Gah.

I am wet. Some twat of a boy racer decided that it would be funny to slow down as though he was going to let me cross the road, and then to zoom past through a huge puddle as I stepped off the kerb. But I was a very good girl and didn't make an obscene gesture at him (mainly cos this is Wolverhampton and he'd probably have shot me).

So being very soggy I have broken my new habit of not sitting down at the computer until 7pm. This was a very new habit as I only started it yesterday, but in that computer-less hour yesterday I managed to make my dining room look like a dining room - you can see the table top! If I can keep the habit up (I do have tomorrow off so I'll do an extra hour then) I should have a tidy(ish) house in no time.

Since my dress post - and thank you for all the lovely comments and hello to the new people - I have been back to Essex for the weekend and I took it with me. I didn't wear it, but my mother likes it and suggested I wear it to my old friend Jodie's 30th birthday party in July. Depending on the weather... I might. I still have not found any shoes to go with it, although I haven't really looked too hard. I shall have to prod my shoe guru and see what she can find me. I'm thinking cream, open-toe, low kitten heel.

In other shoe related news, I have ordered these lovely things to wear to work instead of my CAT boots. I ordered them in an 8 which were too small so I'm just waiting for a pair of 9's to arrive. But today I realised that Jo (who is back working for us again) was wearing a pair of the things too! She agrees that they are very comfortable but that the silly rubberband-round-button fastening is not the best.

Edit: My Shoe Guru is my sister Emily, who just commented to me (on the phone) that she wasn't sure if I meant her or "some weird bit of your brain". It's now going to be one of her summer projects, although since I need them by the 4th of July it had better not take her all summer.

I love my sister

She's just phoned me to apologise.

"I'm really sorry Kate."

"What?"

"I've just gone into Waterstone's and they didn't have the other book that I wanted, so I left the Marian Keyes book that I was holding in the Sci-Fi and Fantasy section and now I've gone into Borders."

"Oh Emily. You don't need to apologise for going into Borders. Leaving a Marian Keyes book in Sci-Fi though..."

"I know, I know."

"Hang on a sec, where are you phoning from?"

"Erm...Borders."

"So you're apologising for leaving a book in the wrong place by phoning me from inside a bookshop?"

"Erm...sorry."

Borders didn't have what she was after either so she's gone to Forbidden Planet just in case, and then her last resort will be WH Smiths.

Four Things

I had this as an email from both my mother and sister, and now FatBoyFat has tagged me with it to distract me from my woes. (I feel much better today by the way.)

Four jobs I've held:

Telephone Interviewer.
Qualified Sales Advisor at Holland & Barrett.
Christmas Temp at New Look.
Bookseller.

Four movies I've watched over and over again:

French Kiss - love this film.
Serendipity - just fab.
The Care Bears Movie - because Emily was addicted to this film as a small child.
Scream - because one of my housemates at uni hated it, and if I was watching it she wouldn't stay in the living room, thus leaving me in peace!

Four places I've been:

France.
Lloret De Mar.
Bath.
Wiesbaden.

Four places I've lived:

Awali, Bahrain.
Stroud, Gloucestershire.
Istead Rise, Kent.
Canterbury, Kent.

Four TV shows I watch:

CSI.
Numb3rs.
Ashes to Ashes (I loved Life on Mars)
E.R.

Four radio shows I listen to:

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue
The Shipping Forecast.
The Archers.
The Goon Show (on BBC7)


Four things I look forward to:

Summer - with sunshine this year please.
Center Parcs at Easter - especially the massage I'm booking myself!
Getting divorced.
Moving house.

Four favourite foods:

Chocolate.
Spag Bol.
Steak sandwiches in french bread.
Subway Italian BMT (footlong, herb and cheese bread, extra cheese, green pepper, honey mustard sauce)

Four places I'd rather be:

Anywhere warm.
Summer 1996.
In bed with Anthony.
Shattrath City.

Four people I e-mail regularly:

Emily.
Mum.
Angela.
Anthony.

Four people I've tagged:

Caroline.
Michelle.
Keris.
David.

Sunflower Cross-Stitch

Sun1302
Originally uploaded by Petronella Rose.

It's coming along!

Happy New Year!

Tired

I am a very tired bunny after a long day at work featuring various amounts of abuse from various bitchy middle-aged women.

So I am going to bed and may be more intelligent tomorrow...although that won't be hard.

(but I have got Beef Bourguignon for dinner!)

Happy Thoughts

fatboyfat has posted some Reasons to be Cheerful today. Since I was thinking about writing about the Men's Shed Movement it ties in quite well, also the fact I have had a nice relaxing happy day off is good too.

Ignoring the England football result this evening (and if they had won they wouldn't have deserved it, maybe now we'll get a decent manager and the overpaid little tossers will put some effort in) here are some happy thoughts.

Today it is 100 days until I can start divorce proceedings!

My mother has bought a Nintendo DS...this is more a shocking thought than a happy one but she did offer to get me one for Christmas which is the happy bit (although I am probably going to be sensible and have the coat).

I have finally got fed up with waiting for Emily to post me this first disc of Scrubs Season Four and have booked it on Lovefilm. So the Scrubs obsession will be back shortly.

I managed to complete a very tough quest on WoW today and got thoroughly overexcited about it.

I cleared out two bin bags full of junk!

It might have got very dark in my house at about 14.30 (2.30pm) but I had fairy lights to put on.

When tidying up the living room I found one last solitary Wispa...and saved it for after tea!

Jane Brocket is writing a perfectly delicious book that I can't wait to read.

Short Post

This will be a very short post as I've just got in from work (did a 10.30-7 shift today) and there's a fabulous new WoW patch which means I HAVE to go on nd check out all the new niceness.

Plus Anthony is cooking...mmmm...

Sunset

I may have moved house three times in the five years that I've lived in Wolverhampton, but I haven't moved very far. The second house was four roads up from the first one, and this one is only one road up from it. All the houses have felt very different (certainly this one cos it's all mine and the Yeti has never been here). It feels like I lived in that horrible first house a hundred years ago, so it shocks me every time when I walk to the end of this road and look left and see it. It's also very weird nipping into the local shop, as it's the one practically opposite the first house and walking round there brings back memories that are not always good. (There are about 15 small supermarkets here so it wasn't the closest one to the second house).

Anyway, as usual I digress.

The fact I haven't moved very far means that my walk to and from work has been essentially the same route for five years. When heading home I cross the ring road and walk down Merridale Street which is one long straight road. I pass the posh car sales room, the dodgy pub next to a concrete blocky church, the garage where they've covered all the windows so the police can't see what stolen cars they're working on. Past a playground, the fire station and the old pub that became a funeral home last spring. Then comes the only bit of my route that has changed. For the first house I'd go straight on, for the other two I cut left through the park (ok in summer, a little scary in winter) and catch a whiff of the *interesting* smoke from the group of boys by the basketball court. Then I used to go left again but now I go straight on down the road to reach home.

Having had the same route for such a long time means that often I don't notice most of it. I reach home having immersed myself in my headphones (but never so loud that I can't hear what's happening around me) and having walked it on autopilot.
Tonight the world made me look at it.

As I came to the top of Merridale Street I looked along down it and was amazed by the sunset. The whole sky was dark and cloudy apart from a strip at the end of it that was orange and gold and pink and crimson in lovely hazy stripes. The buildings either side meant that the only bit of the sunset I could see was the bit at the end of the road, with trees (in the cemetery at the end) standing black outlined against it.

I wished and wished that I'd had my camera, although I know I wouldn't have been able to capture it.
I wished that my sister was visiting as I know that she would have been able to photograph it and do it justice.
But most of all I wished that I could have phoned my dad and described it to him, instead I spoke to Anthony and have blogged it in an attempt to keep that glowing band of colour in my minds eye.

To Do List

1. Wake up to Foley purring in my ear.
2. Have fairly productive morning at work.
3. Have horribly frustrating and unproductive afternoon at work.
4. Walk Campbelli to her car and share rants about work.
5. Get home to letter from bank informing me that because I have gone £30 over my overdraft (due to a £30 charge they did not inform me about), they will be charging me £30.
6. Throw boots across room in frustration and burst into tears.
7. Put on "Mr Brightside" very loudly and sing along.
8. Make delicious Black Russian.
9. Sing along loudly to "Fat Bottomed Girls", then turn music down as remember that double-glazing is pants and if I can hear the "brothers" sitting on the wall outside, they can hear me.
10. Blog.
11. Check email/blogs/FaceBook.
12. Put on pizza for tea.
13. Make another delicious Black Russian.
14. Earn 90 gold on Warcraft. while eating pizza, watching CSI and making more Black Russians when required.
15. Buy flying mount.
16. Go to bed feeling better.

Selection from Thursday's To-Do List.

1. Buy more vodka and Tia Maria for making Black Russians.
2. Go to bank.
3. Have better day at work.

Monkey brains

Yesterday I went upstairs to cover Maggies break and took over seeing the rep from Elsevier. I'm flicking through the catalogue of books that mostly don't apply to our store and I said to him that most of these books seem like the one on monkey brains that another rep showed me the other week. I was a bit embarrassed when the other rep turned out to be him as well.

This then led to a conversation about time speeding up recently, since it had been a month since he'd been in and it had only seemed like the week before that I'd seen him. He was saying that he'd just had his birthday and that he couldn't believe how old he was when he didn't feel it, and how stuck he felt when he thought of all the things he could be doing.

We had a chinwag about this for a few minutes before he went, but it really got me thinking.

When I was little, 28 was old. I know that about 9 years old I thought that when I was 27 I'd be married and have kids, that was an aim right up until this time last year in fact. Not a big aim, but the kind of childhood aim that stays in your subconscious and hangs about there, occasionally making itself known. Last year I really felt I'd failed this aim that I'd had for such a long time, and it took a bit of work to acknowledge that although it was a valid aim, it just didn't apply anymore.

I think part of the problem is that the media feeds such a constant image of not good enough. Celebrity magazines say that you're not thin enough, or your life is not worthwhile if you don't have these sunglasses, that dress, those shoes. Lifestyle magazines try to sell you the perfect home, the perfect cleaning product to clean your perfect new gadget with. Advertising is designed to sell you a product by selling you the image (and I'm the advertisers dream according to my dad) but the whole of the media seems to be going this way. Even book prizes do it, the idea that you HAVE to read the Booker/Orange/Costa winner or not be a serious reader.

TV programmes show you the dream of quitting the rat race and going to grow vegetables, but they gloss over the hard work and focus on the "goodness" of eating your own produce. Relocation, Relocation did a programme when a mother and daughter followed their dream of going to run a pub in the country (which our new manager was raving about it being a fabulous idea), but it never mentions the fact that someone has to be up early for deliveries, someone up late to close up and you never get a day off. (My parents have friends who own a pub, and all this was mentioned when once I said I'd like to do it)

It's no wonder that we sell so many Pop Psych books, the world just seems to be set up at the moment to tell you that you're not good enough. Your job isn't paying enough, you should love your job, you should be going to these places on holiday, you should be recycling more, eating better, reading these books.

For a long time I thought it was just me, doing my whole paranoia thing and feeling generally insecure. But having a chat with a guy who said that he harbours dreams of living like Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall but knows he wouldn't like the hard work bit has helped me realise that it's something affecting other people than just me.

I don't know if I'll ever manage to be free of it, but knowing this is helping me look at it that much clearer.

Bloody family

My horoscope this morning made me grin.

"Worries about a relative who lives far away might be plaguing you today, KATE, and the situation isn't helped by the fact that you may not be able to reach them by phone or e-mail. You may have to go around them and contact mutual friends who might be able to give you the information you need. Circumstances probably aren't all that dire, and there's probably nothing to be overly concerned about, but you need to hear this. Keep trying!"

They're all fine, I thought to myself. Spoke to the parents at the weekend and IM'd with Emily the other day.

Then tonight I got a phonecall to inform me that a member of my family had fallen down the stairs when pissed, no bones broken but some nasty cuts from the glass they'd been holding at the time.

It wasn't my student sister, it was my old enough to know better father.

He downplayed it all when he called me, it was mum who said that when she saw him at the bottom of the stairs she thought he'd broken his neck.

But he's fine, got all checked out and patched up by some lovely Essex paramedics and technicians. Mum was saying that if he hadn't been pissed he wouldn't have tripped, but if he hadn't been he'd definately have broken something.

Honestly, you get to the age where they've just stopped worrying about you, and then you have to worry about them!

So I'm distracting myself from the desire to go straight home and hug him by playing some WoW.

*sigh*

Time filler

I'm having a very nice holiday so far and have done absolutely bugger all worth blogging about. Today I am off to get my Valentine's secret present so I shall leave you with a quiz (obtained from Emily) in the meantime. I've even persuaded Anthony to fill it in too!

Level 1
(A) Smoked A Cigarette
(AK) Smoked A Cigar
(AK) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex [pissing about and family count!]
(AK) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 4A 3K

Level 2
(K) Shoplifted
(A) Been Fired [Being made redundant isn't the same!]
(AK) Been Dumped
(AK) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR 7A 6K

Level 3
(AK) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(AK) Skipped School
(AK) Slept With A Co-worker
(AK) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 11A 10K

Level 4
() Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
(A) Been To Paris
(K) Been To Spain
(AK) Been On A Plane
(AK) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 14A 13K

Level 5
(K) Eaten Sushi
() Been Snowboarding
() Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook
(K) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 14A 15K

Level 6
(AK) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(AK) Taken Pain Killers
(AK) Love/loved Someone Who You Can't Have
(AK) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(K) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 18A 20K

Level 7
(AK) Had A Tea Party
(AK) Flown A Kite
(AK) Built A Sand Castle
() Gone mudding
(AK) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 22A 24K

Level 8
(AK) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(AK) Gone Sledging
(AK) Cheated While Playing A Game
(AK) Been Lonely
(AK) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 27A 29K

Level 9
(AK) Watched The Sun Set
(A) Felt An Earthquake
() Killed A Snake
(A) Sent a letter by post to yourself

SO FAR: 30A 30K

Level 10
(AK) Been Tickled
(AK) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(AK) Been cheated on
(AK) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 34A 34K

Level 11
(AK) Won A Contest
(A) Been Suspended From School
(AK) Had Detention
(A) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 38A 36K

Level 12
(K) Had / Have Braces
(K) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(K) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 38A 39K

Level 13
(AK) Hated The Way You Look
(AK) Witnessed A Crime
(K) Pole Danced
(AK) Questioned Your Heart
(K) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 41A 44K

Level 14
(K) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(AK) Been Lost
() Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(AK) Swam In The Ocean
(AK) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 44A 48K

Level 15
(AK) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(AK) Played Cops And Robbers
(AK) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(AK) Sang Karaoke
(AK) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 49A 53K

Level 16
(AK) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(AK) Made Prank Phone Calls
(AK) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(AK) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 53A 57K

Level 17
(K) Written A Letter To Father Christmas
(AK) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(AK) Blown Bubbles
(AK) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or anywhere

SO FAR: 56A 61K

Level 18
(AK) Crashed A Party
(A) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(AK) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(K) Had A Wish Come True
() Been Humped By A Monkey(?)

SO FAR: 59A 64K

Level 19
() Worn Pearls (pearl necklace counts)
() Jumped Off A Bridge
(A) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
(K) Ridden an elephant

SO FAR: 60A 65K

Level 20
(A) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
() Kissed A Fish
(K) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(AK) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 62A 67K

Level 21
(AK) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
() Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(K) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours (A= can I have half a point. been on phone for over 3hrs b'ham to swansea in a truck)
(AK) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about

SO FAR: 64.5A 70K

Level 22
(A) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(AK) Climbed A Tree
(AK) Had/Been In A Tree House
(K) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 67.5A 73K

Level 23
(AK) Believed In Ghosts
() Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
() Gone Streaking
(AK) Visited Jail (K= On a school trip...)

SO FAR: 69.5A 75K

Level 24
(A) Played Chicken
() Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(AK) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(AK) Broken A Bone
(AK) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 73.5A 78K

Level 25
() Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
() Made A Porn Video
(A) Caught A Butterfly
(AK) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(K) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 75.5A 80K

Level 26
(AK) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(AK) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(AK) Cheated On A Test
(AK) Forgotten Someone's Name
(K) French Braided Someone's Hair
(K) Gone Skinny Dipping
(A) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(AK) Tried to hurt yourself

SO FAR: 81.5A 87K

Level 27
(AK) Rode A Roller Coaster
(A) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(AK) Had A Cavity
(A) Black-Mailed Someone
(A) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 86.5A 89K

Level 28
(AK) Been Used
(AK) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(AK) Been Licked By A Cat
(AK) Bitten Someone
(AK) Licked Someone

SO FAR: 91.5A 94K

Level 29
(A) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
(AK) Had sex in the rain
(A) Flattened someones tyres
(AK) Rode your car/truck until the fuel light came on
(AK) Got five quid or less worth of fuel

Total 96.5A 97K

Is it Thursday?

It's certainly been one of those days today.

It started off ok, not late for work or anything, but the day got crazier as it went on.

Campbelli (who came in when she's supposed to be on holiday) and Fingers were coming up with grand plans for the kids department and none of us noticed the time so the breaks all got a bit late. Then I ended up in a HUGE queue in Boots when I went in for some more Sudafed Max.

A school phoned up needing a list of books that they wanted five minutes ago (if you know what I mean, it's a phrase that's easier to say than write!).

Then just as we thought things had calmed down a bit an old lady came in to sit down as she'd felt a bit faint while in the bus queue and ended up fainting into my arms. I was trying not to drop her and put her down carefully (since she was quite frail) while Fingers tried to track down Rich Daws (our first aider). Then we had ambulances and first aiders turn up and try to convince her to go to hospital while I sat on the floor supporting her for half an hour or so. Despite the ambulance crew trying to convince her to go, she held firm and got a cab home. (I hope I'm that bolshy at 86).

Just as we'd all got back into the swing of the afternoon, Rich Daws announced he could smell burning plastic and we all started hunting round the shop for the source. It turned out to be the sign above the lift, so we turned the light out and hoped it would stop. The smell went away but we're hopefully getting it checked tomorrow...

At least it did a good job of distracting me from the fact that this day last year I spent the day in hospital.

Thanks to the fabulous Tim from Random House I managed to get my mitts on a proof for the new Katie Fforde so I've decided my evening will be well spent by running a hot Lush bath and spending a few hours reading my new book, drinking wine and eating chocolate. That way I should get a good nights sleep to cope with whatever the real Thursday decides to throw at me!

Secrets

After we'd opened our Valentine's cards this morning (my first in three years!) Anthony made me toss a coin to choose my present. I chose Tails, and so it was. He then told me that Heads would have meant a trip to the jewelers to buy a nice bit of bling, but that Tails was a surprise still and I can't have it until my week off.

So I have a whole week and a half longer to wait! Arrgh!

Other than that we had lovely steak sandwiches and after he went off to work (5-1 shift this week) I've watched Breakfast at Tiffany's and Chocolat. Nice films and a lovely evening.

I've been fuzzy stressed recently, not stressed about anything in particular, just remembering what was going on this time last year really. Plus we went to a wedding on Saturday where I spent most of the time trying not to cry over the fantastically cute 4-month old baby that was there. I calmed myself down my working out how many days til I can start divorce proceedings...

Can't wait for my break from work. I've needed it for ages and then with all the changes that are going on I've got to the point where I'm dreaming about work again and just can't switch off. That was one of the things that was nice about today, being able not to think about work for a bit.

Oh, the changes?
Our manager has gone to another branch for six months, so we have a new manager (Ian) to replace her. Then our assistant manager has gone to replace Ian at his branch so Richie Fingers has stepped up to be our assistant manager. Add into this Campbelli doing her CRSM job two days a week, Fi and Phil doing extra hours to compensate and the fact we're all trying to fit in holiday...it's a little hectic. But all still fun - if it wasn't for the idiots we get in our shop. But that's a whole different story...