I'm a bit discombobulated at the moment (oooh, I love that word).
I keep wanting to do things and then either talking myself out of them or just getting distracted. They're not big things, just little bits of stuff usually, but I don't seem to be able to get anywhere doing them.
(Even this blog post, it was all making sense in my head til I started typing...)
This is why I have been flaking I guess. Saturday was a very relaxed day - 7 episodes of E.R. and lots and lots of stitching. Sunday was shopping and WoW. I guess it just feels like I'm doing nothing with my time and that I should be doing more, but when I do I get stressed and snappy and generally am not fit to be out in public.
I've been vaguely thinking (again) about doing an OU course, but agin I don't know which course, I don't want to pick one and then hate it and feel like it was a waste of money, I don't want to sign up and then not do it "because I've got no time" even though I so have.
It's all just a bit meh.
On the bright side:
1) Mum's stitching is really coming along.
2) I've got Anthony hooked on Charmed.
3) I'd forgotten just how much I loved George Clooney as Doug Ross.
4) We're going shopping for a BIG shiny tv in a minute.
5) My 42 games game just arrived so I have something other than Sudoku to do on the DS.
6) I got the new Sarah Dessen proof today.
7) After spending three whole days doing "related product" (cards/notebooks/giftwrap) last week it's all done and I can get back to doing book stuff.
8) I got Tanara up to level 60 and Crimsone up to 40 on WoW. (and bought Crimsone a big red emu bird as a mount)
9) I've discovered a Mornington Crescent game on Facebook!
Showing posts with label Displacement Activity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Displacement Activity. Show all posts
Monday, February 04, 2008
Friday, December 07, 2007
Temporary Hiatus
I went to the doctors on Wednesday. I've been feeling terrible for a few weeks now, nauseous all the time and very rarely hungry, then when I do eat I'm sick fairly soon after. Mostly not sleeping properly, going to sleep ok, then waking up for four/five hours and then falling asleep just in time for my alarm to go off again. Although my general mood has been fairly upbeat, altogether I've been grumpy and short-tempered because of the nausea and tiredness. (and no, I'm not pregnant...)
Anyway, on Wednesday I woke up and was sick, but there was blood in it. This made me panic and actually go to the doctor. Now the blood was apparently nothing to worry about, he thought that was just because I'd been being sick a lot and because it was always quite sudden. (Sorry for the TMI here guys).
But apparently all the being sick and not sleeping are signs of reactive depression. I told him about everything with Dad and my depressive history and that I'd never had symptoms like this before. I know how to cope when I feel blue, but this? no idea.
Basically he's signed me off work for two weeks. He wanted to make it 4, or better still 6 but I just couldn't do that at this time of year (2 weeks off is bad enough). I have to go back and see him on the 21st and if he's not happy, then I don't go back to work for another 2 weeks.
So for the next two weeks I will be about a lot. I will be doing useful household tasks (washing-up, cleaning), going for a walk every day, and working on mum's cross-stitch as well as some tiny little Christmassy ones that I've had free from various magazines.
Just so you know I'm being really productive...
I've added all the proper Armory links to my sidebar too. (I know, I know...)
Anyway, on Wednesday I woke up and was sick, but there was blood in it. This made me panic and actually go to the doctor. Now the blood was apparently nothing to worry about, he thought that was just because I'd been being sick a lot and because it was always quite sudden. (Sorry for the TMI here guys).
But apparently all the being sick and not sleeping are signs of reactive depression. I told him about everything with Dad and my depressive history and that I'd never had symptoms like this before. I know how to cope when I feel blue, but this? no idea.
Basically he's signed me off work for two weeks. He wanted to make it 4, or better still 6 but I just couldn't do that at this time of year (2 weeks off is bad enough). I have to go back and see him on the 21st and if he's not happy, then I don't go back to work for another 2 weeks.
So for the next two weeks I will be about a lot. I will be doing useful household tasks (washing-up, cleaning), going for a walk every day, and working on mum's cross-stitch as well as some tiny little Christmassy ones that I've had free from various magazines.
Just so you know I'm being really productive...
I've added all the proper Armory links to my sidebar too. (I know, I know...)
Monday, November 26, 2007
Day Off
I had a nice relaxing day off today. I did a few productive things in the morning, then spent the afternoon playing on Neopets which was fun and earned me 23,846 Neopoints.
I had another culinary success tonight, I know! Two in less than a week!
I adapted my spicy chicken thing that I've made a couple of times.* This time I left the chicken breasts whole and didn't defrost them, just sat them in little dishes of tin foil, splashed them with lime juice, sprinkled the spice mix over the top, wrapped them up and stuck them in the oven.
It worked really well, I thought I might have used a little too much lime juice but the roast potatoes soaked it all up off the plates and it was all scrummy.
I'm not sure if it quite counts as a separate recipe though.
*Just had a look through the archives to discover that I haven't written about it so can't link. Basically it's a mix of garlic powder, onion powder, paprika and cayenne pepper (and sometimes a little thyme) that I sprinkle over/rub into chunks of chicken breast and then fry up. When it's done you add a slosh of lime juice to the pan and throw on some spinach. When that's wilted, it's done! We've had it with noodles, mash, rice and on its own and I really like it. Easy cooking, but PROPER!
I had another culinary success tonight, I know! Two in less than a week!
I adapted my spicy chicken thing that I've made a couple of times.* This time I left the chicken breasts whole and didn't defrost them, just sat them in little dishes of tin foil, splashed them with lime juice, sprinkled the spice mix over the top, wrapped them up and stuck them in the oven.
It worked really well, I thought I might have used a little too much lime juice but the roast potatoes soaked it all up off the plates and it was all scrummy.
I'm not sure if it quite counts as a separate recipe though.
*Just had a look through the archives to discover that I haven't written about it so can't link. Basically it's a mix of garlic powder, onion powder, paprika and cayenne pepper (and sometimes a little thyme) that I sprinkle over/rub into chunks of chicken breast and then fry up. When it's done you add a slosh of lime juice to the pan and throw on some spinach. When that's wilted, it's done! We've had it with noodles, mash, rice and on its own and I really like it. Easy cooking, but PROPER!
Friday, November 09, 2007
Meh
Having a very bad day today so instead of misery you can have one of my Wiki lists.
1. 84 Charing Cross Road
2. Frank Doel
3. Bookselling
4. Bookstore Tourism
5. Wine Tourism
6. Winemaking
7. Champagne
8. Dreyfus Affair
9. Nazism
10. Jingoism
11. UN-American
12. Hollywood Blacklist
13. Charlie Chaplin
14. Thomas Harper Ince
15. William Randolph Hearst
1. 84 Charing Cross Road
2. Frank Doel
3. Bookselling
4. Bookstore Tourism
5. Wine Tourism
6. Winemaking
7. Champagne
8. Dreyfus Affair
9. Nazism
10. Jingoism
11. UN-American
12. Hollywood Blacklist
13. Charlie Chaplin
14. Thomas Harper Ince
15. William Randolph Hearst
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The saving grace of solitaire.
I'm playing lots of solitaire. It means I'm doing something, while at the same time I'm not. My mind is busy on one level but free to think on others.
Today I have been playing solitaire and listening to this and crying a bit (ok, a lot).
I had stopped crying. It was like my body had dried out. The main problem is that my brain is still not convinced that all of this is real. As my mum said this morning, it's like it happened two days ago but also two months ago.
Dad is going to be buried in the fabulously lovely Herongate Wood next week. He'd left no instructions about wheres and hows (bloody typical) so we've got him a plot by the pond where there are moorhens in spring. As the homepage says there's no need for hearses and limos and very rushed half-hour slots at the crem all of which he hated. The funny thing is until mum found the place, we had no idea it was there although we've driven along that road hundreds of times. That's rather the point I think.
We're also probably going to get him a bench in the local park. On our Saturday library trips to Chelmsford we'd park near Chelmsford Park and then walk through (therefore avoiding the multi-storey car parks which he disliked). There is a bench that we'd walk past with a plaque on it that says "In Loving Memory of Ted and Cis". Now we have no idea who Ted and Cis were, but every time we'd walk past it he'd go "Oh, I remember!". So a bench for other people to make that joke about is sodding perfect.
Everything seems to happening very fast but also very slowly. Presumably time will return itself to normal at some point. Probably when I get back to work and have just five minutes to go before my lunch break...
Today I have been playing solitaire and listening to this and crying a bit (ok, a lot).
I had stopped crying. It was like my body had dried out. The main problem is that my brain is still not convinced that all of this is real. As my mum said this morning, it's like it happened two days ago but also two months ago.
Dad is going to be buried in the fabulously lovely Herongate Wood next week. He'd left no instructions about wheres and hows (bloody typical) so we've got him a plot by the pond where there are moorhens in spring. As the homepage says there's no need for hearses and limos and very rushed half-hour slots at the crem all of which he hated. The funny thing is until mum found the place, we had no idea it was there although we've driven along that road hundreds of times. That's rather the point I think.
We're also probably going to get him a bench in the local park. On our Saturday library trips to Chelmsford we'd park near Chelmsford Park and then walk through (therefore avoiding the multi-storey car parks which he disliked). There is a bench that we'd walk past with a plaque on it that says "In Loving Memory of Ted and Cis". Now we have no idea who Ted and Cis were, but every time we'd walk past it he'd go "Oh, I remember!". So a bench for other people to make that joke about is sodding perfect.
Everything seems to happening very fast but also very slowly. Presumably time will return itself to normal at some point. Probably when I get back to work and have just five minutes to go before my lunch break...
Monday, September 24, 2007
Darkness
I'm rather confused at the moment.
When the world ends everything's supposed to stop right? Things aren't supposed to just carry on. At the very least there should be a moment when everything stops.
All I got was the TV blowing up.
Spain was lovely, got sunburnt and relaxed a lot and then got back to England at 3am yesterday morning. Crashed at Anthony's for a few hours, went to Tesco for food, went to Waterstone's for the new Pratchett and then came home just as the phone rang.
It was my mother ringing to tell me that my dad was in hospital. That he'd gone in on Thurs/Fri with a bit of a pain and that then all of a sudden she had a phonecall on Sunday to say that instead of thinking about him coming home on Monday, she should get there as soon as possible.
Unfortunately there was no point in me trying to get there as soon as possible. Instead we did sensible things like putting the food in the freezer and putting a load of washing on and feeding the cats treats.
Then we put the British Superbikes on to distract me. Then the TV went "buh-dooooooo" and stopped working. Then mum phoned about ten minutes later to say that dad had died about ten minutes before.
Bastard took my TV with him.
I think we are going to have to be careful with the family sense of humour. It is dark at the best of times but at the moment is very very black and leads to hysterical laughter followed by flooding.
Like the fact that my mother can now watch exactly what she wants on TV and has claimed possession of the "preciouses" (remotes) but then got all shaky when thinking about the copy of the Radio Times next to his chair with all the programmes he wanted to watch this week circled.
We are all over the place at the moment, literally. I'm in Wolves and Emily is in Cardiff. She went back yesterday morning when everything was still ok.
Anthony has had to go to work which is one of the reasons I'm up so bloody early. I don't have to even think about work until I have to ring RichieFingers towards the end of the week. Poor Richie, he was so very unintentionally funny on the phone yesterday when I phoned to say I probably would not be in today. He was all "Oh. What? No! What? What? No! WHAT?" Darling boy.
I spoke to my cousin Richard last night as mum couldn't face ringing my Aunt Sylv and so I rang Richard to ask him for her number. But he was also a star and said he would tell her (and his dad) and then pass on my number.
No one even knew he was in hospital cos everything happened so fast. But fast is good in a way as I wouldn't have wanted him hanging on and on for days. He would have hated it too, partly cos it's £3.50 a day for the TVs in Basildon Hospital. He was whinging about this, but then enjoying watching the football results.
Bloody Orient lost their first game of the season too. And he never got his birthday present - the programme for Leyton Orient.v.Arsenal in the FA Cup Semi-Final game from Saturday 8th April 1978. The game prior to this was the one that led to me being born.
I will be here for a few days and then will go home. Mum wants to be on her own for a little bit as it will make things easier afterwards. Emily is stuck in Cardiff until Thursday as she has to enrol on Wednesday (essential for student loan). I am worried about my baby sister. I am ALWAYS worried about my baby sister, but I am extra worried at the moment. Being worried about her is helpful cos then I am not thinking.
I will be spending a lot of time on the computer trying not to think. Thinking's overrated.
It also means I shall be doing lots of work on the cross-stitch for my mother.
And contributing to global warming by using acres of tissues.
When the world ends everything's supposed to stop right? Things aren't supposed to just carry on. At the very least there should be a moment when everything stops.
All I got was the TV blowing up.
Spain was lovely, got sunburnt and relaxed a lot and then got back to England at 3am yesterday morning. Crashed at Anthony's for a few hours, went to Tesco for food, went to Waterstone's for the new Pratchett and then came home just as the phone rang.
It was my mother ringing to tell me that my dad was in hospital. That he'd gone in on Thurs/Fri with a bit of a pain and that then all of a sudden she had a phonecall on Sunday to say that instead of thinking about him coming home on Monday, she should get there as soon as possible.
Unfortunately there was no point in me trying to get there as soon as possible. Instead we did sensible things like putting the food in the freezer and putting a load of washing on and feeding the cats treats.
Then we put the British Superbikes on to distract me. Then the TV went "buh-dooooooo" and stopped working. Then mum phoned about ten minutes later to say that dad had died about ten minutes before.
Bastard took my TV with him.
I think we are going to have to be careful with the family sense of humour. It is dark at the best of times but at the moment is very very black and leads to hysterical laughter followed by flooding.
Like the fact that my mother can now watch exactly what she wants on TV and has claimed possession of the "preciouses" (remotes) but then got all shaky when thinking about the copy of the Radio Times next to his chair with all the programmes he wanted to watch this week circled.
We are all over the place at the moment, literally. I'm in Wolves and Emily is in Cardiff. She went back yesterday morning when everything was still ok.
Anthony has had to go to work which is one of the reasons I'm up so bloody early. I don't have to even think about work until I have to ring RichieFingers towards the end of the week. Poor Richie, he was so very unintentionally funny on the phone yesterday when I phoned to say I probably would not be in today. He was all "Oh. What? No! What? What? No! WHAT?" Darling boy.
I spoke to my cousin Richard last night as mum couldn't face ringing my Aunt Sylv and so I rang Richard to ask him for her number. But he was also a star and said he would tell her (and his dad) and then pass on my number.
No one even knew he was in hospital cos everything happened so fast. But fast is good in a way as I wouldn't have wanted him hanging on and on for days. He would have hated it too, partly cos it's £3.50 a day for the TVs in Basildon Hospital. He was whinging about this, but then enjoying watching the football results.
Bloody Orient lost their first game of the season too. And he never got his birthday present - the programme for Leyton Orient.v.Arsenal in the FA Cup Semi-Final game from Saturday 8th April 1978. The game prior to this was the one that led to me being born.
I will be here for a few days and then will go home. Mum wants to be on her own for a little bit as it will make things easier afterwards. Emily is stuck in Cardiff until Thursday as she has to enrol on Wednesday (essential for student loan). I am worried about my baby sister. I am ALWAYS worried about my baby sister, but I am extra worried at the moment. Being worried about her is helpful cos then I am not thinking.
I will be spending a lot of time on the computer trying not to think. Thinking's overrated.
It also means I shall be doing lots of work on the cross-stitch for my mother.
And contributing to global warming by using acres of tissues.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Prevarication 2
One word only
1. Where is your cell phone? Sofa.
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend? Mine.
3. Your hair? Blonde.
4. Your mother? Complicated.
5. Your father? Sarcastic.
6. Your favourite item? Book.
7. Your dream last night? Friends.
8. Your favourite drink? Lemonade.
9. Your dream car? Bugatti.
10. The room you are in? Tidy!
11. Your ex? Yeti.
12. Your fear? Lonely.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Settled.
14. Who did you hang out with last night? Cats.
15. What you're not? Tactful.
19. The last thing you did? Stretch.
20. What are you wearing? Jeans.
22. Your favourite book? All.
23. The last thing you ate? Chocolate.
24. Your life? Full.
25. Your mood? Relaxed.
26. Your friends? Fabulous.
27. What are you thinking about right now? Packing.
28. Your car? Anthonys.
29. What are you doing at the moment? Prevaricating.
30. Your summer? Endless.
31. Your relationship status? Heavenly.
32. What is on your tv? History.
33. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday.
34. Last time you cried? Friday.
35. School? Life.
1. Where is your cell phone? Sofa.
2. Describe your boyfriend/girlfriend? Mine.
3. Your hair? Blonde.
4. Your mother? Complicated.
5. Your father? Sarcastic.
6. Your favourite item? Book.
7. Your dream last night? Friends.
8. Your favourite drink? Lemonade.
9. Your dream car? Bugatti.
10. The room you are in? Tidy!
11. Your ex? Yeti.
12. Your fear? Lonely.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Settled.
14. Who did you hang out with last night? Cats.
15. What you're not? Tactful.
19. The last thing you did? Stretch.
20. What are you wearing? Jeans.
22. Your favourite book? All.
23. The last thing you ate? Chocolate.
24. Your life? Full.
25. Your mood? Relaxed.
26. Your friends? Fabulous.
27. What are you thinking about right now? Packing.
28. Your car? Anthonys.
29. What are you doing at the moment? Prevaricating.
30. Your summer? Endless.
31. Your relationship status? Heavenly.
32. What is on your tv? History.
33. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday.
34. Last time you cried? Friday.
35. School? Life.
Prevarication 1
(I actually did this after the other one, hence the quantity of one word answers!)
My Autobiography
Fill this out IN YOUR OWN WORDS and repost as, "My Autobiography" ... And use your own answers, not anyone else's.
My Autobiography
1.Where did you take your profile pic?
Sitting on a bench in Bath.
2.What exactly are you wearing right now?
Black slouchy trousers, big blue jumper.
3.What is your current problem?
Getting distracted by things instead of packing books.
4.What makes you happy most?
Anthony, the cats, my sister, books, sunshine.
5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
No music on...
6.Which celeb you would marry?
None of them.
7.Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Marlene Dietrich
8.Ever sang in front of a large audience?
Yes, with Johnny Ball.
9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Nope.
10.Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
Yep, but only classic ones.
11. Do you speak any languages?
English, tiny bits of French and German, single words in lots of others.
12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
Yes.
13.Do you ever watch MTV?
Nope.
14.What's something that really annoys you?
Customers who act like they're better than me cos I work in a shop.
Chapter 1:
===============
1.Middle name:
Mary.
2.Nickname(s):
§kate§, BookshopKate, Oi You!
3.Current location:
Living room, My House, Wolverhampton, England, Earth, Solar System, Universe.
4.Eye color:
Blue.
Chapter 2:
===============
1.Do you live with your parent(s):
Nope.
2.Do you get along with your parent(s):
Mostly.
3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
Married, but sometimes I wish they weren't.
4.Do you have any Siblings?:
Younger sister.
Chapter 3: Favorites
===============
1. Ice Cream:
Phish Food.
2. Season:
Summer.
3.Shampoo/conditioner:
Lush Karma Komba and Veganese.
Chapter 4: Do You..
===============
1.Dance in the shower?
Nope, just spend waaaaaay too long in there.
2.Do you write on your hand?
Yes, at the moment it says BOXES!
3.Call people back?
I try too.
4.Believe in love:
Yes.
5.Sleep on a certain side of the bed:
Usually.
6. Any bad habits?
Millions.
7. Any mental health issues:
Depression.
Chapter 5: Have You..
===============
1.Broken a bone:
Left wrist twice, left arm once, collarbone once (can't remember which one now!)
2.Sprained stuff:
Ankle, wrist.
3.Had physical therapy:
Nope.
4. Gotten stitches:
Nope.
5.Taken painkillers:
Yep.
6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling:
Nope.
7.Been stung by a bee:
Yep, and it went septic so I have a nice scar on my leg.
8.Thrown up at the dentist:
Nope, but I've wanted to.
9.Sworn in front of your parents
Hell yeah!
10. Had detention:
Yup, Miss Black and her Drama favouritism.
Chaper 6: Who/What was the last
===============
1.Movie(s):
I Capture The Castle.
2.Person to text you:
Anthony.
3.Person you called:
Customer at work about their order.
4.Person you hugged:
Anthony.
5.Person you tackled:
Emily probably.
6. Person you talked to on IM?
Emily.
7.Thing you touched:
Apart from this keyboard, Esme - sitting on my lap and purring.
8. Thing you ate?
Chocolate.
9.Thing you drank:
Buttercup cough syrup.
10.Thing you said:
Urgh - after coughing for about 5 minutes.
11.Person you kissed:
Anthony.
My Autobiography
Fill this out IN YOUR OWN WORDS and repost as, "My Autobiography" ... And use your own answers, not anyone else's.
My Autobiography
1.Where did you take your profile pic?
Sitting on a bench in Bath.
2.What exactly are you wearing right now?
Black slouchy trousers, big blue jumper.
3.What is your current problem?
Getting distracted by things instead of packing books.
4.What makes you happy most?
Anthony, the cats, my sister, books, sunshine.
5.What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
No music on...
6.Which celeb you would marry?
None of them.
7.Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Marlene Dietrich
8.Ever sang in front of a large audience?
Yes, with Johnny Ball.
9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Nope.
10.Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
Yep, but only classic ones.
11. Do you speak any languages?
English, tiny bits of French and German, single words in lots of others.
12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
Yes.
13.Do you ever watch MTV?
Nope.
14.What's something that really annoys you?
Customers who act like they're better than me cos I work in a shop.
Chapter 1:
===============
1.Middle name:
Mary.
2.Nickname(s):
§kate§, BookshopKate, Oi You!
3.Current location:
Living room, My House, Wolverhampton, England, Earth, Solar System, Universe.
4.Eye color:
Blue.
Chapter 2:
===============
1.Do you live with your parent(s):
Nope.
2.Do you get along with your parent(s):
Mostly.
3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
Married, but sometimes I wish they weren't.
4.Do you have any Siblings?:
Younger sister.
Chapter 3: Favorites
===============
1. Ice Cream:
Phish Food.
2. Season:
Summer.
3.Shampoo/conditioner:
Lush Karma Komba and Veganese.
Chapter 4: Do You..
===============
1.Dance in the shower?
Nope, just spend waaaaaay too long in there.
2.Do you write on your hand?
Yes, at the moment it says BOXES!
3.Call people back?
I try too.
4.Believe in love:
Yes.
5.Sleep on a certain side of the bed:
Usually.
6. Any bad habits?
Millions.
7. Any mental health issues:
Depression.
Chapter 5: Have You..
===============
1.Broken a bone:
Left wrist twice, left arm once, collarbone once (can't remember which one now!)
2.Sprained stuff:
Ankle, wrist.
3.Had physical therapy:
Nope.
4. Gotten stitches:
Nope.
5.Taken painkillers:
Yep.
6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling:
Nope.
7.Been stung by a bee:
Yep, and it went septic so I have a nice scar on my leg.
8.Thrown up at the dentist:
Nope, but I've wanted to.
9.Sworn in front of your parents
Hell yeah!
10. Had detention:
Yup, Miss Black and her Drama favouritism.
Chaper 6: Who/What was the last
===============
1.Movie(s):
I Capture The Castle.
2.Person to text you:
Anthony.
3.Person you called:
Customer at work about their order.
4.Person you hugged:
Anthony.
5.Person you tackled:
Emily probably.
6. Person you talked to on IM?
Emily.
7.Thing you touched:
Apart from this keyboard, Esme - sitting on my lap and purring.
8. Thing you ate?
Chocolate.
9.Thing you drank:
Buttercup cough syrup.
10.Thing you said:
Urgh - after coughing for about 5 minutes.
11.Person you kissed:
Anthony.
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