Bad Girl

I know I'm a crap blogger at the moment, I just can't seem to get anything to stick together enough to write it down.

But I did photograph my new shoes for you, even if I have not written about looking for them and asking the salesgirl for "impossible shoes really. Cream sandals, must have an ankle strap, preferably a kitten heel that's no more than an inch" - "Yup, they're impossible shoes" she said, and sold me those instead. Well I say sold me, sold Anthony actually. But he picked them out and I'm going to wear them at two separate parties in the next month so that justifies the price (which Emily would say is not a lot for shoes but I think they were expensive). (Oh, I wrote about it...w00t!)

Go and play the first line guessing game on Michelle's blog instead and I shall go and play some more WoW and make notes whenever I think of something I could possibly blog about.

This week I has been mostly...

...squeezing gunk into my eye.

My eye flared up again on Tuesday and off I trotted to the eye infirmary to get them to sort it out. Verdict - possibly an allergic reaction, possibly due to pollen. POSSIBLY bloody nothing, if you don't know what the fuck it is then say so!

Ahem.

Anyways, more gunk for another week and more only being able to see out of my left eye, so yet more pirate jokes from Anthony and more pokes in the ribs from Rich D.

Meh.

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Today however I have been attempting to do some housework. (I hate that word). Washing up and laundry, yawn. But I am also a happy bunny. The other day I ordered a lovely Moroccan Footstool from Additions. I love the look of the things but have never had the cash. Now I have one and it was pretty damn cheap. Ok, so it's not truly perfect, and it doesn't smell of leather (mmmm) but hey, it does the job I need it too and fits with my style.

I was also thinking about my "style" the other day. When we were round at Angie's (my ex-next-door-neighbour) her other half Paul (who'd just driven me and A to and from the eye infirmary) described my style as Swedish something-or-other (I will find out exactly what he called it and put it here). It's what he also described Angie's taste as. He was saying that the number of times he's seen something and thought she'd like it, and then she's seen it and said how much I'd like it is just ridiculous.

Eclectic is how I tend to think of it I guess. I like shabby chic - but not all the floral. I like the New England type of style, lots of white and blue. But at the same time I love the dark wood of my dining table, and long to upgrade my bookcases to the Leksvik ones (which Angie just happens to have too). So my footstool doesn't really fit with the shabby chic/New England bit of my style, it goes in with the jewelled cushions and exotic side.

I think partly my dislike for florals is cos I'm just not that girly (as discussed before). But I do like some florals, in fact I adore my Cath Kidston writing paper - I just don't really want my sofas covered in it. I think it's a case of less is more, I might have some of her napkins but only with a plain white tablecloth (which would be very impractical in this house).

I am rambling now and losing my thread.

Happy happy, joy joy.

So you've had a bit of a pants day but you're being good and not just eating crap when you get in.

Then your mother phones, she asks how you are, you tell her, she tells you not to moan to her...and then moans to you.

Pizza and beer for tea then.

Meh.

(I love my mother really, I really do. But sometimes, just no.)

Ranty Ranty Stress Stress

I don't have a coping mechanism at the moment. That might sound strange so let me explain. When I was in my early teens and stressed about school I had a surefire way of releasing all that stress and feeling better, what Wikipedia refers to as "Self Injury". (the motives bit explains it perfectly.) When in the Upper Sixth and at uni, vodka was my cushion between me and the real world. Now however I don't have the ability to do either. Ability is the wrong word really, but I promised myself a very long time ago that the cutting had to be out and it never even crosses my mind when I get stressed (except when I'm thinking about it like this) and the vodka is very much not an option as apart from anything else I don't have the money to drink the way I used to!

But just writing all that has helped.

Today I had one job to do at work. Admittedly a big job, but easily doable in a day even with breaks to serve customers. I didn't get it done, mainly because one of my coworkers kept interrupting me to complain about the fact that they kept getting interrupted and couldn't finish what they were trying to do. So RichieFingers listened to me rant about that which helped, and I shall finish my task tomorrow!

Anthony is working 5-1 this week which is adding to my general grumpiness. I won't be seeing him til Saturday (at about 2am) and I miss him, and not just because he cooks me lovely food...

In other news my kitchen is still looking pretty good after my ex-next-door-neighbour Angela came round last Wednesday and organised me and did my washing-up. She'd popped in on Tues to ask when my day off was and if I wanted to do anything, but on Wed I was more than a little bit meh so she came round and made me feel lots better. Thankyou Angela!

I got to speak to Campbelli today who is still enjoying herself in her new job, and still enjoying the novelty of living with her lovely Jamie, although she is unimpressed with housework...

Gavin has been keeping us all entertained at work with his general Indiana Jonesness, although the cheeky bugger is having a long weekend so isn't hanging out for the whole of our Monday-Friday slog this week.

Other Happy Things
1) Mum's cross stitch is really coming along. (I shall post a picture).
2) I really enjoyed the new Sarah Dessen book The Truth About Forever (even though I wasn't sure how it would affect me) and have reread Just Listen.
3) The new Formula One season guide is out (I'm ignoring Hamilton all over the cover - that's a rant all of its own! Although they have changed it to include a small pic of Kimi, the ACTUAL champion!)
4) Caroline went to Malta!
5) I have been reading David's blog and thinking about philosphical things I haven't thought about in years.
6) The puzzled looks on Liz and Gavin's faces this morning when I said "Last night I got myself a new top and some trousers...and a lovely dagger" - In Warcraft that would be.
7) Anthony has got his hands on seasons 2,3 and 4 of Charmed.
8) I had a £40 Virgin Wine voucher arrive in the post.
9) It's only 17 days until I can get divorced!

Distracted again

I'm a bit discombobulated at the moment (oooh, I love that word).

I keep wanting to do things and then either talking myself out of them or just getting distracted. They're not big things, just little bits of stuff usually, but I don't seem to be able to get anywhere doing them.

(Even this blog post, it was all making sense in my head til I started typing...)

This is why I have been flaking I guess. Saturday was a very relaxed day - 7 episodes of E.R. and lots and lots of stitching. Sunday was shopping and WoW. I guess it just feels like I'm doing nothing with my time and that I should be doing more, but when I do I get stressed and snappy and generally am not fit to be out in public.

I've been vaguely thinking (again) about doing an OU course, but agin I don't know which course, I don't want to pick one and then hate it and feel like it was a waste of money, I don't want to sign up and then not do it "because I've got no time" even though I so have.

It's all just a bit meh.

On the bright side:

1) Mum's stitching is really coming along.
2) I've got Anthony hooked on Charmed.
3) I'd forgotten just how much I loved George Clooney as Doug Ross.
4) We're going shopping for a BIG shiny tv in a minute.
5) My 42 games game just arrived so I have something other than Sudoku to do on the DS.
6) I got the new Sarah Dessen proof today.
7) After spending three whole days doing "related product" (cards/notebooks/giftwrap) last week it's all done and I can get back to doing book stuff.
8) I got Tanara up to level 60 and Crimsone up to 40 on WoW. (and bought Crimsone a big red emu bird as a mount)
9) I've discovered a Mornington Crescent game on Facebook!

Meh

Having a very bad day today so instead of misery you can have one of my Wiki lists.

1. 84 Charing Cross Road
2. Frank Doel
3. Bookselling
4. Bookstore Tourism
5. Wine Tourism
6. Winemaking
7. Champagne
8. Dreyfus Affair
9. Nazism
10. Jingoism
11. UN-American
12. Hollywood Blacklist
13. Charlie Chaplin
14. Thomas Harper Ince
15. William Randolph Hearst

Cold and Grumpy

That about sums me up at the moment. I'm having one of those times where I can't really get warm, then if I do I'm TOO warm. meh.

I also have a stinky cold.

I opted out of the world last night and curled up on the sofa to read my new book The Mitfords - Letters Between Six Sisters which I bought with my dad's birthday voucher that he never got to spend. (I figured I'd better buy something vaguely "serious" with it). It's brilliant and absorbed my attention all evening. Poor Anthony had no option but to spend the evening going through dungeons on WoW.

If it hadn't been for last night I don't know how I would have coped with today. Vast quantities of stupid questions from customers, an overly concerned colleague who can't seem to stop saying "how are you/your mum/your sister/Anthony/the cats?" and then today told me she'd been thinking of things to do for my divorce party. I know she means well but what!!! *deep breathing*

I did have a rather nice moment when I discovered something on our work discussion boards. Ages ago I had a problem with Lynx needing Irish postcodes (you just put EIRE in the box instead) and a nice chap called myincubliss_in_canterbury helped me out. Then when someone else had the same problem I answered them. I got thanked and told them to send their thanks to myincubliss as he was the true hero. Today I was on there looking for something and happened to click on myincubliss's profile - where in the quotes section is my comment thanking them! That instantly made my day!

In other news that is not very interesting but about as interesting as it gets, I went to the library last night and got myself some books to read including the new Phil Rickman book The Fabric of Sin. I like these books, they always turn up at the right moments. I read the first few quite a long while ago (in fact, I borrowed them from Mab which puts it about 2004) and then have found the new ones as and when. I haven't read the previous one but will pick that up tomorrow, in the meantime this one wants reading now. It's a bit ghosty which means I shall not have to read too much in bed as Anthony is back in Brum tonight. It also meant that when I was in the bathroom and reading it (long having finished what I'd gone in there to do) and the mirror fell off the wall - I jumped very slightly. I didn't squeak though!

I am going to my warm sofa (with hot water bottle, blankets and cats) to eat some Wispas and read some more.

To Do List

1. Wake up to Foley purring in my ear.
2. Have fairly productive morning at work.
3. Have horribly frustrating and unproductive afternoon at work.
4. Walk Campbelli to her car and share rants about work.
5. Get home to letter from bank informing me that because I have gone £30 over my overdraft (due to a £30 charge they did not inform me about), they will be charging me £30.
6. Throw boots across room in frustration and burst into tears.
7. Put on "Mr Brightside" very loudly and sing along.
8. Make delicious Black Russian.
9. Sing along loudly to "Fat Bottomed Girls", then turn music down as remember that double-glazing is pants and if I can hear the "brothers" sitting on the wall outside, they can hear me.
10. Blog.
11. Check email/blogs/FaceBook.
12. Put on pizza for tea.
13. Make another delicious Black Russian.
14. Earn 90 gold on Warcraft. while eating pizza, watching CSI and making more Black Russians when required.
15. Buy flying mount.
16. Go to bed feeling better.

Selection from Thursday's To-Do List.

1. Buy more vodka and Tia Maria for making Black Russians.
2. Go to bank.
3. Have better day at work.

Gone'd

My ability to blog seems to have vanished into the ether.

I think of something to write about, but when I start to write, it stops.

This is why it has been so quiet and Kimi having a shit has been at the top of my blog for so long.

I am trying to find my blogging ability so some posts should hopefully start appearing again soon.

I hope I find it soon as I have already been spoken to sharply about my lack of posting, and if I don't post soon I am worried that Campbelli will find something to stand on so she can clip me round the ear for not writing.

I go to hunt down inspiration...