday

This is the first Easter Monday ever where I haven't had to do anything. Guess it's a benefit of growing up, you don't get the two week Easter holidays but you don't have to do everything you're told.

Emily has uploaded some photos of Saturday night and I shall put my favourites on here too.







I've slso added pictures to my Sunny Essex post.

I'm now going to watch the Disney film of The Moonspinners. Nowhere near as good as the book, but the addition of Hayley Mills makes it ok, although the Nicky in the book is a very different girl to the one in the film. Later I've got Robin Hood to watch too!

Now where did I put that chocolate.....

BROADBAND!!!!

I'm got my broadband back!

During a MSN chat with the "third man" (as mentioned in last nights drunken rant) I explained that I currently only had dial-up and that it was because I had no idea where the disc with the modem software was.

He has the same modem, and he has his disc. So after a further discussion on MSN we met up to see if it was a case of me borrowing it, or him coming and installing it.

He not only came and installed it, he also did all my Windows and anti-virus updates for me too!

So I have broadband and I have been reminded that there are some very nice men out there, they just need looking for in other places than nightclubs.

WoW is also all installed, the pictures are on the London Calling post and Emily's MSN thing states that she "is in love with Indiana Beaver".

Bed time for me now, and I'll actually get a lie-in in the morning! I have only two things I have to do tomorrow, go into town and get phone credit, and email a very big thankyou to a very very nice man.

UNBE-BEAVERABLE!

Emily's home.....

Difficult

Everyone tells me that I'm coping so well when I feel like I'm falling apart on the little things.

Mum spent the day cleaning my kitchen, which was fine, but then she had a go at me for not having cleaned the cooker since he moved out. I tried to say that it was because I can only do a certain amount of cleaning before getting depressed so I stop before that and do something else - but she "doesn't believe" in depression. She tried to think positive all the time, which is fine, but she doesn't let anyone else slip even for a moment.

Ok, so my cooker top was a mess, but I hadn't gone out and spent £50 on vodka which I could have done.

----------------

I went out tonight with Emily, Katie W and Matt. It was a good time, I lost once at pool and then beat Matt in the rematch (which considering I hadn't played for 6 years was pretty good). The problem came when we went to Blastoff @ The Civic. Katie wanted to find me a nice man to snog, and there weren't any. There were a few ok guys, but they all either had girls or turned away when I flirted. It just made me feel a bit crap, which is why I'm posting.

It's a bugger that the two men I really like at the moment are so not suitable, and that I have no mobile credit to flirt with a third one!

This came on in the cab home and I hope it's true, cos it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

"She Will Be Loved"

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

[in the background]
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Yeah
[softly]
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Try so hard to say goodbye

----------------------

Is it wrong to want to feel like you're the most important person in the world? To feel adored and loved and safe?

I shall go to bed with my cats and cry, and dream of a better tomorrow.

Grrrrrr...

Ok, so I'm back and the living room is rearranged and the new pc all set up except...

...we can't get the broadband running. The original discs for installing it have vanished (I suspect a certain person may have *accidentally* taken them with him) and despite the fact I emailed BT last week to get them to send new discs, none have yet arrived.

So this is being typed via a very very s-l-o-w dial-up free trial and I want my broadband back!

Bleh, going to bed!

Restful Thursday

Well apart from the cleaning I did earlier to help my dad.

I still don't have pictures from yesterday cos Emily was at work all day and then only came home for long enough to get changed before heading out to see Story of the Year at the Astoria tonight. Hopefully I'll get them off her tomorrow before we start the long journey northwards.

I did a bit of tatting with the sidebar earlier, put in my April things and added a new blog that I came across by accident.

I'm not sure if the next time I post it'll be from my new shiny Dell pc or not, it depends if BT have sent through a copy of their internet software to me - or if we can find the original disc!

I'm off to play a large amount of Neopets games and possibly even get an early night for once!

London Calling

We actually managed to leave the house quite early for our trip and wandered through the park talking about where we should go first. We decided to go straight to Notting Hill because it was a straightforward tube journey and then plan our day from there.

So we get to Notting Hill and find the shop where The Bookseller To The Stars works and we head inside.
Can't see him anywhere so ask a nice young lady at the counter...

"Hi, um, is Mark about?"

"Oh, he's not in today I'm afraid."

D'oh!!! Plans for surprising him are dashed.

"Are you Kate?" enquires the lass behind the counter.

"Yeeeeesssss" I say, surprised.

"Ah, he phoned earlier and said you might be in. Here's his number, give him a ring and he'll be here in about 5 minutes".

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a very good thing I'd posted that little throw-away comment at the end of my earlier post. It's also a very good thing that he'd read my blog that morning and promptly phoned his colleagues to tell them to give me his number!

Emily announces she NEEDS Starbucks and we depart the shop.

I phone Mark and arrange to meet him outside the Starbucks (just over the road from his work) and while Emily enjoys her caramel latte thing (and eyes up the workmen) I keep my eyes out for a person who looks like a Bookseller To The Stars.

One duely appears and after lots of "Oh my god I couldn't believe it was your day off" he takes us on a tour of Notting Hill. I'm very glad it was his day off actually, as that guided tour was great and a short hello while he was working would have been a bit pants (well, not pants, but pants compared to the fun that actually happened).

We wandered along the Portobello Road and while Emily took pictures and drooled over shop windows we nattered about all sorts. We saw the Travel Bookshop, the blue door (which is now black) from the film, and Mark decided he needed a giant cowboy boot chair. We did spend some money in a very nice shop - Mark bought a bag and I found a badge for Emily that says "Sheep Worrier". None of the badges seemed quite right for me until Mark selected "Looking for love, will settle for sex" and I promply purchased it and then pinned it to my jumper.

After a drink in a nice local pub (where we met one of his regular customers who is a great bloke) Mark had to take his leave, to get on with whatever day-off activities he'd been planning to do before we turned up! Emily took a nice couple of pictures of us next to an elephant and then we parted, promising blog comments in the future and a possible meeting at Reading.



Next stop was Grant and Cutler (as recommended by Mark) for a copy of "The Dolls House" by Ibsen. Emily's doing an essay on it and wanted to pick up a Norwegian edition so she could compare it to her translated one. Unfortunately it was £19.95 so she decided that for the sake of two paragraphs she would pass on it.

Then we wandered down Carnaby Street, stopping in at Pret a Manger (smoked salmon sandwiches for lunch, yum!), David & Goliath, (where we would have spent so much money if we had any) and bnevertoobusytobebeautiful where we wandered around sniffing things (and wished we had money).

In Hamleys we wandered about stroking the soft toys and then Emily bought a beaver. Originally called Dave, he has now become Indiana Beaver....


We finally got to Camden about 4.30pm and then wandered round the shops laughing at the t-shirt slogans....and wishing we had money. (Noticing a theme here? skint student and recently abandoned girlie in London with very little dosh).

I need to go back to Notting Hill with money to buy all the cute things I saw in shops (and to buy Mark some drinks). I've got my lottery ticket so keep your fingers crossed. If I don't win I guess I'll just have to book some time off in a week just after payday and then make sure I visit on his day off again. Then I can shop and have someone to carry the bags (just joking).

I am now very sleepy, but had a totally splendid day, so I shall post this so that Mark can add comments of his own and update it tomorrow when I can get the photos off Emily.

I made fruit crumble!

...and I'm ridicuously proud of the fact.

I went to stay at my friend Pami's last night, I haven't seen her for ages and ages so it was lovely, plus I'd never been to her *new* house (she moved in 2 years ago).

We cooked up roast beef, yorkshire pud (I made the batter), roast potatoes (which I peeled) and parsnips, and steamed swede, squash and cabbage (which I chopped). Then she taught me how to get very messy making fruit crumble.

This obviously involved lots of gossiping at the same time and plenty of exclamations from her about the fact I can't really cook. She had a mother who wanted help in the kitchen and taught at the same time, mine wants you out from under her feet. But I cooked with Pami, and ate the crumble too - and I've always thought I didn't like it. It's made me more determined to make some of the recipes I have at home. Rather than just have lots of French cookbooks, I'm going to use them too. I might even see if there's a basic cooking course I can sign up to at one of the colleges, if it's cheap enough anyways.

My horoscope for today says:

You might find yourself really interested in getting out and doing something with the special people in your life, KATE. This is thanks to the day's planetary aspects, which are conspiring to make this a perfect time to get together. Is there a place you've been curious about and have wanted to visit? If so, go today. Pack up the family or friends, and head out for a fun day checking it out.

Good job I'm off to London with Emily then, going to all sorts of lovely places....Covent Garden, Selfridges (to photograph that expensive sandwich), and of course the real reason I'm going to London - to visit a bookshop.....in Notting Hill.

I'll let you know how it goes.....

Congratulations...

...to Miss S. Campbell who has worked out the comments system. I had wondered why she'd looked so puzzled when I was talking about the comments people hd been making. (((hugs))) love you Campbelli, I'm so glad I didn't poison you on Saturday with Phoenix's nasty abandoned vodka.

I have just discovered a new favourite thing - this. How cool is that! The only problem is I'd put it in my library with all my other books and then never see it. I can't buy it this month (have expensive leather DiscWorld books to pay for) but may well allocate part of my May wages to it...unless I've spotted something even funkier by then.

I love being at home, but I'm not fond of this keyboard. It keeps missing letters out for some reason. (6 in that last sentence). I bite my nails so tend to type with the tips of my fingers, but on this keyboard I have to type with the pads of my fingers and it's giving me cramp in my right hand! I am trying to grow my nails btw and if my new computer keyboard is like this one I may try out some false nails for next weekend. I shall get Katie W to take a picture of me with talons if I do.

Essex is cloudy this morning, but it was so randomly nice to drift awake to the sound of Radio 4 from my parents room. I have been hearing that for such a long time! Emily is in bed and wuoldn't even get up to look at the funky thing, but she says she'll see it later. Mum's gone to work, and dad is reading downstairs and watching the birds in the back garden.

Life is good....I shall get Emily to take lots of pictures of it later.

Back in sunny Essex

That wasn't too bad a trip actually. I sat next to quite a cute guy on the train to London and we did the whole accidentally elbowing each other thing like you do on trains. The tube was easy - took my usual route of northern line to Bank and then Central to Liverpool Street. Then I caught a train full of Essex children back to Billericay.

The walk from the station was perfect though. Walking down paths that I've walked for over 20 years, seeing how things have changed and also how they haven't.


Noticing the new graffitti on the fences and the new railings in the park (designed to stop children falling in the lake). Trying to decide whether to take the "new" path round the lake (that's been there 10 years, easy) but in the end taking the same route home, past new and old things that just all come together to say HOME.


I don't know if I'll ever feel this way about anywhere else, don't know if I'll ever live anywhere for as long (although allowing for uni and living it Wolves it's probably only been about 17 years....) but I know what there are certain things that just seem to come together and sing in my mind. There are so many layers of memories associated with each place and each walk both adds another layer and refreshes the old ones.

The house is the same, new things in it of course but essentially still the same house where I remember sitting on the pearl-divers trunk in the corner of the living-room on the day we moved in. I had a moving bag containing a box of Maltesers (big treat) and Puffin's Stories for Seven Year Olds (I was five) with a Shirley Hughes illustration on the cover.

It's good to be back, tensions I didn't realise I had all fell away during that walk home.

Now I am going to play some cheesy Neopets games until my mum and sister get back from work (Dad's watching golf downstairs so I'm leaving him in peace) and then Emily will probably help me set up bits of my new pc.

I'm going to drag Emily around with her camera tomorrow and get her to take lots of pictures of things and places that I thought I'd forgotten but that my heart remembered.

Marbles in my brain

That was a goooooooood night....

But today I feel a little groggy. I dunno why, I drank exactly the same amount as I did when I went out with Campbelli before. I think it might have something to do with the fact I still had half my last big bottle of Stella left when Katie called the cab and I had to drink it fast.

But I had a good night, and we're going to do it all again in two weeks!




(I've just seen what Esme was doing in the background of that second picture. She eats her food like that cat in the adverts, fishing it out of the bowl with her paw then eating it.)

Saturday night with Campbelli and Katie W

We are calling a cab soon, but so far this evening has involved talking about sex, men, clothes, holidays and more sex.

They've both read (and raved) over this blog too.

But the quote of the night has to be:

Don't tell a girl who's 50-50 that. You know I so would - Campbelli

I'll leave you guessing on that one....

G'night!

Tiring week

It's been a long week this week. One of the quirks of the rota means that I do 4 days, then have a Sunday off, then do 5 days. Add in the fact I was up early on Sunday and it means I'm knackered!

Quote of the week came from Campbelli after I had an idea for a dumpbin display:

"You've just had the best idea that I've had all day!"

I did have a bit of luck with my train ticket home. I'd been expecting to pay £30+ for a ticket but managed to get one for just £13.50! That will take me all the way home to sunny Billericay with the only changes being the tube. The timetable thing reckons that it'll only take a few hours, I'm catching the 12.05 train and then should be in Billericay by 15.26 apparently. I doubt it though.

I'd just like to say that it's so nice to have been added to visitors links.
Especially to be described as "Vigorous" by Overnight Editor. Thanks guys, I feel all warm and loved.

I'm going out with Campbelli again tomorrow. She's going to crash here for the night too so I have to make her up a bed and attempt to keep it cat free so she doesn't sneeze all night. Katie W is also coming out with us now that she's back from uni for the holidays. It's so nice seeing the kids again. We were going to try to recruit Matt too but he's away for the weekend so we don't get to flirt outrageously with him. I'm sure there'll be plenty of other candidates there though.

I'm finally getting used to having the house to myself. I mean, I was spending so much time here alone even before we split up, but it's different knowing that I'm definately alone for the night. I moved the bedroom round last week and it's been lovely to sleep in a proper bed again.

I'm going to check my email and then I think I might go to bed.

Exciting News...

EMILY GOT READING TICKETS!!!

Ok, so not MY exciting news, but still exciting.

My only exciting news is that my next set of half-leather bound DiscWorld hardbacks arrived so now I have 15 beautiful DiscWorld books sitting on their own special shelf. They're almost certainly never going to be read as I have copies of all the books, but they look damn good.

Right, work...

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Well, sort of.

I went back to bed after the rather eventful Australian Grand Prix. I don't have to get up that early again until October and the Chinese one.

Then when I eventually got up again I did some laundry, washing-up, 2 lots of 15 minutes in the kitchen, 15 minutes in the living room, hoovered right through downstairs and then mopped through to remove the last traces of the enormous amounts of mud that Phoenix managed to leave behind him. Now my house is shiny and nice and MINE!

After all that I remembered to have some lunch (I keep forgetting to eat) and spent the rest of the afternoon lying on my nice big bed listening to Robbie Williams, snuggling with the cats and reading David Eddings.

Once again I haven't really done any of my March Things. I've read all three Travelling Pants books, the 11 Stephanie Plum books (and the Xmas novella too), 8 Tamora Pierce books and 5 David Eddings books (The Belgariad series, about to start the Mallorean series). But no Catcher or Great Expectations, let alone S&A's reviews.

I've done a bit of the footstool, but I've only really done any work in it in the last week. Before that I wasn't in the mood to work on a present for Phoenix's grandmother so I've been doing the Desperate Housewife one instead. I've done all the coloured bits and I've started on the backstitched outlines now. I will post photos to show where I've got to, but not until after Easter when I get my new shiny PC (as this one is Phoenix's, but he's letting me hang onto it until my parents bring me back here with my new Dell one).

Now I shall watch Mayo, see what colour my hair dries as (new hair dye) and do some more work on that footstool.

Bleh

Am I "several shades of crazy"? (as Campbelli would say)

After all, why else would I have hauled myself out of my nice snuggly bed to watch "a load of cars going round in circles" at 5am...

(The round in circles quote comes from my assistant manager Chris - not a motorsport fan)

It is nice to log on to MSN and see that my sister is online though. Reassures me that it's genetic at least!

Oooh, they're about to start. Who'll crash first?

Montoya spun before he got to the grid and then Fisichella stalled so new formation lap....that'll be Trulli spinning and clouting Coulthard, Massa's gone into the wall after a moment with Klien (who likes making people crash), and Montoya trying to take Raikkonen out yet again. Re-start.

This is why I get up so bloody early...

Working Saturday

I'm never sure whether I enjoy working Saturdays or not.

I love the fact that I work with such a great bunch of people that there is always at least one point when I am crying with laughter (3 times today - partly due to Phil putting rubber bands round his forehead and then getting them stuck). I love that there is always one conversation that leaves you going "huh? How did we start talking about otters?".

I hate the fact that you seem to get all the nutters and lazy people. The people who will ask you where a book is and then when you point it out on the browser behind them seem to expect you to walk round the counter and get it for them, rather than them stepping across 6 inches and picking it up themselves. I hate the people who walk into the edge of the tables (cos it's only a big black table covered in books - sooo invisible!) and knock the stock off it and just walk away, or worse kick it underneath. The lady who did this today at least had the grace to look ashamed when I asked her not to kick the books about (from my position on the other side of the table where I was tidying). As for the people who lie books on the top of the shelf and then knock them down the back....

*sigh* stupid people, they just seem to be everywhere on a Saturday. They manage not to see any of the 5 million posters advertising our 3-4-2 on all kids books and then get all snotty at the till when we tell them they can get another book free. Hello! We're doing you a favour Mr. I-Can't-Be-Arsed-To-Pay-Attention-To-My-Surroundings! We are telling you that you can have a free book!

As for the confusion that ensues from our "Up to Half Price" offer....
"So is this one half price?"
"No, that one has £4 off"
"But it says half price on the shelf"
"No, it says UP to half price. Some books are half price, others just have a few pounds off"
"Oh, so how much is it?"

I do love my job, I do, I do. I work with the best people in the world, and rarely an hour goes by without us finding something to laugh at (except on changeover day). I love some of the customers too. The regulars who always ask how we are, the people who are polite, all of that. I could just do without the muppets that we get in there too.

This wasn't supposed to be a rant....

I don't have to work a Saturday for a month now, as my next one is Easter Saturday and I'm on holiday that day. But I will be here so may well have to pop in with my folks just to see how everything is going....

In other news: I have a bedroom again. Phoenix moved almost all of his stuff out yesterday and today and yesterday evening I turned our bedroom into MY bedroom. I cleaned and rearranged and rearranged some more. Then I slept in there last night and it was groovy. I have backache from sleeping on a proper bed though, but the cats thought it was great having a big comfy bed to sleep on - they still slept on me though.

I watched Howl's Moving Castle on Wednesday, and again last night. It is one of my favourite books and although the film story is very different it captures the ideas and feelings perfectly. I just wish it had won the Oscar for animation (sorry Wallace).

Right, I should probably eat something and then go to bed, I need to be up for the Australian Grand Prix starting at 5am....

"It's a nightmare in a bubble car"

(If you watch Moto GP on the BBC then you'll understand that quote, if not, you'll have to remain confused.)

Well...life's still not being uneventful.

It'll be one month tomorrow since Phoenix said "I love you, but I can't be with you right now. I need space".

Not the best thing to say to your wife of seven months as she is going through her second miscarriage. But I didn't stab him, I didn't even throw anything at him.

I haven't posted about it before partly because I only told Emily last week "He's fucking what!? He needs fucking space!! I'm going to chop him up into little pieces!" and also because I'm still processing it.

Bod kindly let me swop my brand-new copy of Eating Well When You're Expecting for It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken, and I read through that which helped a bit.

Since then I've been...getting on with it really. I'm kinda excited about living on my own, but at other times it scares me. I'm worried about the fact I'll have to really watch where my money goes so I can afford everything, but I'm happy that I earn enough so that I can contemplate staying here.

He hasn't moved out yet, that happens next weekend. But he's been staying away as much as he can, he's usually back for a couple of nights in the middle and then the evenings are normal. Random chat about our days and that. It's stopped being odd that I don't feel like I have to immediately jump to get him dinner - in fact it's great not feeling like I have to do anything for him. Anything I do, I choose to do and the only person it affects is me.

Everyone at work has been lovely - lots of kneecapping offers - and I went out on the town with Campbelli and her friend Steph last night and had a very good time dancing like a crazy lady. This morning I had a small headache (more like lack of sleep than too much beer) and my calves hurt from the dancing. I was impressed last night that my feet didn't hurt, my knees hurt first!

Today I am chilling and watching Moto GP and Superbikes later. I have changed all the clocks I need to change (did most when I got in last night, left the video til the morning though), done a load of washing, I've got a little bit of washing-up to do but other than that my time is my own.

It's so nice knowing that I'm just accountable to myself right now. That if I choose to just eat mashed potatoes (with mustard) and spend all day on the computer, I can do this without being made to feel bad for not being more "productive".

I am still accountable to the cats of course. They must be fed at certain times (and don't you just know it) and if Foley wants to sleep in the middle of my pillow then he must, I'm happy just to curl up on the edges and listen to his purr.

Welcome Richie Fingers!

Richie from work has just got himself a shiny new internet connection and today asked for my blog address so he could see what I'd been writing about him.

I protested that I hadn't posted about the time last week when he stabbed himself in the head with a stanley knife because he forgot he had it in his hand when he answered the phone.
I also confirmed that I very rarely post about things he would be interested in, such as saxa-ma-phones, Rik Mayall, pink shirts or the best places to hide from your assistant manager when you've managed to insult him yet again.

He still wanted the address.

So just for him - my favourite picture of him taken at our works party last year. Richie is the one on the right, and Matt is on the left wearing Richies glasses.



They were both a teeny bit drunk.

I love bills!

Well, not all the time. But today I do!

I got the council tax demand today...and I've already paid £250 of next years bill! I'd been overpaying very slightly, rounding it up from £91 to £100 and adding in the fact that I automatically pay in Feb and March (when I don't need to), I am nicely ahead for next year. This will help lots with next years bills! I'm ahead on the water bill slightly too, so reduced payments there as well. The only one that I'm not is on the gas bill, but that evens itself out over the year so nothing to worry about there!

It's so nice to feel in control of my money for once.

It was helped by getting my student loan statement too. I don't have to start paying them back until my gross monthly income is over £2700 and since it's not even £1000 at the moment (bookselling is a job you do for the love, not the money) I can defer for yet another year, and probably for quite a while to come. I did get lucky with this, being the first year that got student loans at uni. This means that while people who started just a year after me are paying theirs back already, I don't have to worry about mine.
I do spare a thought for Yorkshire Lass who will have hers to pay back from next year or so. Then again, if I had finished my degree (Molecular and Cellular Biology) and gone on to get the type of job I always thought I'd do, I'd probably be paying it off already.

At the moment (apart from that student loan which doesn't really count) I am debt free. Sure I'm over my overdraft by about £20 right now, but I have no credit cards, loans, or HP agreements. It's nice.

It's nice to know that once I've paid rent, council tax, utilities, TV license and internet - then the rest of the money is mine. Admittedly it's mine for food, cat food, clothing, toiletries and about £20 for frivolity - but I feel in control of my money for the first time in a long time, in fact, possibly the first time ever.

Sadness

Some of you might have been wondering exactly why I had a weeks holiday off work, went back for five days and then had another week off. Bad timing really. I found out I was pregnant again at the beginning of Feb and part of the weeks holiday was to relax totally and hopefully reduce my stress levels so as to make miscarriage more unlikely.

Best laid plans...I was off last week due to my second miscarriage.

I'm coping, I promise. I spent that whole week in a kind of daze, but now I'm doing mostly good. I think it's cos I was only just coming to terms with the fact I was pregnant again and then I wasn't. Unlike last time where I'd had 2 months to get used to it, this time it was only 3 weeks.

That's why my Yahoo Avatar was crying in a bad pink blanket for a while, but she's now all dressed up and ready to get on with things.

Life sucks sometimes, but hey - I'd sooner be here-and-now where I can be high and low, rather than back at uni where there where no highs or lows, just everything the same.

I may rant about it at a later date, and it goes partway to explaining some of the very odd posts from last week.

The sun is shining, I've been swopping emails with an old friend, I have a purring cat on my lap, three bad films to watch and a new box of chocolates from Hotel Chocolat ready to be scoffed. Life is good.

Word Cloud

I got this from Rachel from North London's blog and thought it was a funky idea.



It's gone a little grainy because I made it bigger in a vain attempt to make some of the tiny words more visible.

It's odd to see that my mothers name doesn't turn up at all and that the only friends name to turn up is that of Mab, who I haven't really been friends with for 18 months or so now.

I'm also shocked that Pagan, Witch and Magic didn't show at all! I guess that although they are things that are always in my mind, they just never get into the blog.

(Can you tell I've been off work for another week and I'm having a day of finding stuff to post?)

Those resolutions...

I haven't really had any resolutions for Febuary, and January's ones did mostly go to pot with everything that was going on.

So.

January:

Book to read:
Great Expectations - Nope, still stuck about a quarter through. I am going to finish it though.

Habit to keep:
Clean contact lenses nightly - out of 31 nights, I managed 20.

Book to write review on:
Swallows and Amazons - Not done.

Cross-stitch project to do:
Oranges and Lemons - FINISHED!!! Now I just need to find out how much framing will cost.

----------

For February I had intended to read Catcher in the Rye (which I haven't started), eat one extra piece of fruit a day (I know I managed a few days but lost track), write a review on Swallowdale (nope) and to start work on the footstool.

The footstool is going well though:




So I shall not get mad at myself for not doing the things I meant to - I did other things instead, some of them not nice, but things that needed to be done.

I shall put March into the sidebar and carry on from today.

Flat Hair

I had my hair cut on Monday and I'm just recovering. I don't get it cut very often, prefer to spend money on books - but since I hadn't had it cut since the day before my wedding, I figured it was time.

So I took along the photo from my profile to show the girl what I wanted, and she did this:




All I can say is ergh!

Books and Insomnia

I put a post up on the Abebooks Book Sleuth forum the other day to find a book that I've been looking for for years and years. A genius person found the title for me and I managed to buy it for the grand total of 57p! (& postage).

This then inspired me to pop onto Green Metropolis to see what I could find on there and I had enough funds to order myself three books on there! The book I had been looking for originally had two stories in it and I managed to get the second one from GM and the other two books are two Mary Stewart books that I've been half-heartedly looking for. They were ones that I wasn't going out of my way to track down, but that I'd buy when I saw them if you know what I mean.

So 'The Sixth Seal' arrived yesterday (from Abebooks) and I demolished it in one sitting and this morning 'Madam, will you Talk?' arrived and is my planned book for this afternoon.

=========================

I haven't been sleeping well recently for various reasons and so have been keeping very odd hours. The last couple of days I have been sleeping in 4-5 hour segments about 10 hours apart which means that I've been watching very bad tv at 4 in the morning quite a lot. I've also been watching LOTR-FOTR in bits as I've been putting it on and falling asleep then going back to the last bit I saw when I wake up.

I read Books, Baguettes & Bedbugs yesterday and then popped onto Wikipedia to read a bit about the shop. Going onto Wiki was a mistake....

Between 1am and 4am this morning, these are a few of the subjects that I read about, pretty much in the order that they somehow linked together:

Shakespeare & Co.
Rive Gauche
Picasso
Museum of Modern Art
Starry Night (I'm wearing my Starry Night shirt today because of it)
Don McLean
David Crosby
Neil Young
Terry Pratchett (don't ask how he links to Neil Young, I can't explain it)
DiscWorld
Carnegie Medal (It's nice to see how many of these I have read - makes up for not reading any Booker ones!)
Lucy M. Boston
The Manor
Charmed
Paranormal Television
Buffy
My So-Called Life
Joan of Arcadia
Veronica Mars
LivingTV

At this point I started going round in circles and ended the night by reading all sorts of odd things about diegesis, Icelandic language, and monophthongs.

Happy Things

Just found the list of happy things that my mum sent me in the summer. Can't remember if I posted it then, but it's worth reposting.

Chocolate cake

Andy

Cats

Harry Potter book 15

Barry's teeth

Geraniums

French lunches

Pamimouses

Sunshine

Bubbles

an even bigger chocolate cake

Magic books

Ahhhhh...happy things.

Energy

I've just seen a British Gas advert where they're saying that you can get your gas bill frozen so that you pay the same price for the next however many years. There are probably people thinking "Great, this way I can avoid their 22% price rise".

The price rise starts on March 1st....the offer applies to the March 1st prices.

How many people have noticed this I wonder? They're certainly not making it obvious (although I didn't expect them too).

I'm not with British Gas, in fact I don't know who our gas supplier is (I'll have to find out). I know that it is someone who is eco-friendly(ish) though.

We're with Good Energy for our electricity though and I haven't noticed paying the extra £2 a month compared to nPower, plus I feel better for being with them - it gives me a small eco-friendly glow.

One day I want to have a house that has its own solar panels, mini turbine and anything else that will help it to be self sufficient in terms of energy.

It's a slightly more attainable house wish than that for the giant old fashioned library room complete with studded leather sofas, book ladders and antique globes.

*grin*

I rented Matinee from ScreenSelect a few weeks ago as it was a film I used to love (cos I fancied Simon Fenton) and because it never turned up on Sky Movies.

It's on Sky right now!!!!

Horoscopes

Quickie: Don't test your stamina now. Eat well, get plenty of rest and treat yourself right.
Overview: There are certain qualities about you that are incandescent, but you're too stuck dwelling on your so-called negatives that you can't see them. Discover what it is that makes you special and worthwhile.

If the doorknob doesn't want to turn today, KATE, don't force it. You will only succeed in breaking the key in half. Perhaps you just need to try another door. If things don't flow smoothly into place, then they probably weren't meant to be. Life shouldn't have to be a struggle. Our job is to be happy. Remember that the next time you find yourself in a long line, view the situation as a relaxing period of rest.

Library Borrowing

They've announced the most borrowed authors from libraries and shock horror, Catherine Cookson has dropped out of the Top Ten list.
There's a lovely bit at the bottom when they say that peoples tastes must be changing. I don't think it's all about the tastes changing, more about the people using the libraries.

I mean, how many of the little old ladies that were reading Catherine Cookson five years ago are still going to be reading her. Partly because she died in 1998 and hence a lack of new books. Partly because...well they're little old ladies and there will be a certain decrease in that generations use of libraries as that generation dies.

Library bosses should be looking to the Baby Boomers to see what reading material will be requested. May I suggest consulting John, a part-time library assistant at Basildon Library in Essex to see what borrowers of the future will be after.
Recently recommended titles include Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear and
The Athenian Murders by Jose Carlos Somoza plus anything by
Boris Akunin, Carl Hiaasen and Tess Gerritsen.

Stolen from my sister because it's all sooooo true!

How you know you're a child of the 90s:
1) 10p Mr Frosty Ice Pops on long summer days!
2) Gordon the Gopher!
3) You could do or tried to do the Prodigy step. 'You're no good 4me....'
4) You owned or longed for an Adidas three stripe tracksuit
5) You owned a compilation tape with TOP TUNES such as "Mr Vain","What is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer" and 'How Bizarre, How Bizarre"
6) Girls thought Blue Mascara was cool!
7) Girls actually fancied Gary Barlow more than Robbie Williams
8) The Racoons!(nuff said)
9) You owned a pair of Nike Air Max, and wore them to death
10) Mr Motivator (What ever happened to him?)
11) Running on the spot dancing!
12) You wore leggings/cycling shorts with long t-shirts
13) You owned a Bennetton, NafNaf, sweater shop jumper or waistcoat
14) Girls owned scrunchies in an array of colours and tacky headbands with their names written on in thick glitter
16) You bought Smash Hits for the song lyrics and the immense amount of stickers that you would stick everywhere!
17) You had a pen pal
18) You could only watch the Simpson's on sky
19) On a Saturday afternoon you watched Catchphrase, Gladiators,Generation Game, Noels House Partyand then Casualty
20) You taped the Pepsi Chartshow on radio one and tired in vain to pause the tape before the annoying guy talked and ruined the whole thing.
21) Cans of Coke were 25p
22) 10p Space Raiders Crisps
23) A grey Fruit of the Loom jumper was a must have
24) Sharkie & George were the crimebusters of the sea
25) Puffa jackets
26) You used the line "it's a free country" every day
27) The Sky Sports Blimp!
28) Impulse body spray for girls
29) Hooch Alcoholic Lemonade (where's it gone?!)
30) 'Don't forget your toothbrush', 'TFI' and Big Breakfast
31) You had at least one troll
32) You know the dance to Macarena and Saturday Night. You also tried to scat like Scatman John! Bi bat ba ba da bo...
33) You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie & Sharni got together!
34) You watched Byker Grove 'ha ha ha whatcha laughin at!' the themesong ending :) and saw PJ get shot in the eye with a paintball!
35) PJ and Duncan not Ant and Dec! Dodgy Pop Not Dodgy Presenting!
36) Shellsuits & bumbags!
37) You longed to live in Beverley Hills 90210
38) Home and Away was a prime time ITV programe watched by millions
39) You owned a Spice Girls album
40) Fruit salads and black jacks!
41) Strike it lucky on a sunday night with Michael Barrymore when he was straight & married
42) Chain letters
43) You had fake ID
44) You remember Todd Landers in Neighbours
45) You religiously watched Saved by the Bell on a Saturday morning!
46) You more than likely lost/nearly lost a wobbly tooth on a wham bar!!
47) CK one (probably the fake one from the market)
48) Going Live, then Live and Kicking was the place to be on a Saturday Morning - you know you remember the number 0181 811 8181
49) You knew every word to the theme tune from Fresh Prince of Bel Air
50) You collected Premier League Stickers and did swops at playtime
51) Girls wore crappy lipstick such as - coffee shimmer, heather shimmer and birthday suit!
52) You wore kickers and wallaby's with the tags hanging from them
53) You thought saying - "I know you are, you said you are but what am I" to every cuss that that came your way!
54) "Your mum!!!!"
55) girls thought black tights and white ankle socks looked kool!

You loved the 90's!!

Apart from the designer label ones (like the Air Max and Kicker's things) I do have to admit to most of those. My favourite Rimmel lipstick was indeed Heather Shimmer, I used to tape the Radio One chart show (no adverts) and not only did I wear long t-shirts with leggings - I had a particularly natty combo of purple leggings, and purple check shirt to be worn with green socks and a green t-shirt (and naturally the same combo with the colours reversed). I'm sure my mother has a picture somewhere as I know I wore the green and purple combo on a trip to the Science Museum once....

Hey, I was happy at the time! You should ask my sister about the hair scrunchies made of sweets that she used to wear....

Freedom of speech...without threats.

I've been reading about the Muhammad cartoons row for a while now. It's a difficult situation really. I do think the paper should have respected the fact that depictions of Muhammad are considered disrespectful, but then setting fire to the Danish and Norwegian embassies in Syria is acceptable? Waving banners threatening murder is acceptable too?

Ok, I think the paper should have published those cartoons. Denmark is not a Muslim country and (I think) it has quite a low Muslim population compared to other European countries. I'm not so keen on the republication of the cartoons in other papers and I'm glad that they have not yet been published in the UK.

But protesters waving placards saying they will set off more bombs to show that they are upset about the cartoons showing Muhammad as a terrorist? Excuse me? Surely the best way to say "Muhammad was not a terrorist" is not to say "We will bomb you for showing this".

I am disgusted that no arrests were made at that protest, and the fact that on the Saturday two people were arrested for trying to cause a breach of the peace because they had copies of the pictures, why not arrest the people with the banners threatening more death and violence to innocent people? That to me denotes a lot more of a breach of the peace - and it certainly would have been a breach of the peace if I'd been there to get at them. (Although I'd probably have been arrested for inciting religious hatred).

As for the "inciting religious hatred" thing. Surely waving banners like that counts? They are inciting hatred against people in general - white, black, brown, Christian, Muslim, Jew, Sikh, Pagan or Atheist. The bombers in the summer did not discriminate about who they killed. The next lot of bombers probably won't either.

I believe in Freedom of Speech and I'm aware that this means freedom of ALL speech. But there's a difference between freedom of speech and publicly stating that innocent people should be murdered to prove that the founder of your religion was not a murderer.

(P.S. I understand that the Met police were in a very difficult situation during the protests and I'm not accusing them of being bad at their jobs or anything. I'm also aware of how much worse the protests would possibly have gotten if people had started being arrested. But I would like to see better planning in future.)

Bleh

Good job I've got a day off today as I'm completely wiped out. I have a mean cough and sore throat and I just hope that's all it stays as.

Thank goodness for internet shopping. The lovely Sainsbury's just delivered our shopping so I can eat something nutritious while I flake out on the sofa and watch Buffy. Not having a car means that shopping either has to be done in carriable portions - which is fine usually, but for days like today which entail cat litter and washing power and other heavy things, internet shopping rules.

Although I'm so knackered I've only put the fridge and freezer stuff away so that means Foley is perched on a four pack of orange juice watching me type this. Sily cat, he likes sitting on things. Even if it's just a book on the floor he'll sit on that rather than the floor so he's slightly higher up.

Bleh, need to sleep. Laters.

I did have some deep thoughts...

...but they've all evaporated again!

So instead I will share a nice thing and a funny thing.

Nice thing: I was reading the Essex page on the BBC and followed a link to this article. I thought to myself, there can't be two European schools in Essex... and there aren't! Well done to the Anglo European School for getting into the Good Schools Guide. They're a new addition this year and I'm very proud of my old school and the people that have got it there. It's a great tribute to Mr Reed who sadly died suddenly last year. I'm sure he'd have loved it.

Funny thing:

It's time for a fashion tweak -- a small change here or there to keep things fresh.

That's part of my horoscope for today, and today I wore jeans for about the first time in 2/3 years! Last time I can clearly remember wearing them was the day we moved up here in 2002, and after circumstances in April/May 2003 (Georges and my Grandad's deaths, and me breaking my arm) meant I comfort ate and put on two stone (get up at 8am, open bottle of beer and tube of Pringles, play on computer for 15 hours straight, repeat for 2 weeks) my jeans would no longer fit and I kept talking myself out of buying new ones. But last week I went and bought some £9 jeans from M&S and today I wore them for the first time. It was weird, my legs felt all funny and I kept looking down at them to check they were mine!
I will wear them again sometimes, but not everyday, it was so nice having people go "Wow! You've got legs!". lololol

Right, I'm hungry (after feeling sick all day), lets eat something nutritious. Where's those Pringles....

There's a very scary man...

...in my house. He's all hairy and sitting next to me playing on the PS2. Hang on a minute...it's my husband! This is the first Saturday that we've spent together since the 10th of December. It's quite frightening knowing that I get to spend all day with him, thank goodness for computers or we'd actually have to have a conversation!

I actually get him for TWO days as the wrestling training is cancelled tomorrow due to the Wolves/Man U game. I can't remember the last time we spent the whole weekend together...think it was the summer last time.

I've been doing all sorts of things this week, but still haven't finished my cross-stitch project or read any more of Great Expectations. Think I'll have to work on those later. I've been thinking about doing some studying with The Open University. I like the idea of doing a few different courses (but I'm not going to try to do An Introduction to the Humanities again, I've started it twice!). I think the most likely courses will be Introducing Astronomy, Understanding Human Nutrition or Modelling the Climate. I do quite fancy the Discovering Science course but I think I'll start small. I also think that doing this course will possibly help in the future too! lolololol

In the last week I've had all sorts of deep thoughts about subjects including books, people, cats, trees, cars, housework, clothing, food, advertising, writing and various other things. However, these musings usually occur on the walk home and by the time I get online the coherent bits have blown away like smoke. I'll try for some deep thoughs on here one day soon, probably.

Right, where's breakfast?

Toe-day...

(I know, I know, baaaaaad pun).

Ahem, today my toe is....painful but not purple. Which is a shame really as it just hurts without looking spectacular. My boots fitted without a problem and Nurofen got me through the day at work.

Now I have painted all my toenails pink after soaking my feet for a little and it's all good.

Hmmm...

I think I've broken a toe.

I had a small collision this morning with the mattress on the landing (where it's been since we got our new bed in August) when one of the cats jumped on it and shifted it sideways as I was about to walk past.

The three small toes on my left foot are hurting like crazy, and while I think the little toe and middle toe are ok the second one in has gone a little purple.

I hope I can still fit my boots on tomorrow or work could be a problem as I have no other shoes!

OMG

I'm in love with a cushion.

Yay! Another day off!

That makes work sound awful, when in fact it's been quite fun. Hectic, but fun. But I still want more time to be at home and do home-type things. Now where did I put those winning lottery numbers....

I haven't been hugely productive today, unlike Sunday where I cleaned right through downstairs. Today I have done some washing, stripped the bed and thrown away a whole black bag full of junk that was tidily piled on the bookshelf (and really didn't look like a whole black bagful when it was on the bookshelf).

Also today I've been watching lots of Buffy. Buffy puncuates lots of odd points of my life, from watching it at odd points at uni, to watching the last episode snuggled up with Phoenix. Sky show various episodes throughout the day on Sky One and Sky Two and I tend to stick it on when I have a day off. I have series 1 and series 3 on video (very bad quality) and the dvd sets are something I've been meaning to buy for I don't know how long. I shall keep them on my wishlist with the Charmed DVD's and buy them when those numbers turn up.

Lovely, lovely Pami sent me my birthday pressie - a Cath Kidston needle-case. It may not sound exciting to you, but I LOVE it! It's all Cath Kidstony and cute and flowery and useful!

Yes, I know. I want to be a housewife in a shabby chic style house and watch Buffy and Charmed all day long. Hey, I'd have more time to update my blog, even though my sister will laugh at me.

Tired

I'm not used to working five days in a row, I do it one week out of every four at the moment and I'm always wiped out by the end of the week. If I did it more often then I'd get used to it I guess, plus this week I've still had the last dregs of the nasties I was fighting off before Xmas that then clobbered me last week.

Dunno what I'm going to be working the next few weeks. Poor old Campbelli has managed to tear her calf muscle at the back of one of her knees and so she's at home watching Emmerdale and other bad daytime tv for the next few weeks. This means that next week I'll be working Sunday with Bod and Chris is going to be reworking the rotas to make everything fit.

Poor little Campbelli (who may well be reading this in her quest for freedom from daytime tv). We miss her. (We do, honest, work's not the same without your filthy laugh!)

In other news Leyton Orient kicked some arse last Sunday - I was listening to the match after I posted and sending texts out when goals were scored and penalties missed.
As for Celebrity Big Brother I've managed to mostly escape watching it. I watched them all go in last week and I've seen about 2 of the evening shows but that's about it. I do feel sorry for Jodie Marsh though. Ok so she's famous for dressing in not a lot, but I so prefer her to "How big can I make my breasts go" Jordan. I found out the other day that Jodie Marsh is not only from Brentwood (where Phoenix's folks live) and went to Brentwood School (posh and private, Phoenix didn't go there thankfully) but she's also only four days older than me. So the people who bullied her at school are probably the people that certain people who bullied me at school were friends with (and mentioned every five minutes - "My friends from Brentwood School...", "Oh yes, Sophie, she's at Brentwood School". So just fuck off there and join them and leave me in peace!)
Ahem... anyway. I like her. She's doing stuff she wants to do and standing up for herself and if the "nation" prefers a transvestite (he soooo is) in a gorilla fur coat then it just proves once again how different I am from the "nation" (probably made up of all the bullies from both our schools).

Ranting? Me?

I just have never had time for people who spend their time trying to prove that they're better than you. So what you come in with your boyfriend in his Gap gear, wearing a mini skirt over your perma-tan and look down on me as I sell you a copy of Sharon Osbourne. I'm the one who gets to go home and snuggle with my husband while you have to go spend money you don't have on making yourself look "beautiful" so your Gap dressed sleazebag doesn't leave you for a younger, oranger girl. Not to mention the whole "I'm a better Pagan than you are cos I handmake everything and don't own a tv" thing.

lolololololololololololol

Go enjoy your Saturday, I'm enjoying mine!

Edited: Just nipped onto Mark's Blog and saw his comments about Jodie too! I also managed to find her blog via the fabulously useful Wikipedia.

Drool...

Phoenix is doing a wrestling show tonight so I suggested that I make a casserole and leave it in the oven on low so he could have some when he got in.

So, take one packet casserole mix, add tinned potatoes, tinned carrots, 1 medium red onion (chopped roughly) and some Tesco Value stewing beef (roll on payday).

Cook on gas mark 4 for 2 hours. Fill this time by writing in your blog and then being surprised when dinner is ready.

Eat with plenty of dribbling.

Turn oven down to gas mark 1 and put rest of casserole in to simmer until husband gets home at stupid o'clock in the morning in need of a nice meal.

(I would like to point out that ideally I would add some red wine and mushrooms and use fresh carrots and potatoes as well as slightly better quality beef, but it's a few days til payday so I used what we had in the cupboards!)

Monthly Goals

I've decided to add my monthly goals to the sidebar so that I won't keep chopping and changing them and so that I'm vaguely held accountable for saying yes I did them or no I didn't.

I took possession of some of the most beautiful notebooks in the world today. I'd ordered them before Xmas, some for me and some as gifts and I ordered them too late :-( But they're here now! I shall save one for a birthday instead of Xmas, and the other two I shall post as belated pressies instead.

The ones I got for myself are:

The foiled one, in the maxi unlined version,

The Morrocan Horses and the Indigo Sky Mares,

The Mirror Vine one.

They are even more beautiful in the "flesh" than seen on screen. I'm about to fill in my new diary and can't bear to use a biro in it yet so the turquoise ink fountain pen is out!

Memories....

...from last nights work do - I have some!

I limited myself to a couple of glasses of red wine at the restaurant and I was tipsy when we left, enough so I wasn't cold when we got outside, but not so much that I couldn't walk straight. Then at Blastoff I had a couple more drinks (and seemingly spend two hours just wandering around with Matt looking for other people).

Bod announced that it was all very Carry On Bookselling, Jamie flirted with everyone and I got Harriet and Tom pissed by topping up their wineglasses without them noticing.

But it was all jolly good fun and I even got a cab home (as ordered by both Phoenix and Matt - who escorted me home although it was completely out of his way) as opposed to deciding to walk back.

Due to the power cut we had on Friday (2 hours, we played Simpsons Monopoly by candlelight while listening to the wind up radio) and the fact I was out last night I had loads of emails, including these fabulous two.

FLYLADY: Clutter Scavenger Hunt; Under your Kitchen Sink
Our habit for January is keeping our kitchen sink clean and shiny.
When was the last time you looked under your sink? We are going to
grab a garbage can and start tossing.

Your Daily Horoscope Service
Discard those items from the past that really have no use for you anymore. Much as you like to surround yourself with objects of sentimental value, the time comes when it is necessary to look to the future, rather than dwell on the past. Time spent cleaning up and throwing out will release you from the past so that you can embrace the future...

Well I did the kitchen sink thing last week! I filled two blackbags with stuff from under there, including six tins of shoepolish, 40 watt lightbulbs, 2 old dustpan-and-brushes, and all sorts of random bits. This meant that I could fit all the cleaning stuff into a washing up bowl and fit some of our new kitchen gadgets in there until I sort out the worktops so they have homes.

But today, I am relaxing! I may do 15 minutes later on, but I am under orders to relax and recharge today.

Lurgy

Yes folks, I finally succumbed to the creeping lurgy.

I was too busy to be ill before xmas (work), too busy to be ill over xmas (family) and too busy to be ill over New Year (work). So naturally as soon as I have a couple of days off I'm straight on the Lemsip (I really want that mug now) and Buttercup syrup and I scare the cats everytime I sneeze.

I have just been cheered up by a notification email telling me about this very funny and true post on Mark Farley's Blog. The Da Vinci Code thing - soooo true, but we don't get the same class of religious nutters up here in Wolverhampton, just the man in the cowboy hat who thinks that Tim Henman losing at Wimbledon is a CIA plot.

I have been entertaining myself this morning by planning things I want to do this year.

These include reading one book a month that I wouldn't normally read (I think it's going to be Great Expectations this month), decluttering etc. a la FLYlady, and doing more cross-stitch as I get frustrated with the number of projects I plan to do that don't get done.

Projects planned for this year:

Finish the Oranges and Lemons cross stitch. I have to do the light orange at the top of the word 'Orange', do the ivy stuff on the right and backstitch round the words.

My main 'must-do' project is this footstool that I want to do for Rene as a birthday present. All the fabric and threads arrived today from Sew and So which means I can get started as soon as I finish the Oranges and Lemons one.

The other projects I want to do are mostly shown here. I got the fabric and thread for the Desperate/Domestic Zero/Hero ones too as they should be quick to do and I can do them in breaks from the footstool. The other ones will all just have to wait until I have time to do them!

Right, I'm off to watch French Kiss and finish that stitching!

Clicking round...

...on the BBC News site I found this story. I used to live in that road while I was in Canterbury (think it was Summer '99 until March '00). Can't tell from the picture if those houses were near the one I was in (no. 10), in fact all I can remember about the outside of my house (they all looked the same) was the fact it had a tree growing out the chimney - only a little one though.

I feel all blargh today again, yesterday was about the same but I made myself do things until I collapsed in a teary heap cos I was fed up. Today I am going to take it easier.

Baby steps!

Happy New Year!

Emily took this while we were opening pressies on the 25th, I'd just run out of Bucks Fizz.

Things here have been rather hectic for a while, what with all my silly shifts at work, trying to level up to 50 on WoW before going home for Xmas, going home, coming back and then more work.....

Roll on Tuesday when I have a day off!

Found a list of 100 things we didn't know this time last year on the BBC, lots of cool facts.

I bought myself French Kiss with some of my vouchers from Phoenix and intended to watch it tonight (he's at t'pub) but Love Actually turned out to be on so I'm watching that instead.

Now what's missing....

Oh yes, the all important list of presents received for Yule, Xmas and my birthday.

Well you're not getting the whole list, just my three favourite pressies (all purchased by the man I married).
1. A laptop. (Admittedly second-hand, but good enough for the stuff I needed it for).
2. £50 of vouchers - I've mostly bought books but did buy 2 films and CD too!
3. A HATSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!! I have wanted one for soooooooo long and now it's here and mine and Foley keeps climbing it!

Right, you should have enough here to keep you ticking over for a bit, I'm off to eat some chocolates, drink some very nice wine and watch my very soppy film.

Countdown - arrived by email but thought I'd post it here.

10 Things You Might Not Know About Me

1. I have a mole on the sole of my right foot (very useful when learning right from left).
2. The small scar by my left eye is from when I had German Measles.
3. I get addicted to things really easily (like eBay, Neopets and WoW).
4. I adore white fairy lights.
5. I like cooking.
6. I hate letting go of friendships and will do almost anything to make them work.
7. I have music in my head all the time.
8. I love going for early morning walks (even though I hate getting up early).
9. I invent bits of back-story for people in adverts and on tv shows.
10. The only hot drink I like is hot chocolate made with brown sugar.

Nine Places I've Visited

1. Various places in France (favourite holiday destination).
2. Avebury, Stonehenge, Nine Ladies and Stanton Drew.
3. Bahrain (well I was born there, does it count as a visit?).
4. London.
5. Southwold.
6. Portugal.
7. Spain.
8. Germany.
9. Penang.

Eight Ways to Win My Heart

1. Bring the title and author of the obsure book you're looking for.
2. Buy me some chocolate.
3. Make me laugh.
4. Be polite.
5. Enjoy my over-explanation of things.
6. Bring me a book I haven't read.
7. Do the washing up for me.
8. Be true to yourself.

Seven Things I want to do Before I Die

1. Travel round Ireland.
2. Drink Champagne in a Champagne vineyard.
3. Collect all the Chalet School books.
4. Live in the countryside.
5. Live by the sea.
6. Have a book published.
7. Have grandchidren.

Six Things I'm Afraid of

1. Burning.
2. Big spiders.
3. Jumping into water (can't jump into pools even).
4. Wandering round strange places in the dark (I have crap night vision).
5. People I love getting hurt.
6. Doorways.

Five Things I don't Like

1. Tomatoes.
2. Cat litter underfoot.
3. Light bulbs blowing as I flick the switch.
4. Living in a town where I can't get to green spaces.
5. Getting up early for work.

Four Ways to Turn Me Off

1. Lie - to my face or behind my back.
2. Be two-faced.
3. Be rude for no reason.
4. Act like you're better than everyone else.

Three Things I Do Everyday

1. Read a book.
2. Hug my husband.
3. Spin round in circles til I'm dizzy.

Two Things that Make Me Happy

1. My husband.
2. My kitties.

One thing On My Mind Right Now

1. Making peppermint creams for work.

Easy like Sunday morning

I've had a nice restful day so far today.

My To-Do list includes washing the kitchen floor (done), writing some cards (done) and watching Finding Neverland and The Magic Roundabout that I got from ScreenSelect ages ago but haven't had time to watch yet.

I've managed half of The Magic Roundabout but then the PS2 won't read the disc any more so I'm finding some freeware to attempt to watch the second half on the PC instead.

I've just finished watching Finding Neverland though and I really enjoyed it. I'd been asking Phoenix to watch it with me for ages and he's kept saying no. I'm glad I watched it by myself in the end as he really wouldn't have enjoyed it, not enough wrestling or fight scenes.

I've then been onto Wikipedia to find out some background bits about the real story and came across a lovely page telling me all abput things that have happened on my birthday.

December 27th.

It's kinda cool to know I'm the same age as Spain's Democratic leadership and that I could be the reincarnation of Houari Boumedienne.

Right, let's boot up that Magic Roundabout and get on with my cross-stitch (not very seasonal I know, but I'm planning on starting a wintery picture of St. Basil's Basilica once I've got the threads)

Very Random

I've been singing all sorts of things all day and thinking I should post the lyrics in here.

This is the one I'm singing at the moment.


Train whistle blowing makes a sleepy noise
Underneath the blankets, go all the girls and boys
Heading from the station, out along the bay
All bound for Morningtown, many miles way

Sarah’s at the engine, Tony rings the bell
Mary swings the lantern to show that all is well
Rocking, rolling, riding, out along the bay
All bound for morning town, many miles away

Maybe it is raining, where our train will ride
But all the little travelers are snug and warm inside
Somewhere there is sunshine, somewhere there is rain
Somewhere there is Morningtown, many miles away.


Don't know why it's in my head, it just is.

Feeling Festive

Well I got him to get me down the tree and the lights and then he laughed at me detangling lights and getting hyper. I found myself "Miracle on 34th Street" to watch while I decorated the tree and stuck strings of fairy lights up all over the living room.

Then we watched football and the FA Cup draw (Fulham away, could be interesting) and now he's gone off into the front room to play with some secret christmas project and I've been WoWing and watching soppy movies.

It's been a pretty good weekend really, even though he was at work yesterday. It was good really as I got to play house and get it all shiny for today and then today we got to snuggle in a glittery (it fell off the baubles) cat-filled room.

Extra: Digging through boxes yesterday made me reminisce and so I gave into temptation and looked a few folks up on Friends Reunited. It's good to see folks doing well and in places I'd always hoped they'd be. Good luck with the wedding plans guys and well done on the Euro win last season.

Cleaning Demon

Ok, well I'm not a complete cleaning demon, but I did just *blitz* the living room (which took a whole 5 minutes thanks to FlyLady) as I decided I wanted to put the tree up.

But after nearly falling off the ladder attempting to get into the loft I went in search of fairy lights instead, thinking that we'd left some in the front room. (I'll get Phoenix to get me the tree later).

I din't find any fairy lights, but I decided to clear through one of my boxes of old stuff. I have... NO! I HAD 5 boxes of stuff and now I have 4 and a box that is practically empty.

I threw away a load of OU stuff from when I tried to start it when living with Jon, a load of notes from uni, shopping lists and all sorts of other junky bits that related to time at uni. I threw away three photos in frames (one of which was a LoveHearts frame that had gone mouldy) as the frames weren't my choices originally and I hated them, plus a couple of letters and notes from Jon. It's quite scary to realise that I hadn't been through that stuff before and yet there were so few notes and cards in there.

I didn't throw away a load of books, mostly pop science stuff but also all my James Herriot that I thought I'd lost. I also kept a toy ginger cat named Bijou (we were going to have cats called Bijou and Delilah (Jon kept Delilah), can't remember why we chose those names) as I still like the toy and a photo in a cuddly pink frame. I figure when I can look at that and not remember why I was with the guy in the first place, then I can throw it. It doesn't make me sad to look at it, I just remember the good times so for now it can stay. I also found a picture of the two of us that was taken in Covent Garden in 1997. I look so different now, and I can hardly remember being that girl. But she looks happy so I shall keep that too.
I also found shed loads of letters from people like EMF, Pami, Benji, Tim Herrick, a letter from Claudia and all sorts of letters from old pen pals and people I met on holiday. I've kept those, some because I loved rereading them and others because they'll be useful for explaining myself to my kids in the future.

So a productive afternoon. I have an almost empty storage box (which will be combined with the next box I do so I have one empty and one with some bits in), a lovely neat living room, a real life cat meowing at me to move the keyboard so she can sit on my lap and I found all my James Herriot books.

Now I'm off to kick some Scourge butt in WoW until Phoenix gets home to get me my fairy lights.

Love letters, hate junk mail.

The post in the last few days has been worse than normal. Usually we have a couple of bits of post a day, usually both junk. But we've had nothing for the past few days and then *thump* it all arrived at once.

What did we get?

- An application form for Purple Loans (homeowners only).
- Credit card application (41.9% typical APR) (I feel horrible that there are people out there who actually have to take this as an option).
- Another credit card application (this one only has 21.9% APR).
- A SKY statement (must phone and pay that in a sec).
- An advert letter for botaxyouth serum (with lots of pictures inside using very clever lighting).
- An advert letter for Slimtox (including pictures of the many celebrities that have successfully used detox as a method of losing weight, but neglecting to mention that none of them have actually used this product).

So from my post/mail you can see that the whole point of life is to be thin, wrinkle free and to pay for those things by taking out loans and using credit cards. Oh, and that I have to pay SKY.

Funny how something that you would think would give you an insight into someone is possibly as far from the truth as possible.

I don't have wrinkles yet, due to the fact that I have oily skin so I still get spots for heavens sake! Detox? Ok, but pass that bar of Dairy Milk first (it's 2 400g bars for £3 in Woolies at the moment). Money wise we're doing ok, not rich, but not awake at night worrying about which bills to pay first. Oh, but I do have to pay SKY (as soon as I'm not on hold for 20 minutes....)

So contrary to my post (mail post as opposed to Blog post), life is good.

Now I'm off to kick some Undead butt in WoW until the towels are done in the washing machine.

Edit: My emails are usually worse than my post but today I didn't have a single Viagra or Porn email in my Junk Mail. Instead I had one from Bob Geldolf about emailing Peter Mandelson. Definately an email worth receiving.

I am Foley.....hear me roar!

Ceefax @ 19.00

I always flip through the news on Ceefax when I get up in the morning and when I get home from work

I go straight to page 104 and then progress through to 124. These are the first 10 stories I read tonight, in the order they appeared on screen.

104 - England considers World Cup bid.

105 - Blair defends education reforms.

106 - Iraq suicide attacks kill dozens.

107 - Supply fears amid gas price surge.

108 - Prince to sue over China diaries.

109 - UN rejects Guantanamo visit offer.

110 - Met boss may face Menezes inquiry.

111 - Bird flu vaccine "fast-tracked".

112 - Keane in shock exit from Man Utd.

113 - Policewoman shot dead in robbery.


Woah! Back up there! A policewoman being murdered ranks below Roy Keane quitting Man United?

My outrage was slightly cooled by the fact that it is now the lead story on the BBC News website, but even so!

Ok, I have vented my rage, I'm now off to eat chocolate, watch Children In Need and light a candle for a woman who was doing her job, and for her colleague in hospital.