Random Stuff and Ramblings

Come on Over

2008-07-20T22:45:00.001+01:00

Three Things

2008-07-20T12:19:00.002+01:00

Hello.

Changes are afoot, and you will find out more later.

For now:

1) I had a lovely time in Cardiff watching my sister graduate.
2) Some silly bint did a Hamilton on us yesterday (ran into the back of us at a red light) and now my neck feels funny.
3) We have won £10 in each of the last three lottery draws - all with my line of numbers.

F1 in my head

2008-07-11T08:22:00.007+01:00

I was going to have a lie-in this morning...unfortunately I had a nightmare and so I'm up early.

The nightmare was a strange one...I was at work, at Christmas, and attempting to merchandise the charts - with ten Lewis Hamilton hardbacks and twenty Lewis Hamilton paperbacks...

The thing is, last Christmas there were 7 biographies of him, plus his official autobiography. But if he actually wins the championship this year then my nightmare might become real!

I think this dream was a delayed reaction to the broadcasting bias of the British Grand Prix last Sunday.

Don't get me wrong, I loved watching it. It was the first race this year that I've watched with Emily and Brychan (which always makes it better), plus the fact it was a wet race meant that lots of people spun off in humorous ways (most of them near to Sebastian Bourdais - I think he has his own gravitational field that was throwing people off).

The problem with it was actually the same problem that has plagued all the races this year - ITV and James Allen having multiple orgasms over Lewis' ability to "race".

James decided to compare Lewis' race to Senna's race at Donington, which made Anthony hit the roof.
Let's just go into that shall we... Lewis was second on the first corner, and took five laps to pass his team mate (who rather obviously moved off the racing line) - Senna was fifth on the first corner, and first by the end of the first lap having passed Schumacher, Wendlinger, Hill and Prost (that will be passing his three championship rivals and another driver for good measure).

I think that if James Allen compares Lewis to Ayrton one more time, Anthony will track him down and follow Coulthard's lead.

Now, don't get me wrong, when Lewis started racing last year I was looking forward to seeing a British driver racing for the championship. But after ITV have declared him the "People's Champion", decided that every single track guide lap should be one of Lewis', interviewed his dad rather than show an interview with the race winner (on the numerous occasions the winner has not been Lewis)...

Plus Lewis himself has changed from a guy who was very eager to push himself as a normal home-loving guy, British first, black second; into a guy who has *moved* to Switzerland "to avoid the media scrum", who has a celebrity girlfriend and lots of new celebrity friends (like P Diddy, who did a Black Power salute when Lewis won at Monaco), who cites Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King as his two biggest heroes (but then muddled up a MLK quote in his press conference).

*breathe*

I shall stop ranting now, but this fabulous cartoon sums up the Hamilton hype quite nicely.

Frock

2008-07-07T20:06:00.002+01:00

Frock2
Originally uploaded by Petronella Rose.

Pictures

2008-06-26T12:52:00.003+01:00

Michelle has just done a lovely picture meme and so here is mine.

1. a lovely evening cruise, 2. eye candy!, 3. wyrdwoods_MC_03, 4. Mom's dried roses, 5. Jared Leto, 6. Cactus Club Cafe bellini, 7. I want to be where the Sun warms the sky, 8. Yes....oh....YESS, 9. Best little book store in the world, 10. bookshelf spectrum, revisited, 11. Bookish creature, 12. Petronella de la Court’s Dutch Cabinet

Here’s how you play:
type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search.
using only the first page, choose an image.
copy and paste each of the URL’s into the mosaic maker over at FD’s image maker.

The questions:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favourite food?

3. What high school did you attend?

4. What is your favourite colour?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. Favourite drink?

7. Dream vacation?

8. Favourite dessert?

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. One word to describe you.

12. Your flickr name.

Cattitude Problem

2008-06-26T12:04:00.003+01:00

Esme doesn't like it when I clean or tidy. She'll sit there and watch me and then wander off and express her displeasure.

Sometimes this is by waiting until I have a full black bag and then chewing a hole in the bottom of it. Sometimes she will knock over the big pile of books that I have just collected from all over the house (a very common occurrence).

Usually she just goes and wees in the bath.

Today however she found a new way of expressing herself.

Because I was cleaning the bathroom the bath was full of bleach so she decided to wee somewhere else.

She chose the washing basket.

When I'm doing a load of washing I leave the basket on the floor in front of the machine so that I can just pull it out straight into it, luckily I was using the white basket so I noticed the next time I went into the kitchen. (I'm oh so very glad it wasn't the red one...)

Esme is now sulking in the armchair, the washing has been hung out (after being put in the red basket) and the white basket is full of hot water and bleach and sitting in my nice clean bath.

I must also confess that while my first reaction was Bloody cat!, my second reaction was that of a small child... Look at all that wee! *giggle*.

House of Many Ways - Nom Nom Nom Nom

2008-06-24T18:22:00.005+01:00

After reading Caroline's post about shopping for books and seeing her mention Garden Spells at the end, I decided to read it again.

So I took it to work with me this morning, and read the first chapter or so while waiting for our morning meeting to start (and then delayed the meeting slightly by raving about it when Bod asked me if it was any good (having sold one to Jo after I'd recommended it to her))... anyways, so I planned to read it again today.

Then all my plans went out the window when Donal phoned up from Goods In to tell me that House of Many Ways had just arrived. So naturally I read that instead.

Once again, Diana Wynne Jones has written a brilliant book. Now it's "A chaotically magical sequel to Howl's Moving Castle" so I was very much looking forward to reading a little more about Sophie and Howl (and Calcifer) - and I wasn't disappointed. One of the things I loved was the dog called Waif. Now in the film (that Scott Pack prefers) there is a dog called Heen that is small, scruffy and very wheezy. Heen doesn't appear in the book, the dog in the book is the combination of Wizard Suliman and Prince Justin that the Witch creates (another bit dropped/mixed up from the film, read about him here and discover the whole point of the scarecrow turning into Prince Justin (something Richie Fingers asked me about)).

Ahem.

Anyways, Waif is basically Heen, but with a new name and new purpose. I love the fact that she's taken this film character and transplanted it into a new book!

Now if none of that makes any sense, I do apologise - basically I recommend it!
(and I've now seen the American cover and may just have to buy that edition too...)

Sunday Reading

2008-06-22T11:38:00.005+01:00

A few weeks ago I was tidying the kids table at work and picked up a book called Stoneheart. Now I'd been picking this up and looking at it for a while. I liked the cover and loved the first part of the back cover blurb...

Deep in the City something had been woken, something so old and so ordinary that people had been walking past it for centuries without giving it a second look...

So I opened it up and read the first couple of pages. Then I walked over to the shelf and picked up the second book Iron Hand. Then I put them on our reservations shelf until lunchtime when I bought them both (as well as the new Sarah Dessen book, Lock and Key).
I read all of Stoneheart in my lunch break then I polished off Iron Hand at home that evening. Then I read them both again a week later.

Now I read a lot of kids books, I read a lot of books full-stop, but these... It was like the first time I read The Hobbit/Howl's Moving Castle/Saffy's Angel/I Capture The Castle. Just oh-my-god-that's-so-good!

Someone else loves them too.

I now have to wait until September for the third book Silvertongue - I may just explode with impatience before then.

One of the reasons I found these books so amazing was the way that while I was reading I was in London. There is a wonderful passage where the Raven has been sent to fetch the Minotaur...

In a direct line between him and the gherkin, about half a mile in front of it, was the eastern edge of a massive complex of concrete and glass, like a fortress assembled from ziggurats and thin spiky towers. Inside the boundaries of this futuristic urban citadel there were fountains and walkways on different levels, and there was more concrete. The Raven knew that below the surface of the southern end of this sprawl had once run the ancient city wall. And he could remember when the dwarfed white church marooned in a startling patch of green within the cement bastion had been the tallest building in the area.

Now as soon as I read that, I knew it was the Barbican. I've been there enough times to know it, I'd just not necessarily have described it like that, but it's a perfect description.

These books have meant that my much wanted trip to London will now be featuring a tour of the statues mentioned in the books. I've managed to find some photos of a couple of them, The Sphinx and The Royal Artillery Memorial, but I want to see all of them. I want to see the Grid Man, the clock where they hide, the statue of Icarus and the lair of the Minotaur.

If these books had been published twenty years ago, I would have been taking that tour with my dad as he'd have loved these books. Instead I shall take my camera and Anthony (bribed with a visit to the F1 shop and the Imperial War Museum) and make it my third reason for my trip to London.

Bad Girl

2008-06-17T18:28:00.007+01:00

I know I'm a crap blogger at the moment, I just can't seem to get anything to stick together enough to write it down.

But I did photograph my new shoes for you, even if I have not written about looking for them and asking the salesgirl for "impossible shoes really. Cream sandals, must have an ankle strap, preferably a kitten heel that's no more than an inch" - "Yup, they're impossible shoes" she said, and sold me those instead. Well I say sold me, sold Anthony actually. But he picked them out and I'm going to wear them at two separate parties in the next month so that justifies the price (which Emily would say is not a lot for shoes but I think they were expensive). (Oh, I wrote about it...w00t!)

Go and play the first line guessing game on Michelle's blog instead and I shall go and play some more WoW and make notes whenever I think of something I could possibly blog about.

New Cream Shoes

2008-06-13T17:20:00.002+01:00

CreamShoes2
Originally uploaded by Petronella Rose.

New Cream Shoes

2008-06-13T17:19:00.002+01:00

CreamShoes1
Originally uploaded by Petronella Rose.

My own Moving Castle.

2008-05-29T20:37:00.004+01:00

After my discovery of a cardboard Moving Castle earlier (now sadly unavailable unless it appears on eBay) I have got the book to read in bed tonight and put the film on to watch while I eat/play WoW.

Watching the film does make me go "Nooooo, that's so not right!" every five minutes or so although I do like the way old/young Sophie blend every now and again), a bit like LOTR really. But I do like Billy Crystal as Calcifer's voice. To honour the film I have been playing one of my alternate characters on WoW - my Blood Elf hunter Sophee and her pet lynx Calcifer.

I have also managed to find this lovely link to a downloadable model of the Moving Castle.

Now all I need is a printer...

Itchy Fingers

2008-05-29T17:44:00.005+01:00

When I was at home over the weekend I was looking through a few of the photo albums and in one of the Christmas pictures I spotted a craft book that I remembered very well.

It was one for making gift boxes, and the book had in it all these cut-out shapes that you used to make the boxes. I can remember spending hours making those things, I loved doing it. Another year I had a dragon book and made 9-10 different dragon mobiles, and another time I had an Escher book where you could make these shapes that rotated to show off the tessalating designs.

I bought my two copies of the Unseen University Cut Out Book but I'm nervous about starting the thing when I haven't made anything for such a long while. (The Escher things are the last I can remember making and that was in early 1995).

So I thought I'd have a pootle about on t'interweb but while I've found lots of printable templates for things that I don't really like the look of anyway, I've found next to no books (barring all the Usborne ones).

But I did just find this and I'm now deeply in love with it. Despite the fact it's not the proper castle (the one from the book), I still like the film and would still like to make the thing.
(Scott Pack has just finished reading the book and is being told just how wrong his opinion of it is.)

Prepare yourself for the possibility of more paper model related posts, and if I manage to track down anything I want (and can afford) then there might have to be pictures of work in progress.

Gah.

2008-05-28T18:10:00.005+01:00

I am wet. Some twat of a boy racer decided that it would be funny to slow down as though he was going to let me cross the road, and then to zoom past through a huge puddle as I stepped off the kerb. But I was a very good girl and didn't make an obscene gesture at him (mainly cos this is Wolverhampton and he'd probably have shot me).

So being very soggy I have broken my new habit of not sitting down at the computer until 7pm. This was a very new habit as I only started it yesterday, but in that computer-less hour yesterday I managed to make my dining room look like a dining room - you can see the table top! If I can keep the habit up (I do have tomorrow off so I'll do an extra hour then) I should have a tidy(ish) house in no time.

Since my dress post - and thank you for all the lovely comments and hello to the new people - I have been back to Essex for the weekend and I took it with me. I didn't wear it, but my mother likes it and suggested I wear it to my old friend Jodie's 30th birthday party in July. Depending on the weather... I might. I still have not found any shoes to go with it, although I haven't really looked too hard. I shall have to prod my shoe guru and see what she can find me. I'm thinking cream, open-toe, low kitten heel.

In other shoe related news, I have ordered these lovely things to wear to work instead of my CAT boots. I ordered them in an 8 which were too small so I'm just waiting for a pair of 9's to arrive. But today I realised that Jo (who is back working for us again) was wearing a pair of the things too! She agrees that they are very comfortable but that the silly rubberband-round-button fastening is not the best.

Edit: My Shoe Guru is my sister Emily, who just commented to me (on the phone) that she wasn't sure if I meant her or "some weird bit of your brain". It's now going to be one of her summer projects, although since I need them by the 4th of July it had better not take her all summer.

Girlishness - I don't really have it.

2008-05-16T13:57:00.004+01:00

My gene for face masks, shoes, earrings, gossip magazines and dresses seems to have been mostly taken over by the one for Warcraft, football, motor racing and CAT boots.

However, I think it's planning a comeback.

As well as that footstool I just mentioned, I also ordered a dress from Additions.

It's from the Trinny & Susannah collection which very much put me off at first as I really quite dislike that pair. They're just a bit too mean for me and I'll stick with the lovely Gok.
But this here dress has changed my mind a little.

I liked it on the page, so I thought I'd order it and if it's crap I can just send it back.

Oh. My. God.

It's beautiful. Not quite as nice as the sexiest-dress-in-the-world but it comes very close. It's not as dressy as that dress which is the main reason (men everywhere will be puzzled by that sentence).

This dress is lighter and floatier, and also much more forgiving.

But the real reason I think it awoke my girly gene...I tried it on and thought:

"I'm gonna need some new shoes to go with this."

(What's that? You want to SEE the dress... sorry. Here it is)

This week I has been mostly...

2008-05-16T13:35:00.002+01:00

...squeezing gunk into my eye.

My eye flared up again on Tuesday and off I trotted to the eye infirmary to get them to sort it out. Verdict - possibly an allergic reaction, possibly due to pollen. POSSIBLY bloody nothing, if you don't know what the fuck it is then say so!

Ahem.

Anyways, more gunk for another week and more only being able to see out of my left eye, so yet more pirate jokes from Anthony and more pokes in the ribs from Rich D.

Meh.

------------------

Today however I have been attempting to do some housework. (I hate that word). Washing up and laundry, yawn. But I am also a happy bunny. The other day I ordered a lovely Moroccan Footstool from Additions. I love the look of the things but have never had the cash. Now I have one and it was pretty damn cheap. Ok, so it's not truly perfect, and it doesn't smell of leather (mmmm) but hey, it does the job I need it too and fits with my style.

I was also thinking about my "style" the other day. When we were round at Angie's (my ex-next-door-neighbour) her other half Paul (who'd just driven me and A to and from the eye infirmary) described my style as Swedish something-or-other (I will find out exactly what he called it and put it here). It's what he also described Angie's taste as. He was saying that the number of times he's seen something and thought she'd like it, and then she's seen it and said how much I'd like it is just ridiculous.

Eclectic is how I tend to think of it I guess. I like shabby chic - but not all the floral. I like the New England type of style, lots of white and blue. But at the same time I love the dark wood of my dining table, and long to upgrade my bookcases to the Leksvik ones (which Angie just happens to have too). So my footstool doesn't really fit with the shabby chic/New England bit of my style, it goes in with the jewelled cushions and exotic side.

I think partly my dislike for florals is cos I'm just not that girly (as discussed before). But I do like some florals, in fact I adore my Cath Kidston writing paper - I just don't really want my sofas covered in it. I think it's a case of less is more, I might have some of her napkins but only with a plain white tablecloth (which would be very impractical in this house).

I am rambling now and losing my thread.

Still feeling pants, so here's some more books

2008-05-08T18:31:00.004+01:00

My eye is getting better, but is pissing me off. I'm not good at waiting for things, and also not good at squeezing goop into my eye. So having to apply goop four times a day is very annoying and it feels like I've been doing it forever rather than just since Monday. I'm getting used to only being able to really see out of one eye though (due to the wearing of only one lens). Unfortunately my partial blindness means that Rich D can sneak up on me (from the right) and jab me in the ribs...

Bookwise I actually went to the library today, it's been ages since I went (according to my library 'tag' it was Oct) although I have been dutifully renewing my books.

This time I went with a little bit of a list made up by browsing the tables at work for things that I quite want to read but that are very low down on my buying list.
So I have...

Wicked, Gregory Maguire - because Emily will be shocked that I haven't read it yet.
The House of Lost Souls, F.G. Cottam - spotted at work.
French Women for all Seasons, Mireille Guiliano - I have (and like) the first book and spotted this on my way to the desk so though it was worth grabbing.
A Tangled Summer, Caroline Kington - spotted while looking for something else and I liked the cover.
The Yiddish Policemen's Union, Michael Chabon - I loved Kavalier & Clay and have been resisting this at work with difficulty.

A book I would like to whole-heartedly recommend is Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen. I got my hands on a copy of this yesterday and read it all in a gulp. Very very much like Alice Hoffman I think, certainly the setting of the story if not so much of the descriptiveness (is that actually a word?) Anyway, it's fab. Go and grab a copy and read it sitting in a sunny spot.
I didn't get to read it in a sunny spot as I only get to see the sun on my trudge home. I have the weekend off, just as the weather is supposed to turn...meh.

Feeling pants, so here's some books.

2008-05-04T17:16:00.003+01:00

I've just spent two hours standing in the waiting room of our local emergency doctors.
My right eye has been sore for a week and last night it started in with shooting pains whenever I looked at light. So this morning we phoned NHS Direct, then went to the centre, then went to the eye infirmary. I haven't got any scratches or anything but it might be an infection...so I have to go back tomorrow for a swab. Since I'm working tomorrow I have to be there at 9 or they can't see me. This Bank Holiday is being a bit crap.

It was also a life changing day. It's the first time I've worn my glasses out of the house since 1997. Seriously. The only reason I did back then was cos I'd lost a lens and had a driving lesson. Even when we went to Spain I put my lenses in to go from the room to the pool, and walked round the water park half-blind.

Before I get evicted to the sofa (where I can't read or sew according to Anthony) here is something I stole from Michelle.

The Top 106 Books Most Often Marked As “Unread” By LibraryThing’s Users.

Strike-through books you’ve read before.
Italicize books you’ve read before but haven’t finished.
Copy and paste on your blog to see how “pretentious” you are.

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
~~Wuthering Heights~~
~~The Silmarillion~~
Life of Pi : a novel
The Aeneid
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
~~Moby Dick~~
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
~~Pride and Prejudice~~
~~Jane Eyre~~
The Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
~~Emma~~
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
~~American Gods~~
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
~~The Historian : a novel~~
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
~~Frankenstein~~
The Count of Monte Cristo
~~Dracula~~
A Clockwork Orange
~~Anansi Boys~~
~~The Once and Future King~~
~~The Grapes of Wrath~~
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
~~1984~~
~~Angels & Demons~~
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
~~Sense and Sensibility~~
~~The Picture of Dorian Gray~~
~~Mansfield Park~~
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
~~Tess of the D’Urbervilles~~
~~Oliver Twist~~
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
~~The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay~~
~~The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time~~
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
~~A Short History of Nearly Everything~~
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter
~~Eats, Shoots & Leaves~~
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
~~Persuasion~~
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
~~Watership Down~~
Gravity’s Rainbow
~~The Hobbit~~
In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
White Teeth
~~Treasure Island~~
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

Total: read 28, unfinished 7. Michelle got a percentage but I can't be bothered trying to sort it out. Basically this list tells me that I try to finish books and that I don't read things "just because I should" - I don't even own things because I should!

Healed...

2008-05-02T21:29:00.004+01:00

...by Phish Food.

Ahem.

I followed the lead of wonderful Caroline when on my day off yesterday by adding Google Reader. I spent a happy half hour or so adding blogs to it and then getting it set up to my satisfaction. The only problem with the bloody thing is that when I'm trying to fill in time by reading blogs...it cuts this time right down.

Luckily Michelle is discovering some new ones for me!

Hopefully once my sister gets into RADA (not trying to jinx you, doing the positive thinking thing) then she will blog more (even if it will all be about technical lighting stuff etc).

Now I'm back off to Outland and then early to bed.

Happy happy, joy joy.

2008-05-02T19:17:00.002+01:00

So you've had a bit of a pants day but you're being good and not just eating crap when you get in.

Then your mother phones, she asks how you are, you tell her, she tells you not to moan to her...and then moans to you.

Pizza and beer for tea then.

Meh.

(I love my mother really, I really do. But sometimes, just no.)

Productive and relaxing, in turns.

2008-04-24T18:13:00.003+01:00

I'm having a lovely holiday week so far. Apart from the fact that it seems to be going by much too fast (helped by the fact I was at work on Sat/Sun and that Anthony was here on Monday) it's been going well.

I've got 13 ticks against my 20 item to-do list, although I still have to tackle the boxes upstairs that need both sorting out and then breaking up for recycling.

Today however has been less productive. I woke up feeling miserable (partly due to scary dreams about dentists) and opened the curtains to a dark sky that promptly opened up and rained so hard that it freaked the cats out. I overdid it on the pc yesterday (as well as earning 7 ticks) so couldn't even get excited about playing some WoW.

What's a girl to do?

Well in this case she gets lots of cushions on the sofa, organises herself a nice drink (of Whittard's Blackcurrant and Elderflower Tea) and gets her sewing out. Then she puts on a film...

When I say a film, I mean a few films, in fact I mean the extended editions of LOTR. I've seen the first two and have Return of the King to watch tomorrow (as I think 8 hours of film is enough for today).

I adore the book, and I love the films almost as much. I hate the bits they cut from the story, the same bits they always cut - Tom Bombadil and the Barrow Wights, and I'm still bugged by them pretending to kill Aragorn off in that whole Warg battle scene.

But I do love the bit when Aragorn tells Eowyn that he's 87...looks damn good for his age that man. Wonder if he'd have looked as good at 6500 as Elrond does though.

I love my sister

2008-04-23T16:51:00.003+01:00

She's just phoned me to apologise.

"I'm really sorry Kate."

"What?"

"I've just gone into Waterstone's and they didn't have the other book that I wanted, so I left the Marian Keyes book that I was holding in the Sci-Fi and Fantasy section and now I've gone into Borders."

"Oh Emily. You don't need to apologise for going into Borders. Leaving a Marian Keyes book in Sci-Fi though..."

"I know, I know."

"Hang on a sec, where are you phoning from?"

"Erm...Borders."

"So you're apologising for leaving a book in the wrong place by phoning me from inside a bookshop?"

"Erm...sorry."

Borders didn't have what she was after either so she's gone to Forbidden Planet just in case, and then her last resort will be WH Smiths.

Friday Night

2008-04-14T18:55:00.002+01:00

Friday Night
Originally uploaded by Petronella Rose.

In my posh dress, as taken by Miss Katie of W on her phone (which is why it's blurry, but I like that!)

How old am I supposed to feel anyway?

2008-04-13T10:01:00.004+01:00

I went out with Miss Katie of W on Friday night (Campbelli was going to come too but then had to work the late shift *sob* *sniff*). I'd told her about my dressed-up evening last week so she decided I had to get dressed up in it again and then we'd go out and paint the town red.

At least that was the plan.

In reality when she arrived at my house she zipped through my wardrobe (and the piles on the floor...) and decided that I should wear the sexiest dress in the world instead. I protested in vain. It's a summer dress I said. I'll look like an idiot wearing that in the pub I said. Nope, no weakening from her so I put it on (with my red shoes) and off we went.

The Royal wasn't too bad, felt pretty good in there. The Hogshead was a bit strange though as it's a very chavvy pub. But the strangest place was where we ended up.

Now when I go out dancing I want dancy music. Now that doesn't mean dance music, it means things like *whispers* (Abba). Instead Jess took us off to the Light Bar...where they play what I would call indie music. Nice to listen to, difficult to dance to when I'm not completely pissed.

Now don't get me wrong, it was a nice place and I had a good time, I just felt old. Not because I felt I stuck out in the dress, but because the only songs that I knew well enough were either classics - My Generation - or were things that came out the first time round - like Blur and Pulp.

Pulp was the killer one though. I was singing along to Disco 2000 and remembering Stimpy inventing some crazy dance to it back in 6th form...and then I realised that pretty much everyone else in the room would have been in primary school when that came out. Ow.

Yeah, so I'm old. But I very rarely feel like I'm gonna be 30 this year, which is a good thing. (and Katie's friend Jo refused to believe I was older than 26 which helps). But at the same time I feel like I should feel older, like I should be more sensible and responsible by now...

Hmmm.

You'd think that I should do by now. I'm gonna go and fill in some of my divorce paperwork (whoooooooooooooo) and hope that helps.

(Katie has tagged some pics of me on FaceBook and I couldn't remember when they were taken, until I went back to that red shoes post and realised it must have been that night!)

Random Dad Fact #4

2008-04-08T18:27:00.003+01:00

Many many years ago (ok, 1992) Dad wandered into my bedroom one evening and re tuned my radio from Radio One to...well, to birdsong!

He'd heard that they were testing the frequency that Classic FM was going to be broadcast on by playing (among other things) a recording of birdsong from someones countryside garden. I used to listen to it when I could, taping it when possible and then playing the tape at night as I went to sleep. I even had a kind of meditation that went with it (not that I thought of it as a meditation, it was just me daydreaming).

Then today I was watching Breakfast on BBC1 and they started playing the birdsong again.

The story about it is here.

I shall be listening as much as possible, just wish I had a way of taping it again.

All dressed up and no place to go...

2008-04-04T19:24:00.004+01:00

Anthony is on nights at the moment.

I hate it when he works nights.

Ok, so it's better than the 5-1 shift cos I can at least talk to him in the evenings and we can play WoW together.

But I still hate it.

I miss him too much.

Silly Kate.

So I am cheering myself up by reading ALL of the Stephanie Plum books. I am up to book 10 which means I have 3 more to go and then a gap as book 14 is not published until June. Have no fear, I have lined up all the Rachel Morgan books (by Kim Harrison) and all of Kelley Armstrong's books to follow on with.

But at the moment I want to be a bounty hunter and hang out with Lula and flirt with Morelli and daydream (and get nervous about) Ranger.

The books have definitely made me feel more kick-ass and chirpy though. So chirpy in fact that on Wednesday when I had overslept and felt a bit pants and so had cherry coke and M&M's for lunch - a customer gave me his mobile number.

Another side effect is that I want to dress up a bit. So I am sitting here in my nice black kitten heels and a sexy black frock. Unfortunately I have no Bucks Fizz (to drink from a pink champagne glass) so I am making do with a litre bottle of Stella instead.

This explains why my typing is like this...and also why I think I just scared the milkman when I opened the door holding my drink, oops!

Drinking and Random Dad Fact #3

2008-04-03T12:19:00.004+01:00

It was Jo's leaving do on Saturday night, and after a quick stop in The Litten Tree (packed full of Wolves fans watching their team get thrashed, Man U fans watching their team win and various chavs) we dashed through the rain to The Combermere Arms.
Matt had randomly appeared at work during the day (the new Lee Child book is out) and so he was there too.
Poor Matt felt a little young for once I think (makes a change from me feeling old) since the next youngest person was Jo, and she's only five days younger than me.
But we chatted and gossiped and nattered and talked about porn so it was really the same old kind of work do, rude and fun.

We were in the front room with the jukebox and quiz machine (on the right as you go in, bear in mind this pub was a house and is weeny small indoors) so of course I had to put music on, and Liz very kindly covered for my evil cunning plan by asking to hear the David Hasselhoff song that was on there!

A very good night was had by all really, and I'm glad that although Jo has finished working with us (*sob*) she hasn't actually taken off for the other side of the world yet and so we can go to the pub with her again!

----------------

Random Dad Fact #3

While I was putting bad music on the jukebox, Anthony had a go on the quiz machine. Now he's rather good at these things and only occasionally asks me for an answer.

This time it was a good one.

Anthony - Ohhhh...do you know this one babe?

I look at the machine...

Q: Which instrument was Bix Beiderbecke famous for playing?

1. Trumpet.
2. Saxophone.
3. Double Bass.

In the interests of being a pedantic bitch I would like to point out that none of these is right, he actually played the cornet, but for the purposes of the machine trumpet was the correct answer.

I know this because of watching The Beiderbecke Affair and its sequels far too many times after being introduced to them by Dad.

It's not the only "Jazz Fact" that I know, but it comes close...

Center Parcs

2008-03-25T14:55:00.001Z

IMG_3426
Originally uploaded by EmLah.

Slightly tipsy on red wine and suffering from the giggles. (Anthony is trying very hard to ignore Emily...)

Home Again

2008-03-23T19:38:00.002Z

I am back after a week away, mostly spent at Center Parcs with a couple of days in Essex.

I am over the moon at Michelle's news.

I am also rather pleased about the Grand Prix result this morning.

I am also a sleepy bunny.

That is all.

Time for bed

2008-03-16T06:16:00.002Z

It's nice to hear the British national anthem...but I have to confess that when it comes to the Grand Prix I'd sooner hear the Finnish and Italian ones.

And now, I'm going back to bed. I shall wake Anthony up and put the race video on for him and I shall doze and tell him to "watch this bit, Coulthard swears!".

G'night/G'morning folks.

2008-03-16T06:04:00.004Z

Bollocks.

Kimi is broken. He's parked himself just inside the pit lane.

ITV are praising Lewis for his driving today, we've seen about 30 seconds of him since he's just got out the front and stayed there.

Bourdais is out too...his engine just packed in.

He's gonna get some points though, SEVEN drivers left out of twenty-two.

-------------------

It's all over.

Hamilton
Heidfeld
Rosberg
Alonso
Kovalainen
Barrichello
Nakajima

and that's it...

------

They think Barrichello will be disqualified, which means that Kimi will get a point after all.

(and Emily just answered me, Hello crazy sibling)

*They're saying it's a "marvellous victory" for Lewis, bollocks it is, all he had to do was keep it on the road.

2008-03-16T05:57:00.003Z

We've lost another one. Kubica is out after a shunt with Nakajima, Nakajima needed to change his nose but came back out again.

Looks like almost every driver that finishes is going to get points today, can't remember the last time this happened.

Kimi's Ferrari sounds very very sick...

2008-03-16T05:43:00.002Z

Kimi goes backward into Turn 3. He really doesn't like that corner.

Eleven...no...ten drivers left. As I typed eleven, Timo Glock managed to dismantle his Toyota at Turn Twelve. Hit the kerb, bounced a bit, hit another kerb and shot into the air and smashed his suspension on landing.

Barrichello has just left the pits and tried to take his refueller with him, owch.

Bunch of cars going round in circles, yes. Boring, no!

2008-03-16T05:23:00.004Z

Crap, Kimi in the gravel...

But he keeps it going, avoids the wall and he's back out again. Don't do this to me boy!

(Emily appears to be asleep as she hasn't answered my text, she's so much more sensible than me)

Massa's car is being towed away, and there's a Renault empty and parked...not Alonso, bugger.

2008-03-16T05:19:00.002Z

Coulthard would "like to kick three bells of shit out of the little bastard".

Bet they don't broadcast THAT this afternoon.

That's just one of the reasons I get up this early folks.

2008-03-16T05:13:00.004Z

Massa and Coulthard have just collided... the Ferrari seems to be ok, but Coulthard has lost his left front and right rear, the rear from hitting Massa, the front went as he went sideways into the gravel. That's a rather broken car.

Poor Dave. One British driver left, and he's in the lead.

So we're down to 14 runners if Massa stays in.

2008-03-16T05:04:00.003Z

Kimi has got past Barrichello at last, and promptly sticks in a new fastest lap time.
Come on Kimi!

And Trulli's in the pit lane and is getting out of his car in a bit of a strop.

2008-03-16T04:43:00.003Z

Webber, Button, Davidson, Vettel and Fisichella are the poor buggers whose race is over.

Red Bull are working on Webber's car, but he's got out and given up. Poor sod never has any luck at home.

Now we just need something to happen to Lewis and Kimi to win.

2008-03-16T04:33:00.003Z

First crash of the season...

Massa put himself into the wall. Behind him Fisichella nearly got turned upside-down into the gravel after being picked up on someones nose.

Fisi is being craned off. Massa needs a new nose. Button looks like his back left wheel is about to fall off.

Kimi's moved up to 8th, Piquet to 12th and the safety car is out.

Four cars out...

Good Grief

2008-03-16T04:25:00.004Z

Am I insane?

Why do I put myself through this time and again.

Yes folks, it's the Australian Grand Prix and I'm up to watch it.

That's with the evil zombie flu that I seem to be starting (Anthony's got it too, nosebleeds and all).

Anyways...I'm not the only one...BBC F1 Live

Douze Points

2008-03-15T12:23:00.006Z

Yes I know I know I know.

7. I've finished reading The Margarets which was very good if slightly confusing at times. So of course I have started rereading, starting with The Fresco.

8. My mother's present has hit a brick wall at the moment...

...it's just too big and I have burn-out.

9. So I have started doing one of these Art Deco ones. They are small and therefore quick, and I've decided to do them on card which is a nice change.

The set. (with the cover of The Margarets visible on the right)

Daffodils in progress.

It's very satisfying doing the black outlines and then filling them in.

10. I've read two more S&A's books, We Didn't Mean To Go To Sea and Secret Water

11. I've been really enjoying the Worlds of Fantasy series on BBC4. This weeks one had both Pratchett and WoW in it, and last weeks was talking about LOTR and Gormenghast. I realised I'd never actually read Gormenghast so sent Emily a text...

Kate to Emily - Have you got Gormenghast? Can I borrow it?
E to K - The BBC series or my play?
K to E - The book...
E to K - LOL, yes, will bring next week.

This is because we'd sold our copy at work (which I'd been going to buy) to a guy who was buying it cos he'd seen the Worlds of Fantasy programme and decided to read it...

12. Other nice work coincidences include the fact that a bloke wanted a copy of The Children of Green Knowe on the same day that I'd had a conversation with Anthony about kids names. Apparently Toseland can't be used as a first name...(we were trying to find a first name that will go with Ayrton as a middle name...)

13. The above conversation also included the fact that we have to name one of the boys (in our undecided number of future children) Jack Daniel, "because if we don't do it you know your bloody sister will!".

14. Work has been quiet as Gavin had a few days holiday, also RichieFingers and Chris have both been suffering from evil zombie plague (named by Gavin) which turns its sufferers into the walking dead. The fact it's just been affecting the men is obviously just a Midlands thing as mum has been dealing with the Southern version. I just hope I don't get it for next week - I'm on holiday!

15. I've finally bought the brilliant Michael Rosen's Sad Book. On days when I need a little help this works wonders. It makes me cry my eyes out at the same time as consoling me that feeling like this is allowed.

16. I'm feeling very sorry for poor Kimi, as this (16) is his starting slot for tomorrow mornings GP. I will be getting up to watch it, hopefully with more success than my attempt at watching the qualifying this morning when I slept straight through my (very noisy) alarm. Thanks to the video, I am watching it now though.

17. Every now and again I buy myself the Cross Country Stitching magazine. I have discovered that I love that kind of stuff (although I draw the line at the religious/USA is the best ones). My Welcome Birdhouse cross-stitch is very much in that style.

18. Phew! (I was struggling). I'm on holiday for a week or so now and will be away from the internet for a good chunk of that. It's making me sad as I don't want to miss any news from Michelle <--- the baby's due any day now!!!

There's your 18 things Jen, even though I cheated a little sorry.

If I'm awake enough I shall do some liveblogging during the GP tomorrow morning, nice race start time of 4.30am...

First Six

2008-03-09T10:23:00.005Z

Bless me Reader for I have sinned, it has been 18 days since my last post and yesterday I got thoroughly told off by my colleague Jen for not having posted meaning that every time she checked my blog she had to read about Rich D and his penchant for porn. (Hey Rich, hope you feel better today (he had a dodgy curry on Friday)).

Last night I tried to think of some intelligent things to write that might appease her, but instead gave up and drank cider, stitched and watched French Kiss and Amelie.

This morning I decided that I should try and write down 18 things I have done in those 18 days...

First Six.

1. I've read the first six Swallows and Amazons books. (because despite the fact I intended to start them in Feb, I didn't).

2. I've also read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, Queen of Babble in the Big City by Meg Cabot, and part of The Margarets the new Sheri S. Tepper book which I am enjoying hugely (and which means of course that I will start rereading her other books shortly).

3. The lovely Anthony took me to Argos and we purchased a DVD tower, cheval mirror and a bookcase. The tower is nearly full up, the mirror is slightly scary as I haven't had a full length mirror since the other one fell off the wall, and the bookcase is full.

4. I went to the pub the other Friday (the 29th) for a quick celebratory drink after work (you may have noticed my divorce countdown has vanished...). This "quick drink" with Jo and Liz (and Liz's bloke Steve who turned up later) meant that I got home at 1.30am. Now that's a proper quick drink after work, haven't had one of those for ages!

5. This meant that Alf and Mick didn't come round the following night (as I was mostly asleep) but they did come round on Sunday to go to the computer fair at the racecourse. They went off and I stayed home and waited for them to get back. Waited, and waited, and waited. I not only managed to level up Tanara in that time, but I proved once again that I should not be left alone at home with nails and a hammer.

6. We also had a lovely takeaway curry from Cafe Champagne one night. Although I made a small mistake and didn't order enough naan bread. I had what they call a Fusion, where you get two different curries. When I'd had it in the restaurant it was very nice, I just underestimated the portions slightly when it came to the takeaway...

...I only had 1 & 1/2 naan breads to mop up all that sauce!

(and now Anthony is home after a night out carting so you shall get the next six later...probably).

Lunchtime

2008-02-21T18:28:00.003Z

I'm sitting in the staffroom talking to Gavin and Rich D about various things including Monty Python. Rich gets up and goes to go out for a fag but suddenly turns round and comes back.

Rich - "I've just had this totally random thought. If me and Gav were sex toys, I'd be like this huge dildo and Gav would be this little butt plug."

Gavin and Kate - "..."

Rich - "I think I watched too much porn last night."

------------------

Who says lunchtimes are boring.

Brychan wins...

2008-02-15T23:45:00.001Z

DSC05321
Originally uploaded by EmLah.

Why my boyfriend is a sneaky bastard...

2008-02-14T18:07:00.003Z

As I said before, Anthony is working 5-1 this week. So I was aware that Valentine's Day was going to be a non-starter and then we agreed we'd go out for a really nice meal at the weekend instead.

But I come home today and the hall light is on. This made me think I was going barmy as I couldn't remember turning it on this morning, then I went into the living room.

I've got my champagne marmite (bought by myself on his behalf), flowers (now being nibbled on by Foley), champagne and the new tv is here too, plus a lovely card.

He is a sneaky git sometimes.

The only problem...it means that he knows I've done no washing-up this week and my plan to do it all tomorrow has been foiled.

Hope youu've all had a great day! (I know David has, congrats Dave!)

Valentine
By John Fuller

The things about you I appreciate
May seem indelicate:
I'd like to find you in the shower
And chase the soap for half an hour.
I'd like to have you in my power
And see your eyes dilate.
I'd like to have your back to scour
And other parts to lubricate.
Sometimes I feel it is my fate
To chase you screaming up a tower
Or make you cower
By asking you to differentiate
Nietzsche from Schopenhauer.
I'd like successfully to guess your weight
And win you at a fete.
I'd like to offer you a flower.

I like the hair upon your shoulders,
Falling like water over boulders.
I like the shoulders, too: they are essential.
Your collar-bones have great potential
(I'd like all your particulars in folders
Marked Confidential).

I like your cheeks, I like your nose,
I like the way your lips disclose
The neat arrangement of your teeth
(Half above and half beneath)
In rows.

I like your eyes, I like their fringes.
The way they focus on me gives me twinges.
Your upper arms drive me berserk.
I like the way your elbows work,
On hinges.

I like your wrists, I like your glands,
I like the fingers on your hands.
I'd like to teach them how to count,
And certain things we might exchange,
Something familiar for something strange.
I'd like to give you just the right amount
And get some change.

I like it when you tilt your cheek up.
I like the way you nod and hold a teacup.
I like your legs when you unwind them.
Even in trousers I don't mind them.
I like each softly-moulded kneecap.
I like the little crease behind them.
I'd always know, without recap,
Where to find them.

I like the sculpture of your ears.
I like the way your profile disappears
Whenever you decide to turn and face me.
I'd like to cross two hemispheres
And have you chase me.
I'd like to smuggle you across frontiers
Or sail with you at night into Tangiers.
I'd like you to embrace me.

I'd like to see you ironing your skirt
And cancelling other dates.
I'd like to button up your shirt.
I like the way your chest inflates.
I'd like to soothe you when you're hurt
Or frightened senseless by invertebrates.

I'd like you even if you were malign
And had a yen for sudden homicide.
I'd let you put insecticide
Into my wine.
I'd even like you if you were the Bride of Frankenstein
Or something ghoulish out of Mamoulian's Jekyll and Hyde.
I'd even like you as my Julian
Of Norwich or Cathleen ni Houlihan.
How melodramatic
If you were something muttering in attics
Like Mrs Rochester or a student of Boolean mathematics.

You are the end of self-abuse.
You are the eternal feminine.
I'd like to find a good excuse
To call on you and find you in.
I'd like to put my hand beneath your chin.
And see you grin.
I'd like to taste your Charlotte Russe,
I'd like to feel my lips upon your skin,
I'd like to make you reproduce.

I'd like you in my confidence.
I'd like to be your second look.
I'd like to let you try the French Defence
And mate you with my rook.
I'd like to be your preference
And hence
I'd like to be around when you unhook.
I'd like to be your only audience,
The final name in your appointment book,
Your future tense.

Four Things

2008-02-13T18:42:00.002Z

I had this as an email from both my mother and sister, and now FatBoyFat has tagged me with it to distract me from my woes. (I feel much better today by the way.)

Four jobs I've held:

Telephone Interviewer.
Qualified Sales Advisor at Holland & Barrett.
Christmas Temp at New Look.
Bookseller.

Four movies I've watched over and over again:

French Kiss - love this film.
Serendipity - just fab.
The Care Bears Movie - because Emily was addicted to this film as a small child.
Scream - because one of my housemates at uni hated it, and if I was watching it she wouldn't stay in the living room, thus leaving me in peace!

Four places I've been:

France.
Lloret De Mar.
Bath.
Wiesbaden.

Four places I've lived:

Awali, Bahrain.
Stroud, Gloucestershire.
Istead Rise, Kent.
Canterbury, Kent.

Four TV shows I watch:

CSI.
Numb3rs.
Ashes to Ashes (I loved Life on Mars)
E.R.

Four radio shows I listen to:

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue
The Shipping Forecast.
The Archers.
The Goon Show (on BBC7)

Four things I look forward to:

Summer - with sunshine this year please.
Center Parcs at Easter - especially the massage I'm booking myself!
Getting divorced.
Moving house.

Four favourite foods:

Chocolate.
Spag Bol.
Steak sandwiches in french bread.
Subway Italian BMT (footlong, herb and cheese bread, extra cheese, green pepper, honey mustard sauce)

Four places I'd rather be:

Anywhere warm.
Summer 1996.
In bed with Anthony.
Shattrath City.

Four people I e-mail regularly:

Emily.
Mum.
Angela.
Anthony.

Four people I've tagged:

Caroline.
Michelle.
Keris.
David.

Sunflower Cross-Stitch

2008-02-13T18:38:00.002Z

Sun1302
Originally uploaded by Petronella Rose.

It's coming along!

Ranty Ranty Stress Stress

2008-02-12T18:10:00.000Z

I don't have a coping mechanism at the moment. That might sound strange so let me explain. When I was in my early teens and stressed about school I had a surefire way of releasing all that stress and feeling better, what Wikipedia refers to as "Self Injury". (the motives bit explains it perfectly.) When in the Upper Sixth and at uni, vodka was my cushion between me and the real world. Now however I don't have the ability to do either. Ability is the wrong word really, but I promised myself a very long time ago that the cutting had to be out and it never even crosses my mind when I get stressed (except when I'm thinking about it like this) and the vodka is very much not an option as apart from anything else I don't have the money to drink the way I used to!

But just writing all that has helped.

Today I had one job to do at work. Admittedly a big job, but easily doable in a day even with breaks to serve customers. I didn't get it done, mainly because one of my coworkers kept interrupting me to complain about the fact that they kept getting interrupted and couldn't finish what they were trying to do. So RichieFingers listened to me rant about that which helped, and I shall finish my task tomorrow!

Anthony is working 5-1 this week which is adding to my general grumpiness. I won't be seeing him til Saturday (at about 2am) and I miss him, and not just because he cooks me lovely food...

In other news my kitchen is still looking pretty good after my ex-next-door-neighbour Angela came round last Wednesday and organised me and did my washing-up. She'd popped in on Tues to ask when my day off was and if I wanted to do anything, but on Wed I was more than a little bit meh so she came round and made me feel lots better. Thankyou Angela!

I got to speak to Campbelli today who is still enjoying herself in her new job, and still enjoying the novelty of living with her lovely Jamie, although she is unimpressed with housework...

Gavin has been keeping us all entertained at work with his general Indiana Jonesness, although the cheeky bugger is having a long weekend so isn't hanging out for the whole of our Monday-Friday slog this week.

Other Happy Things
1) Mum's cross stitch is really coming along. (I shall post a picture).
2) I really enjoyed the new Sarah Dessen book The Truth About Forever (even though I wasn't sure how it would affect me) and have reread Just Listen.
3) The new Formula One season guide is out (I'm ignoring Hamilton all over the cover - that's a rant all of its own! Although they have changed it to include a small pic of Kimi, the ACTUAL champion!)
4) Caroline went to Malta!
5) I have been reading David's blog and thinking about philosphical things I haven't thought about in years.
6) The puzzled looks on Liz and Gavin's faces this morning when I said "Last night I got myself a new top and some trousers...and a lovely dagger" - In Warcraft that would be.
7) Anthony has got his hands on seasons 2,3 and 4 of Charmed.
8) I had a £40 Virgin Wine voucher arrive in the post.
9) It's only 17 days until I can get divorced!

Random Dad Fact #2

2008-02-07T19:02:00.000Z

I spoke to my sister today.

The play she is currently working on involves lots of scaffolding. Therefore she has been sensible and bought herself some steel-toe capped boots. (Apparently they are beautiful).

She finally found them in Schuh after trying all sorts of other places.

Random Dad Fact = You need to have a special license to sell steel-toe capped boots/shoes.

Distracted again

2008-02-04T18:35:00.000Z

I'm a bit discombobulated at the moment (oooh, I love that word).

I keep wanting to do things and then either talking myself out of them or just getting distracted. They're not big things, just little bits of stuff usually, but I don't seem to be able to get anywhere doing them.

(Even this blog post, it was all making sense in my head til I started typing...)

This is why I have been flaking I guess. Saturday was a very relaxed day - 7 episodes of E.R. and lots and lots of stitching. Sunday was shopping and WoW. I guess it just feels like I'm doing nothing with my time and that I should be doing more, but when I do I get stressed and snappy and generally am not fit to be out in public.

I've been vaguely thinking (again) about doing an OU course, but agin I don't know which course, I don't want to pick one and then hate it and feel like it was a waste of money, I don't want to sign up and then not do it "because I've got no time" even though I so have.

It's all just a bit meh.

On the bright side:

1) Mum's stitching is really coming along.
2) I've got Anthony hooked on Charmed.
3) I'd forgotten just how much I loved George Clooney as Doug Ross.
4) We're going shopping for a BIG shiny tv in a minute.
5) My 42 games game just arrived so I have something other than Sudoku to do on the DS.
6) I got the new Sarah Dessen proof today.
7) After spending three whole days doing "related product" (cards/notebooks/giftwrap) last week it's all done and I can get back to doing book stuff.
8) I got Tanara up to level 60 and Crimsone up to 40 on WoW. (and bought Crimsone a big red emu bird as a mount)
9) I've discovered a Mornington Crescent game on Facebook!

Cadburys Flake...

2008-01-25T12:48:00.000Z

...or actually not.

I have been flakier this week than the last couple, mainly because I am doing this again. I did it back in the summer and it worked well, but for some reason I never managed to go back onto it after coming back from holiday...

This week has been bloody hard work but as Anthony has kept saying to me "If you can do it this week, you can do it anytime!". I have cheated slightly though, I've been drinking a little milk which is verboten. I've been doing this after nearly fainting a couple of times at work, low blood sugar + running about at work = not good.

I'm feeling good about it today though, even though it's day 5. I have lunch in front of me: lovely deli ham, strong cheddar cheese, pickled onions, celery and pate (the pate goes on the celery). M&S have been helping me out by having an offer on pre-prepared chicken tikka (the sort you can add to salads etc) which has been lovely for work lunch on days I don't fancy smoked salmon. Breakfast is the difficult meal as I have to eat it but always feel sick eating in the morning. Safest solution so far has been a whey protein shake which also makes me feel sick...

I have done some cooking this week, an attempt at Beef Stroganoff on Monday and Spag Bol last night (but no Spag for me).

Otherwise I have been doing much the same things as last week apart from eating Creme Eggs!

Yes I'm boring, go read Caroline's blog instead - she has been doing amazing things!

Assorted Assortments

2008-01-13T13:09:00.000Z

My keyboard feels funny...this is because we just popped all the keys off, hoovered all the cat hair out of it, wiped it down and then stuck all the keys back in again. This means that some of them now feel worse than they did before, of course.

I had several things I wanted to post about this week, and then by the time I got home from work I was too tired to do anything except quickly check my email and other folks blogs and then flake out on the sofa. My sofa flaking was ably assisted by Anthony fetching me drinks, the cats being fuzzy and cuddly and the new series' of CSI and ER starting. Next week is Torchwood too!

We went to see Leyton Orient play at Nottingham Forest yesterday as a late birthday present for me. (we went to visit Anthony's sister too). I wore both my Orient tops (my black top with glitter logo underneath the team strip), tights under my jeans, my lovely scarf from mum and my big Christmas coat...and I was still freezing! But it didn't rain which was appreciated.
The score was 4-0 to Forest. Bugger. But hey, we beat them 4-0 at Forest last season so it's just karma (and we were bottom of the league at the time, they were in the top three). Best chants of the match have to be "one nil to the famous team", "you're not famous anymore" and "you're not famous anyway", attributed to Forest, Orient and Forest fans respectively.
Now I just have to persuade Anthony that going to the Walsall match in a couple of weeks is a good idea...

I spoke to Miss Campbelli the other day and she told me I had to blog so she'd know what I was doing. So just for Campbelli.

This week I have been mostly...

...taking Nytol so that I can go to sleep at a sensible time.
...watching ER on DVD.
...trying to decide how to decorate the drawer unit I got from Ikea. I like this one. (Mine is the version with two big drawers at the bottom).
...finding myself in fiction.
...ooohing over this book at work.
...trying to help Anthony choose whether to buy a lap-top, or a big TV that he can connect a tower to so that we can play WoW together at my house.*
...working on the sunflower cross-stitch.
...thinking about which cross-stitch I might do next!
...eating Creme Eggs.

*The WoW thing may sound more than a little bit geekish, but we like it.

New Years Resolutions

2008-01-03T12:46:00.000Z

I went back to last year to look for my resolutions to see if I'd actually managed to keep any...and I didn't make any! I did a meme thing that Keris had done but that was it.
This confused me.
But I decided to put the Stuff in my sidebar, I thought. I wrote something about stitching too, I thought.

Well I did, but not in Jan 2007...in Jan 2006!

It's this here post that talks about it all. Quite apt really. It mentions the cross-stitch projects as:

Oranges & Lemons design - finished.

Stained Glass Footstool - abandoned, why continue making a present for your exes granny?

Desperate/Domestic Zero/Hero - there's a funny story about these...

(They link to Flickr where it says how long it took to turn #2 into #3)

Yes...well...they ARE quick to stitch, I've just been doing other things!

I don't really have any New Year Resolutions, other than the Stuff in the sidebar which will be continuing. The 2008 goal was kindly supplied by my old neighbour Angela who also took me to Ikea yesterday and helped me buy useful things (including two beautiful plates that I must photograph).

I would like to not be drinking on my 30th birthday (I know, I may have only turned 29 seven days ago, but I will be 30 this year and 31 next year!) for a couple of reasons, I would like to have my divorce go through quick and easy without having to have any contact with the Yeti, I would like to be able to afford to buy a house when I move in June (oooh, a flying pig!). I think this year there are lots of "I'd like" things but not that many "I will" things.

I shall do a little more thinking on it, and probably eat one of those Creme Eggs while I take the Christmas tree down.

Happy New Year Folks.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T20:11:00.000Z

Random Dad Fact #1

2007-12-31T13:35:00.000Z

(This is not going to be a random fact about my dad, but a random fact that I would have phoned him about. I don't think it's fair that they get lost and I still want to share them. Besides, Emily says he knows them already.)

Anthony put on a film called Shooter the other night. I was not really watching it as it's not my kind of film (I don't mind guns in films, but I don't like watching films where you see brain splatter). The only time I paid attention was during the end credits.

That's when I saw the name Levon Helm and got all excited. Levon Helm was the drummer for The Band, who my dad really liked, and I just so happened to have bought a couple of their songs from iTunes in the last couple of weeks.

Not quite like David Crosby being in Hook (and I still like the fact he was one of our favourite pirates even before we knew he was in it), but still a nice random occurrence.

Merry Birthday!

2007-12-27T10:21:00.000Z

I hope you people all had a lovely Christmas?

Despite Anthony kindly passing on his stinky cold to me I have had a very good few days. (I'm still off work, now until the 4th Jan).

Christmas was strange without Dad, but at the same time there wasn't a huge big horrible gap there that was impossible to fill. Even when we were having Christmas dinner and I was sitting in his spot at the table, it didn't feel odd. We did go and see him on Christmas Day, after opening stockings (supplied by mum (and Emily got one from Brychan too)) but before we did tree presents and got comfy. It was pouring with rain, but since other people had had the same idea parking was a bit tight at the site. I did mean to take my camera and get a picture of his stone, but I didn't as the weather was so horrible, I shall get one of it in sunshine which will be more fitting. This picture shows the pond at the site, Dad is on the far side, in fact the little tree on the far bank is where we hung the bird feeders that we'd brought along as his Christmas presents. After we'd hung the feeders the rain started coming down even heavier, so we took that as a polite hint to bugger off and leave him in peace.

Tree presents (although there wasn't actually a tree this year) are always opened while drinking Bucks Fizz, and this bit of tradition was stuck to. Emily had a Jack themed set of presents from me and Anthony - Jack Daniels and Captain Jack that is. Anthony had a selection of car themed gifts plus Band of Brothers from Emily. Me? I'm the happiest girl in the world in my new Leyton Orient shirt, with oodles of Lush stuff and The Sims 2 to play (when I've defragged the pc this afternoon). My lovely neighbour Angela bought me a Cath Kidston stationery pack, thus fulfilling my longings for both Cath stuff and pretty notepaper!

My new board game Bookchase provoked some mixed reactions when we played it as both Emily and Anthony were convinced they would do badly. Who won? Anthony. Who came last? Me. So, proof that book knowledge is not always required to win a board game based around books! (You also have to pick up cards that entitle you to three free books, and then roll a six).

Emily kindly let me open my birthday present from her yesterday, a beautiful green purse by Jimmy Liao that holds EVERYTHING all in one go. I've just been a Googling to try and get you a picture...the range is very new and has no pictures anywhere so I will have to charge the camera up.

I do not know what else I have for my birthday as I am not allowed to open anything until Anthony gets home from work. I will distract myself by defragging and loading up Sims 2!

Bookish

2007-12-18T15:15:00.000Z

I had a very bookish Friday and Saturday. All the worrying about my lost sick note (which arrived at work on Monday morning, as I found out when I took my replacement one in) had got to me and I just didn't want to do ANYTHING.

So I cosied up on the sofa to read, and basically didn't stop until Saturday night. I had myself a fantasy kick to get my mind well away from the here-and-now.

I'd picked up The Song of the Lioness Quartet by Tamora Pierce a few weeks ago and had started to reread it but got distracted by life. This time I read the whole damn thing on Friday afternoon (this edition is the 4 books in one) and then wanted more. So of course I went on and read the Immortals Quartet and the Protector of the Small Quartet that follow on from it. (this Amazon list shows all the books in their lovely lovely covers (same illustrator as the Casson books that customer didn't think much of)).

That took me through to Saturday night (with a couple of breaks for sleeping, eating and asking Anthony just why there was a mantelpiece in my hall*) and has left me with a small dilemma. What can I read next?

Logically I would carry on with the rest of Tamora's books, but there are hitches... I have Trickster's Choice which is the next in the Tortall series, but not Trickster's Queen which has taken three years to come out over here (and despite the picture, the edition we had in at work (the day before I came off sick) does not have the same cover style!), let alone Terrier. Emily does have these, but will possibly not let me borrow them...
The same problem occurs if I try to read the Circle Books (again shown on that Amazon list above) as I don't have the newest one of those either! (Emily does...)

(Yes, I know, I am so very pedantic about reading books all in one fell swoop)

I am now thinking about either reading some Mercedes Lackey or David Eddings, both of whom have written great series's's's, but can't sum up the energy for them quite yet. Instead I have gone off at a tangent and picked up Highland Fling by Katie Fforde instead. Hot toddies, snow, Scotland and a dashingly annoying hero - yum.

*The mantelpiece is there because a friend of Alf's moved house on Saturday and didn't want it anymore. Anthony went to help, I woke up when he went out (and read for a bit) but was asleep when he stopped here before breakfast to drop the mantelpiece off. So I wandered downstairs about 5 minutes before he got home and got rather confused. Apparently it's going in the front room, but not before that interesting shade of green on it has been painted over!

(The spellchecker changed mantlepiece to mantelpiece but I like the first spelling and by now can't tell which it should be!)

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

2007-12-13T13:23:00.001Z

Much like Posy the publication of the Radio Times Christmas issue is something that makes Christmas suddenly happening and actually real (and not the result of me watching too many Christmassy films in June).

I got mine this morning and have just spent a happy half hour or so (might well have been longer) going through it circling all the things I want to see/hear. It's a family tradition, Dad used to give us all different coloured pens to mark our programmes off with, and we weren't allowed to mark anything that we already had on tape - Mary Poppins, Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang etc.

It was quite sad this year, discovering things like Humph in Wonderland and realising I wouldn't be listening to it with Dad. But I am slowly getting used to things like that.

One thing that did actually make me cry was the feature on the adaptation of Ballet Shoes. I was worrying it would spoil it but the pictures are just perfect and after reading the cast list I know that this is going to be a Christmas TV highlight.

I have circled everything that I want to see (including Mary Poppins and Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang) in purple ink, even though I probably won't get to see many of the things. As in so many previous years I shall probably watch the first of the Royal Institution Christmas Lectures and then end up missing the rest...

2007-12-13T02:22:00.000Z

New Look

2007-12-10T12:06:00.000Z

Oh yeah, I got bored and redecorated, Hope you like it.

Variousness

2007-12-10T11:19:00.001Z

The lovely lovely Caroline is once again blogging things I'm thinking about. (She's so wonderful).

My thoughts on this were partly brought on by Facebook after a few very, very old pictures of me were put up on there and I still can't believe that was actually me. Partly cos I wish I'd had a hairdresser that would allow for the fact that I didn't want to spend 3 hours on my hair every morning. (The joys of bleaching it for so long mean that it's the same length now as it was then but so much more under control!)

I also just realised that of all my ex-boyfriends, there are only two that I'm not Facebook friends with (and that would be Jon from uni and the Yeti). I mean, there are a couple more who aren't on there, but Jamie's been dead for 11 years now so I'm letting him off, and the others I can only just remember first names let alone surnames. I think that's quite a good record really.

Not an ex-boyfriend, but a very dear friend from my Canterbury days, is thoroughly excited about the fact that his blog has shot to the top of Google on a search for three little words. I'm not going to put them here in case I topple him, but well done Steve on your success!

Foley chewed through the lights on the tree on Thursday so I have had to take the lights from my bed and put those on the tree instead. There is also now a length of lovely red ribbon draped round the tree after our visit to Hobbycraft yesterday. I keep wanting to make something, but I don't know quite what. I have a few ideas that I'm writing down until I have the money to give them a try. (Which makes it sound expensive, but it'll be about £5!)

The wanting to make something is probably brought on by some of the new blogs I have been reading, they're over in the sidebar under Home Stuff. I love Posie Gets Cozy and SouleMama, both of which I discovered via yarnstorm. I very very much want to make some of these which I first spotted on Posie, and then found all over the place on Flickr. This of course means I'm looking at all sorts of bits of fabric on eBay...

Otherwise I am ticking along nicely. The whole being violently sick thing has calmed down quite a lot, it really only starts up when I start feeling guilty about not being at work - so I am trying not to think about work.

I am also listening to large quantities of Radio Four and getting rather hooked on The Archers!

Temporary Hiatus

2007-12-07T23:27:00.000Z

I went to the doctors on Wednesday. I've been feeling terrible for a few weeks now, nauseous all the time and very rarely hungry, then when I do eat I'm sick fairly soon after. Mostly not sleeping properly, going to sleep ok, then waking up for four/five hours and then falling asleep just in time for my alarm to go off again. Although my general mood has been fairly upbeat, altogether I've been grumpy and short-tempered because of the nausea and tiredness. (and no, I'm not pregnant...)

Anyway, on Wednesday I woke up and was sick, but there was blood in it. This made me panic and actually go to the doctor. Now the blood was apparently nothing to worry about, he thought that was just because I'd been being sick a lot and because it was always quite sudden. (Sorry for the TMI here guys).

But apparently all the being sick and not sleeping are signs of reactive depression. I told him about everything with Dad and my depressive history and that I'd never had symptoms like this before. I know how to cope when I feel blue, but this? no idea.

Basically he's signed me off work for two weeks. He wanted to make it 4, or better still 6 but I just couldn't do that at this time of year (2 weeks off is bad enough). I have to go back and see him on the 21st and if he's not happy, then I don't go back to work for another 2 weeks.

So for the next two weeks I will be about a lot. I will be doing useful household tasks (washing-up, cleaning), going for a walk every day, and working on mum's cross-stitch as well as some tiny little Christmassy ones that I've had free from various magazines.

Just so you know I'm being really productive...

I've added all the proper Armory links to my sidebar too. (I know, I know...)

The End

2007-11-30T23:53:00.000Z

Well, I did it, it's the 30th of November and I've blogged every day for 30 days.

I've learnt from it that my life repeats an awful lot, that most evenings I'm not in the mood to write about anything, and that trying to blog every day and read all the other blogs I want to read is difficult. (I have discovered quite a few new favourite bloggers too!)
I have perfectionist issues about my writing, blog posts have to either be written and rewritten over and over, or written fast and published straight off. As for my whole pretty notebook obsession...

It's all been fun though.

As for today at work...RichieFingers did not need teaching anything about the English language, although he does think that anyone born in the 40's is a pygmy because of rationing.

Advent Calendar

2007-11-29T20:17:00.000Z

Last year I didn't have a chocolate advent calendar, this year I have two!

Anthony bought me one last week (Dairy Milk) and today we both managed to tread on the one that mum sent as the postman and put it safely under the doormat...

It's the BEST advent calendar in the world! A picture of it is here at SheepWorld. (If you zoom you get a nice big picture).

Ohne Dich ist Weihnachten doof = Without you Christmas is stupid.

I need to buy lots and lots of SheepWorld things...

(work today was just as full of stupid, rude people so I am just as grumpy)

Tired

2007-11-28T21:24:00.000Z

I am a very tired bunny after a long day at work featuring various amounts of abuse from various bitchy middle-aged women.

So I am going to bed and may be more intelligent tomorrow...although that won't be hard.

(but I have got Beef Bourguignon for dinner!)

'n' chips

2007-11-27T18:57:00.000Z

Anthony always asks if I want fish 'n' chips even though I always have a sausage and never fish. I think it's one of those things. He usually has a pie so I don't think we've ever actually bought fish 'n' chips.

I am rambling cos I am tired sorry.

I am going to go and curl up on the sofa and do some sewing and also probably read some of the fantastic book that I finally got the proof of (although it was published in September). The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss, if you like proper fantasy, you'll love it.

Tomorrow I am working the late shift (12.30-9) so get to have a lie in, I shall also attempt to go to the library before work.

Day Off

2007-11-26T20:05:00.000Z

I had a nice relaxing day off today. I did a few productive things in the morning, then spent the afternoon playing on Neopets which was fun and earned me 23,846 Neopoints.

I had another culinary success tonight, I know! Two in less than a week!
I adapted my spicy chicken thing that I've made a couple of times.* This time I left the chicken breasts whole and didn't defrost them, just sat them in little dishes of tin foil, splashed them with lime juice, sprinkled the spice mix over the top, wrapped them up and stuck them in the oven.

It worked really well, I thought I might have used a little too much lime juice but the roast potatoes soaked it all up off the plates and it was all scrummy.
I'm not sure if it quite counts as a separate recipe though.

*Just had a look through the archives to discover that I haven't written about it so can't link. Basically it's a mix of garlic powder, onion powder, paprika and cayenne pepper (and sometimes a little thyme) that I sprinkle over/rub into chunks of chicken breast and then fry up. When it's done you add a slosh of lime juice to the pan and throw on some spinach. When that's wilted, it's done! We've had it with noodles, mash, rice and on its own and I really like it. Easy cooking, but PROPER!

One more Sunday before Christmas...

2007-11-25T22:39:00.000Z

...no really, only one more to go. One more at work for me anyway, and it'll be the 23rd...

...I will be a gibbering wreck before then.

To be fair, we didn't have any customers today like yesterdays. Thank God. There would have been blood up the walls.

I was a lot more relaxed today than I thought I would be after yesterday. This was partly due to the romantic film-fest last night (While You Were Sleeping and Practical Magic - I was in a Sandra Bullock mood) and partly due to the fact that when left alone yesterday Anthony went out and spent money. Some of this money was spent on secret Christmas things, but some was spent on a storage unit for the bathroom (so the cardboard box that's been in there since we moved in here in May can go) and some was spent on an electric blanket.

It was soooooooooooooo nice getting into a warm bed last night, it's impossible to describe the amount of tension that eased out of my body when it didn't have to deal with icy bedding. The hot water bottles are now redundant and I shall not have to buy so much Deep Heat (think Withnail).

I have a day off tomorrow and shall spend it doing nice domestic things like arranging things in my bathroom, and emptying the litter trays...

Mum's cross-stitch is coming along.

I've had to shift it all about in the frame as it's too big for it to fit on all in one go. I could have stitched it sideways but figured that would drive me barmy! All of the green bits on the right were done during the films last night.

Saturdayness

2007-11-24T19:38:00.000Z

I love working Saturdays, no really, I do. After all, where else apart from in retail can someone repeatedly call you a liar and you can't do a thing about it.

Not to mention...

the scene - harassed bookshop employee talking to a customer
Customer 1 - I need a copy of The Quest by Wilbur Smith.
HBE - Certainly, I'll just grab one for you.
HBE steps around the customer and manages a grand total of three steps before...
Customer 2 - I'm after a book.
HBE - Ok, I'm just getting a book for this lady but...
C2 - *heavily sarcastic* Sure you are.
HBE - *speechless*
C2 - Why don't you just get me the book I want. It's Foreign Fields by Dan Collins. It's a war book.
HBE - *puts on big bright smile to cover up the fact that she would like to tear C2's throat out with her teeth* That's just upstairs in Military History. When I've finished with the customer that I'm serving I'll be happy to help you find the book.
HBE finds book for C1 and hands it over, then goes upstairs, finds the other book and hands it to C2 who is standing in front of the Computing section and looking puzzled.
HBE then goes back downstairs and into the storeroom behind the counter where she bangs her head on the wall until she feels better.

Then there was the girl who paid by cheque - "Forteen pounds and 73p only".

------------------------------------

Luckily I have an Anthony. I get a lift home, wine and cider bought for me, and pizza delivered.

I am also permitted to watch two soppy films tonight as we watched Mad Max yesterday.

Friday again

2007-11-23T22:16:00.000Z

It doesn't seem like a week since I was running round at work trying to explain the English language (more better? betterest?) to RichieFingers...oh yeah, that's cos I had to do it again today.

He's stripping off (wait for it) the front hardback table (see, not rude) and then started putting the books back on from right to left rather than left to right.

RF - "Oh god. I'm doing this table backwards. What's it called when you can do things equally well with both hands? Ambivilent?"

Kate & Faye - "Erm, ambidextorous."

RF - "What's ambivilent then"

K & F - "Not really bothered"

RF - "No I am, what's it mean?"

*sigh*

I'm at work both days this weekend so you won't get intelligent posts from me. You might get funny ones, it depends on how many daft customers we get in.

Nom Nom Nom Nom

2007-11-22T21:03:00.000Z

Tonight I did some actual proper cooking.

and it tasted flipping gorgeous!

So I can add Toad in the Hole (or Sausage Toad as my mother calls it) to my very short list of things that I can cook.

I am so very proud of myself I am going for a very hot Lush-filled bath! (and Anthony is going to do the washing-up while I'm in it)

Happy Thoughts

2007-11-21T22:09:00.001Z

fatboyfat has posted some Reasons to be Cheerful today. Since I was thinking about writing about the Men's Shed Movement it ties in quite well, also the fact I have had a nice relaxing happy day off is good too.

Ignoring the England football result this evening (and if they had won they wouldn't have deserved it, maybe now we'll get a decent manager and the overpaid little tossers will put some effort in) here are some happy thoughts.

Today it is 100 days until I can start divorce proceedings!

My mother has bought a Nintendo DS...this is more a shocking thought than a happy one but she did offer to get me one for Christmas which is the happy bit (although I am probably going to be sensible and have the coat).

I have finally got fed up with waiting for Emily to post me this first disc of Scrubs Season Four and have booked it on Lovefilm. So the Scrubs obsession will be back shortly.

I managed to complete a very tough quest on WoW today and got thoroughly overexcited about it.

I cleared out two bin bags full of junk!

It might have got very dark in my house at about 14.30 (2.30pm) but I had fairy lights to put on.

When tidying up the living room I found one last solitary Wispa...and saved it for after tea!

Jane Brocket is writing a perfectly delicious book that I can't wait to read.

Payday

2007-11-20T20:27:00.000Z

I both love and hate payday.

I love the fact I've just been paid and the fact I have money to do things with, but I hate the fact that I go into my bank account and pay my bills and then have about £100 left for heating, food and general living.

I don't pay for food, Anthony buys that which is good as it means I can eat!

It does mean that paydays are more depressing than they should be.

But today I went on a shopping spree, the only sad thing was that none of it was stuff for myself.

HMV got a nice chunk of my wages today, and Anthony has most of his Christmas presents, as does my mother. (and I didn't even buy myself one nice Anime DVD...)

One day I will have more than a ninth of my wages left over after paying all my bills (and I don't have any debt I'm paying off either!). One day...

Meme

2007-11-19T19:19:00.000Z

1. Do you like chinese food?
Yup, I like having it as a buffet type meal so I can try lots of different dishes.

2. How big is your bed?
King-size, feels too big for just me, but too small for me, Anthony and the cats.

3. Is your room clean?
Fairly clean, but it has lots of stuff in it.

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
Desktop.

5. Favorite comedian?
Milligoon.

6. Do you smoke?
No.

7. Does anyone like you?
There's a few people out there who think I'm alright.

8. Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
This is a very strange question.

10. Sleep with or without clothes on?
Usually without, depends how cold it is.

11. Who sleeps with you every night?
Nobody *sniff*, silly shift-working boyfriend.

12. Do long distance relationships work?
Sometimes.

13. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Never ever.

14. Pancakes or French Toast?
Normal toast please.

15. Do you like coffee?
Yuck.

16. How do you like your eggs?
Don't eat them very often...um...scrambled I guess.

17. Do you believe in God?
Not the God that seems to be implied by this question.

18. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Emily.

19. Last person on your missed call list?
Campbelli.

20. What was the last text message you received?
Anthony calling me his “sexy Essex Bahrainian goddess”

21. McDonalds or Burger King?
McDonalds, but very rarely.

22. Number of pillows on your bed?
4

23. Last thing you ate?
Sweet Chilli Chicken wrap from Boots.

24. Last thing you bought?
Far too many DVD’s from HMV

25. What are you hearing right now?
Doctor Who on BBC3

26. Pick a lyric
"When I am sad and weary, when all my hope is gone, I walk around my house and think of you with nothing on"

27. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
I have never eaten one and do not intend to.

28. Can you play pool?
Not as well as I think I can.

29. Do you know how to swim?
Yes, although I'm not keen on it due to being so very short-sighted and therefore unable to see without lenses/specs.

30. Favourite ice cream?
Phish Food or Bohemian Raspberry.

31. Do you like maps?
Yes, discovering places is always cool.

32. Tell me a random fact:
I currently love drinking fizzy water with a few drops of lime juice in.

33. Ever had a teacher tell you to stop talking?
Almost certainly.

34. Ever attend a theme party?
Yes

35. Ever do a keg stand?
Nope

36. Craziest place you've slept?
On the floor at a Korn concert.

37. What is your favourite season?
Summer

38. What is the first music video you ever saw?
First one I can remember seeing is 'Sledge Hammer' by Peter Gabriel. I loved the plasticine train.

39. Pick a movie quote:
"There's a little witch in every woman" - Practical Magic.

40. Favourite quote:
"I can tell I've been drinking, I keep forgetting to blink!" - Campbelli.

41. What is your favourite hangout?
Anywhere with good people.

42. Do you have a best friend?
I have a few.

43. How long have you known them?
Between 22 years and 18 months.

44. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
Foley conked out in front of the halogen heater

45. What time did you wake up this morning?
1am, 1.30am, 3am, 3.30am, 4am, 4.30am 6.30am and 7am.

46. Wake up next to anyone?
Anthony, apart from at 7 as he'd gone to work then.

47. Best thing about winter?
Those proper frosty mornings.

48. Name a couple of favourite colors:
Teal, red, white.

49. How old were you when you found out santa wasn't real?
Don't remember.

50. What month is your birthday in?
December.

51. What are you doing this weekend
Working, meh.

Snowy Sunday

2007-11-18T22:17:00.000Z

It's snowing!!! What's more...it's settling!!!

*ahem*

I had a little too much wine last night. Well the wine was fine, it was the couple of bottles of beer I had after the wine that did the damage. We ate the lovely French Moroccan Lamb Tomato thing and played Trivial Pursuit (an edition from 1983). It was girls (me, Angie and Jo) against boys (Anthony, Paul, Joe and Dave). The boys won but since they had an extra player we may have to have a fairer rematch.

We nattered about all sorts of things including Nick Drake, Neil Young and romantic films (like French Kiss, Practical Magic and Love Actually). It was a very good evening. I'm gonna have to practice my cooking so I can have them round here and not poison anybody.

In my fragile state I managed to sleep through Anthony doing all the washing-up, he's a star that man. I also got to watch Order of the Phoenix which was rather good, I liked the way it was condensed in just the right way.

Now it's time for bed, and vast quantities of hot water bottles as this house just won't get warm. The thermostat is set at 21, sometimes it actually reaches 18, thank heavens for the beautiful halogen heater that Foley insists on sleeping in front of.

Another busy day

2007-11-17T19:05:00.000Z

Very quick post in the 5 minutes I have before going out again.

Went to the Flair Festive Fair at the Lighthouse today which was rather good. Had intended on going and then found out that Paul (my ex-neighbour Angela's man) would be having a stall there for his glassware. So Anthony and me went up with Angie and Joe (Paul's son) and bought some nice shiny goodies. I will post pictures when I have time.

Now we're going back round to Angie's for dinner - a "French Moroccan Lamb Tomato kind of a thing"

I intend to drink wine and relax.

Friday!

2007-11-16T18:32:00.000Z

...and I've got the weekend off!

Today contained all of the elements that make a Friday at work so much fun:

A customer complaining that our shop was too cold - after walking past the guys replacing our front window (broken after some drunk attempted to dive through it two weeks ago). We can't work out how she didn't realise that the lack of a window would result in a very cold shop.

RichieFingers rearranging the Humour table and then saying "There, that looks...Kate? is it more better or betterest?"

Looking everywhere for The Girl's Like Spaghetti which we got on Wednesday and nobody can find. Supposedly in Children's Reference (I'm sorry, the "Discover" section - stupid rebranding) but not to be found anywhere, even in Cookery.

Putting millions of stickers onto millions of books, Christmas in retail is SO much stickering, I mean fun.

----------------------

Ok, my brain has frozen up after a cold day at work (even Chris H was cold and that's NEVER happened before) and since my boiler is having hissy fits I'm going to snuggle on the sofa with one hot man and two cute cats.

2007-11-15T22:22:00.000Z

Short Post

2007-11-14T19:55:00.000Z

This will be a very short post as I've just got in from work (did a 10.30-7 shift today) and there's a fabulous new WoW patch which means I HAVE to go on nd check out all the new niceness.

Plus Anthony is cooking...mmmm...

London Town

2007-11-13T18:24:00.000Z

When I was on the phone to mum the other day we were talking about how much holiday I had left and she suggested that if Anthony and I came to stay we could go into London on a couple of day trips. When I mentioned this to Anthony I said it would be quite cool as he's never been to London to visit (only driving with work) and that I "haven't done a real trip to London for ages".

Except...I've never lived in London so really all my trips there have been as a visitor/tourist.

Now I probably used to go into London at least once a month when growing up. We'd visit my grandparents (mothers side) who lived in Leyton (where both my parents are from) every few months, there would be visits to Frank and Teresa (parents friends from Libya) who lived in Battersea and to Ceri (mums old flatmate) and her family in Harrow, and pretty much every school holiday mum would take us in to visit a museum with friends - usually Ceri and her daughter Emily when we'd do swap visits (her to us, me to them).

With all of this I never really felt like a tourist. I've always felt Tube-savvy, checking out my route before hand and knowing alternate routes in case of problems and I always carry a little A-Z with me in case I have to walk somewhere (rather than meandering around shops). I've never really got the hang of the buses, mum never used to take us on them but on the times I went into London with dad (just me and him as a treat for me and break for mum) we would catch them as he always knew exactly which ones went where.
The only time I ever really felt touristy and like a visitor was the time I went in with a boyfriend and he really acted like a tourist, all gawpyness and asking loudly which station we needed for Downing Street or Buckingham Palace. In vain did I point out that it was pretty damn easy to walk from one t'other, we had to go to the tube station mentioned in his guidebook. Never again.

I can remember clearly the three times I went into London with friends from school. (I know, only three)

Carmen, after we got our GCSE results and we walked between Bank and St Pauls rather than get the tube. We wandered round various shops and parks and she managed to get sand in her shoes when we walked across Rotten Row.
Jo, when she met me at Liverpool Street and we went shopping in Covent Garden avoiding all the trendy shops and wandering through the back streets and nattering.
Laura, after our last 'A' Level Biology exam when she went to a very posh hairdressers, we had lunch out and bought perfume in Harrods.

They were all times when I felt grown-up and in control of my own trip into the city, probably why I hated being dictated to by guidebook. My last trip into London was when I saw the lovely Mark, a very nice day of wandering round and spending no money.

Even though I feel a bit like a fraud, I can't wait to "show" Anthony around. Silly but true. I want to go and see all the museums and galleries again, I want to go round the conservatory at the Barbican, I want to wander round the shops with someone who won't act like a tourist and will hopefully feel relatively at home there, even if he does think that Birmingham should be the capital city instead.

Black dog on my shoulder

2007-11-12T17:58:00.000Z

So no chat today. Have a picture of Foley instead.

Insightful post?

2007-11-11T21:08:00.000Z

Not gonna happen today.

I've been quite productive though, bought a nice halogen heater today to stop the house being so bloody cold. It's great. Neither of us are cold and Foley has collapsed in front of it purring like a mad thing. Takes after her mother that one.

Otherwise today started with a long lie-in, then had the blip of going shopping and doing housework before settling down to an afternoon of stitching, WoW and some good TV. Top Gear, as usual, rocked.

My life is deep thought free at the moment, partly due to the fact that I'm still doing things like bursting into tears in Sainsbury's because I saw a Dundee cake. (Which dad had sometimes at Christmas, although the last time was at least 15 years ago...)

Anthony is here all this week and I'll try to get RichieFingers to be more humorous at work - although he's not getting royalties no matter how much he complains.

Variousness

2007-11-10T19:11:00.000Z

My sister has only just noticed that I'm blogging every day.

Apparently my writing is more intelligent than I thought.

Today I ordered in some copies of 84 Charing Cross Road to go on our reviews dumpbin - 15 minutes later someone came in and asked for it.

If you say (in a snarky fashion) to my manager (while he is having a bad day) that you want him to bring our stock of cloth baby books to the counter so that you do not have to walk 20 yards, do not then be surprised when he brings you the whole stand. (and then goes outside for a fag).

When Anthony tells me that I'm not allowed to buy any more Wispas, he should not be shocked at the fact that I come home with a giant tub of Maltesers, ok, a giant tub and another box of Maltesers, and three Chocolate Oranges, although one of those is his. (TMI: it's THAT time of the month).

And I bought him an apple pie!

I also bought a huge snuggly soft red fleece throw from Woollies, this is because the two blanket throws I have already are very thin and this house is very cold. So cold that Anthony is looking at electric blankets!

I have a day off tomorrow, so may attempt a sensible and coherent post. Although probably not.

Meh

2007-11-09T19:34:00.000Z

Having a very bad day today so instead of misery you can have one of my Wiki lists.

1. 84 Charing Cross Road
2. Frank Doel
3. Bookselling
4. Bookstore Tourism
5. Wine Tourism
6. Winemaking
7. Champagne
8. Dreyfus Affair
9. Nazism
10. Jingoism
11. UN-American
12. Hollywood Blacklist
13. Charlie Chaplin
14. Thomas Harper Ince
15. William Randolph Hearst

Very random stuff

2007-11-08T22:12:00.001Z

I have been trying to work out what to post about all day but with very little success. So I shall just do some rambling.

I got to spend today with Anthony which was unexpected and lovely. He was supposed to be on nights (11pm-7am) all week but managed to do 3pm-11pm instead on Tues and Wed which meant he came round last night and I got to spend the day with him. We watched Top Gear from Sunday (for the third time, cos it was so damn good) and then I watched Joe's Palace which was just brilliant as Poliakoff's stuff always is.

I did some work on mum's cross-stitch while I watched all that. It now looks like this:

That was spooky, as I typed "mum's", the phone rang and there she was.

I keep being asked what I want for Christmas and my birthday and I really don't know. My birthday present from mum is sorted, she's paying my initial divorce costs (as agreed with dad back in August) but she wants to know about Christmas. We were just discussing this coat and I also mentioned this clock to her. That's all sort-out-able later anyway.

I do know one of my presents. I will be getting this wonderful jigsaw for Christmas/birthday from Anthony's folks (or possibly from Anthony). I know this because it's been bought already as they were in short supply - in fact when he bought it there were 22 in stock, now there are only 5!

Sunset

2007-11-07T17:48:00.000Z

I may have moved house three times in the five years that I've lived in Wolverhampton, but I haven't moved very far. The second house was four roads up from the first one, and this one is only one road up from it. All the houses have felt very different (certainly this one cos it's all mine and the Yeti has never been here). It feels like I lived in that horrible first house a hundred years ago, so it shocks me every time when I walk to the end of this road and look left and see it. It's also very weird nipping into the local shop, as it's the one practically opposite the first house and walking round there brings back memories that are not always good. (There are about 15 small supermarkets here so it wasn't the closest one to the second house).

Anyway, as usual I digress.

The fact I haven't moved very far means that my walk to and from work has been essentially the same route for five years. When heading home I cross the ring road and walk down Merridale Street which is one long straight road. I pass the posh car sales room, the dodgy pub next to a concrete blocky church, the garage where they've covered all the windows so the police can't see what stolen cars they're working on. Past a playground, the fire station and the old pub that became a funeral home last spring. Then comes the only bit of my route that has changed. For the first house I'd go straight on, for the other two I cut left through the park (ok in summer, a little scary in winter) and catch a whiff of the *interesting* smoke from the group of boys by the basketball court. Then I used to go left again but now I go straight on down the road to reach home.

Having had the same route for such a long time means that often I don't notice most of it. I reach home having immersed myself in my headphones (but never so loud that I can't hear what's happening around me) and having walked it on autopilot.
Tonight the world made me look at it.

As I came to the top of Merridale Street I looked along down it and was amazed by the sunset. The whole sky was dark and cloudy apart from a strip at the end of it that was orange and gold and pink and crimson in lovely hazy stripes. The buildings either side meant that the only bit of the sunset I could see was the bit at the end of the road, with trees (in the cemetery at the end) standing black outlined against it.

I wished and wished that I'd had my camera, although I know I wouldn't have been able to capture it.
I wished that my sister was visiting as I know that she would have been able to photograph it and do it justice.
But most of all I wished that I could have phoned my dad and described it to him, instead I spoke to Anthony and have blogged it in an attempt to keep that glowing band of colour in my minds eye.

Music to my ears

2007-11-06T18:59:00.000Z

Well, not music, books.

You know that I'm a big fan of Audible thanks to Keris who introduced me to the site. Today I found out that they've teamed up with our Waterstone's site to offer downloads through there (or Waterstone's link to them or something). This is quite cool as it will now be much easier for me to recommend the site to customers who want something obscure and out of print.

(The fact that I just got the free Dracula download helps too of course)

So as I wandered home tonight I treated myself to an audiobook I've been saving for ages, and I wasn't disappointed.

84 Charing Cross Road is another one of those books that I spotted on my parents shelves because of its cover. I loved it. I could almost hear the voices in my head when I read it, so I was worried that the audio would spoil this. Nope, it's just perfect.
When I'm not listening to this I have been listening to bits of This Sceptred Isle: Twentieth Century. I am trying to learn a bit more modern history and I figured this would be a good way. So far I have learnt about suffragettes blowing up post boxes, the fact that the Daily Mirror was started as the first newspaper for women and the fact the Government were more worried about civil war in Ireland than war in Europe, plus many other things that have of course gone from my head since I listened to it (I've been asleep since then) but that amazed me at the time.

I love the fact that my twenty minute walk twice a day is an opportunity to learn things as well as get some exercise. (Helps distract me from the cold too!)

Never judge a book by its cover

2007-11-05T20:17:00.000Z

The other day I had a customer ask me for a few children's books that had won prizes.

The first one I thought of was Saffy's Angel (which won the Whitbread Children's Award). I enthused about it to the lady and she had a read of the back and decided to take it (and the first sequel, Indigo's Star). But she did say that she wouldn't have picked it up because the cover was so horrible. "It looks like one of those cheap trashy chick-lit girlie books, you know" - I didn't know. I LOVE all the Casson Family covers. All I could say was "I suppose it is a bit..." and then trail off. I wanted to finish that sentence with "...beautiful" but couldn't.

Then today I was putting some books out and spotted a copy of The Darling Buds of May with a completely hideous cover. If my parents had had these editions there's no way on earth I'd have read them! They have the editions with cartoony covers, like their copy of Animal Farm had - which is why I picked it off the shelf at age 9. 1984 didn't have such a nice cover, but I read that next because I'd enjoyed Animal Farm so much.

Covers can indeed make or break a book. There are certain types of cover that I wouldn't pick up in a million years, and I may possibly be missing some good books because of it. We actually have a display at work that I set up called "Books that make you go mmm..." It's not a display of porn, it's books with beautiful covers.

These are some beautiful books.

Soothing Sunday

2007-11-04T17:06:00.001Z

I did intend to post about my dad's funeral today. It's a month since the funeral and I've written most of what I want to say about it, but it's still not quite right. So that will appear at some point I'm sure.

In the mean time I have been having what Anthony called "a proper Sunday". Since I've worked three out of the last four (and that one I was at Center Parcs) it's actually the first Sunday that we've had together at home since the beginning of September.

Last week I was longing for a Sunday at home, I spent the day at work looking forward to this week and it didn't disappoint.

We had a nice long lie-in and then Anthony went to the shop for the makings of bacon sarnies while I did some washing-up. This afternoon was spent watching V for Vendetta (which I watched on Wed but wanted Anthony to see) and stitching (me), WoWing (him) and generally chilling out.

This evening we are going out to the best curry place in town, the fabulous Cafe Champagne. We are also going to be enjoying the company of the lovely Miss Campbelli and her Jamie. It'll be great to see her, can't believe I haven't seen her for nearly two months!

Anthony will be on nights next week so I shall have lots of PC time and mum's stitching may get sadly neglected.

A very short post...

2007-11-03T20:09:00.000Z

After a day of rushing around getting haircuts and seeing Anthonys folks, and before an evening spent at a friends party, the 15 minute gap in the middle is best filled with food.

Battered sausage and chips for me, the same plus a chicken balti pie for Anthony.

Yum.

Now, off to the party!

Essential Bookselling Traits

2007-11-02T18:55:00.000Z

(inspired partly by a very strange conversation that I had with Faye).

A booksellers job is harder than you think. Not only do you have to sell books to people, you also have to decorate things with bits of cardboard, lift heavy weights, have the kind of brain that can solve complex crossword puzzles when all the clues are missing and also read minds.

You must not react angrily when a customer calls you a liar because the book they want to buy is only in hardback but they've seen it in paperback somewhere else, oh yes they have! Or they read in the paper that the new Anthony Horowitz book is out today and the fact that you only have it in hardback is obviously some kind of a con. I really thought that this particular customer was going to explode with indignation. In the end she just stormed out of the shop - and then came back today and bought it, from me, pretending that she didn't know who I was... "I saw this yesterday but didn't think your colleague could be right when she said it was only in hardback" - MY COLLEAGUE??? That would be the OTHER tall blonde girl we have on the staff, the one that is also me...

As well as the thick skin needed to deal with those people you also need actual thick skin. This is because the biggest enemy of the bookseller is papercuts - on my worst day I had a total of 15, that's including the one just above my right eye where a shelf strip whipped up and caught me. All those nice bright pieces of cardboard that you see, actually covered in blood smears on the back. (but we make a point never to bleed on the actual books).

The genius mind is needed to help out all the people who come in asking for that new book "about tractors", "the blue one that was on tv last night", "those bikers, the hunky ones", "that one about him off the telly, you know, the tall man" (answers at the end). This does often give a sense of achievement as you've been able to work out exactly what these people are talking about.

Heavy lifting comes in not only with lugging piles of books about the shop attempting to make neat piles on tables. The tables and browsers have to get there somehow after all. That 7ft tall dumpbin in the kids section? Dragged up the stairs by me and Faye (she pulled, I pushed) and then dragged into place by Chris as our arms had turned to jelly.

Heavy lifting is also needed when you are carrying one of those big armfuls of books and then a little voice says "Do you work here?" One day I will answer "No, I'm a shoplifter", but until then I will say yes and listen to their enquiry and then find them the book they want, all without putting the armful of books down because if you dare to do this the customer will look at you with disgust and decide that you are being rude.

Rude is something you cannot be when working in a shop. When customers walk past the big obvious pile of the new Ewan McGregor/Jeremy Clarkson/Wilbur Smith/Martina Cole and say "Do you have the new Ewan McGregor/Jeremy Clarkson/Wilbur Smith/Martina Cole book?", and you point and they say "Where?" and you walk over to the big pile of books and get one for them and they don't bother to say thank you and just sigh because it took you all of 10 seconds to walk over to the pile next to the customer and hand it to them, but you took too long....

Yes I have had one of those days...

So, to recap. Hide like a rhino, genius brain, very strong, ability to keep a smile on your face while you're wishing that they'd never been born.

Then you smile and say "Next please. Can I help anyone?"

"about tractors" - A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian.
"the blue one that was on TV last night" - Planet Earth.
"those bikers, the hunky ones" - Hairy Bikers (not Ewan McGregor, lose five points).
"that one about him off the telly, you know, the tall man" - Paul O'Grady.

NaBloPoMo

2007-11-01T18:49:00.000Z

Well I thought I'd give it a shot. After all, there's enough random crap going on in my head to fill a million posts!

(and then Anthony phones and everything that was in my head that I could write about has gone)

I also decided to do this cos there's lots of things that I decide not to blog about as they're just little incidental thoughts that don't seem to connect up, and then a few days later when they do connect, I don't feel like I can write about them without backtracking.
Backtracking is something that I am trying not to do at the moment. I am thinking about past things, but not trying to go back to them. Partly I have been thinking about all the witchy stuff I used to do and the way I used to worship in my own way before it all got swamped under WitchGrove and the moot and other people saying that I wasn't doing things properly. Trying to start again with this is difficult as I do still hear those critical voices. I am getting better at ignoring them though.

So I am definitely rambling now! Going to play Warcraft instead, and tonight I might even cook myself something vaguely nutritious for dinner (my appetite is terrible at the moment, almost as bad as my short term memory) Now what was I going to do again?...

Eeeep!

2007-10-30T19:14:00.000Z

It's all Michelle's fault!

Cold and Grumpy

2007-10-26T19:32:00.000+01:00

That about sums me up at the moment. I'm having one of those times where I can't really get warm, then if I do I'm TOO warm. meh.

I also have a stinky cold.

I opted out of the world last night and curled up on the sofa to read my new book The Mitfords - Letters Between Six Sisters which I bought with my dad's birthday voucher that he never got to spend. (I figured I'd better buy something vaguely "serious" with it). It's brilliant and absorbed my attention all evening. Poor Anthony had no option but to spend the evening going through dungeons on WoW.

If it hadn't been for last night I don't know how I would have coped with today. Vast quantities of stupid questions from customers, an overly concerned colleague who can't seem to stop saying "how are you/your mum/your sister/Anthony/the cats?" and then today told me she'd been thinking of things to do for my divorce party. I know she means well but what!!! *deep breathing*

I did have a rather nice moment when I discovered something on our work discussion boards. Ages ago I had a problem with Lynx needing Irish postcodes (you just put EIRE in the box instead) and a nice chap called myincubliss_in_canterbury helped me out. Then when someone else had the same problem I answered them. I got thanked and told them to send their thanks to myincubliss as he was the true hero. Today I was on there looking for something and happened to click on myincubliss's profile - where in the quotes section is my comment thanking them! That instantly made my day!

In other news that is not very interesting but about as interesting as it gets, I went to the library last night and got myself some books to read including the new Phil Rickman book The Fabric of Sin. I like these books, they always turn up at the right moments. I read the first few quite a long while ago (in fact, I borrowed them from Mab which puts it about 2004) and then have found the new ones as and when. I haven't read the previous one but will pick that up tomorrow, in the meantime this one wants reading now. It's a bit ghosty which means I shall not have to read too much in bed as Anthony is back in Brum tonight. It also meant that when I was in the bathroom and reading it (long having finished what I'd gone in there to do) and the mirror fell off the wall - I jumped very slightly. I didn't squeak though!

I am going to my warm sofa (with hot water bottle, blankets and cats) to eat some Wispas and read some more.

Hmmmm

2007-10-17T22:39:00.001+01:00

Bagpuss Feet
Originally uploaded by Petronella Rose.

Being so sleepy all the time has been worrying me slightly, but I have found out the reason why...

I'm slowly turning into Bagpuss.

Homework

2007-10-16T15:50:00.000+01:00

I have been having a day off today. A planned one because I worked Sunday rather than a phoning work at 8.45am to tell them I can't face getting out of bed day off(haven't hit that barrier yet but aware it may happen at any moment). I had a nice lie-in until 10ish because Anthony stayed at his house last night so I didn't get woken up at 6am. Since my sleeping is erratic at the moment any chance to get more is good.

Any hoo, I had to do a bit of tidying and sorting out today as Emily and Brychan will be staying the night here on Thursday before we head to Center Parcs for mum's birthday weekend. I didn't want Emily to walk in and announce that certain things hadn't actually be tidied up since she was here for Harry Potter (the boxes full of stuff in her bedroom for example) so thought I would attempt to add to the housework I did last week with some organising of clothes etc.

I didn't actually feel like it when I got up so I spent five minutes on the sofa with my new inspirational book.

*********

The Gentle Art of Domesticity by Jane Brocket.
yarnstorm
*********

It's about domesticity rather than domestication - the difference being that the former is about homemaking and the latter housework.

Now I'm definitely far from being the best at housework, I still don't own an iron, hate washing-up (mainly because sinks are always too low for me so my back hurts!), hoover when I feel like it and only dust because my feather dusters are too beautiful not to use them.
But domesticity I like. When I cook things I tend to enjoy it (but hate the washing-up bit so much it puts me off),I like making things for my home, I like choosing things to put in it, I like having things in my house that say that it's mine. Things that say "Kate".

Anyway, after a flick through looking at gorgeous pictures of quilts and fairy buns I got myself up and blitzed the bedroom - putting all the clean washing away and sorting out all the dirty stuff. I'm quite good at remembering to do washing, but not very good at putting it away once it's dried. The spare bed is usually its resting place but since Emily needs it all clothes have been banished to the wardrobe instead.

Once I'd done that and had a general tidy round I read a bit more book.

This meant that I then went and found the hammer and put up my fairy lights in the living room as I've been meaning to do since we moved in. I love fairy lights. I have them round my bedstead already but had been dissuaded from putting the ones up in the living room by a certain man who shall remain anonymous. But hey, it's not that long til Christmas now (and I'm sticking to that excuse).

I then had a wander round the house with my camera and took some pictures of bits of my house that are me. Some of it is just little things like my new oven gloves and watering can. Other things have come together as a collection that will change as needed but will still reflect me. It very much made me think of this post by Keris

So yes, today has been a day where I have made a discovery that I may not enjoy housework, but I do enjoy homework.

2007-10-13T06:40:00.001+01:00

Gosh I was a bit miserable last night wasn't I?

That was a bad day, today is going to be a good one.

On good days I am grateful that I got to spend so much time with my dad when I was younger and that I haven't (that WE haven't) then had to watch him change so much through illness that the old dad vanished.

After writing last nights post I spoke to mum and Emily. Mum told me to "stop wallowing. Imagine how bad it is for me!" - In vain did I protest that I wasn't, just having a bad day and that I was was worrying about her. I got told off for buying a book on grief "it'll tell you what to feel" and told off for associating James Taylor with dad "He didn't like his music, I do!". Ah well, my mother is coping in her own way as Emily kept telling me.

Emily has told me off for worrying about her so I shall try to stop (I said TRY) and instead follow her advice: "Worry about yourself, ignore mum she's never really understood you, do what you need to do to get through this."

I love my sister.

So today I am up early (ugh) for the early shift at work which means I get to finish early and spend more time with my man. We will watch the last episode of Scrubs Season Three (Turk and Carla's Wedding) and eat something that might be slightly nutritious.

Life is ok, not great, not terrible, just carrying on with a bit of a gap in it but not one that stops the whole damn thing forever.

2007-10-12T18:11:00.000+01:00

Everything is broken at the moment.

My memory is shot, I have to keep making lists of things I need to do but then I keep losing the lists. It took me five minutes to get a yogurt for breakfast this morning - I got it from the fridge and went into the living room, then back for a spoon, then back again because I'd taken the yogurt back into the kitchen with me and then forgotten to pick it up again.

I can't listen to music, most of my music is stuff my dad listened to or stuff that sounds like it - so most of it makes me cry. I was doing fine at work listening to Sting but when the CD changed to James Taylor I had to go hide in Goods In so my sobs wouldn't scare the customers.

I forget for about five minutes at a time maybe, then I remember that the world has completely changed and the bottom drops out of my stomach. I see a book or hear someone say something and think "I must remember to..." and then stop and try to breathe through a throat that's just closed up.

I've been trying to write on here since Saturday night when we got back but every time I've tried nothing has come out. I keep thinking of blog posts in the middle of the night but I'm aware if I get up to write it then it will be gone and I can't get the words down on paper fast enough to get it all out before it goes again. I keep thinking that I have to get my thoughts about his funeral down on here because it was so long ago now, and then I remember it was only last Thursday.

I can't begin to think how this is for mum and Emily, mum being in an empty house and Emily being so young and already "half an orphan". I start to feel bad because it's got to be much worse for them and then feeling guilty for the way I feel and then Anthony will tell me that I am allowed to feel like this.

(and now I feel guilty cos I just opened the door to the milkman and had to explain why I was crying and why I've been away so much and he was just so lovely)

When I had the miscarriages and when Andy left I felt terrible, the worst I'd ever felt, but I knew everything would be ok in the end because my dad said it would be. But now he's not there to tell me everything will be ok and I can't believe anyone else.

I know this will pass, I know that one day I will not automatically think of phoning him when Orient aren't unlucky or when Alonso crashes through a fit of pique. I know this MUST be true - I just wish it didn't have to be.

I'm so glad they came to visit in August, that we went out for dinner and talked about old holidays and silly family jokes, and that when mum said something hurtful to me dad just rolled his eyes at her and made me feel better. That although I wasn't there when he died my last memories are of him smiling and joking and being absolutely himself.

He was the person that knew me best. We are so very alike. He made me who I am. At least I don't have to be scared of losing him anymore, since I've already lost him.

Now my terror takes the form of the next phone call being bad news about Emily or Anthony or mum. I'm not sleeping at night because I'm not tired, but I'm yawning all day. I'm either starving hungry or feeling sick so eating is a gamble, by the time I've cooked something I feel sick again.

Everything is broken and I don't even know how to start fixing it.

2007-10-09T11:51:00.001+01:00

Foley is a comedy connoisseur

Homeness.

2007-10-02T22:44:00.000+01:00

Home is strange. It's mainly strange cos dad isn't here, although it still only feels like he's just in the garden or in another room. He's just popped out for a second, not died and gone forever. The other reason it's strange here is that this is the longest time I've spent in this house in five years, which means it's the longest time in five years that I've spent with my mother.

I love my mother, in a way I'm glad it was dad and not her (partly cos if it had been her I'd be working out a way to move back here for good to keep an eye on dad) but it doesn't change the fact that we get on better 150 miles apart. So far I think she's made me cry at least twice each day - and that's not cry about dad (although I'm closer to crying because of it) but cry cos she's said or done something. At the moment I am either perfect, or doing everything wrong - usually both at the same time.

The thing that is stupidly hard, is trying to get computer access. Now I knew I wasn't going to get hours of it, but getting five minutes is a fight. I'm also not allowed to blog or go on Facebook - and the blogging thing also includes reading my blog to look for comments, not just the actual blogging thing! Tonight she made me promise not to even look at my blog but she said I could look at my Facebook page (I think she hasn't realised you have to log on for that). So this blog is coming to you via Anthony, I've emailed this to him and he will cut 'n' paste it for me. Being unable to blog is a lot more restrictive than I thought. I can never handwrite fast enough to get my thoughts down while I can type fast enough. So all sorts of "deep and meaningfuls" have been lost to the ether and my poor silly brain.

We are busy doing things to get everything ready for Thursday but I still have lots of downtime when mum has to go make phonecalls or write emails. Thiis is currently mostly filled by sitting on the sofa working on her birthday cross-stitch (which is coming along wonderfully and she loves the fact that dad knew about it and kinda helped pick it) and watching the first season of Scrubs. I haven't seen much of it before. Partly cos it was always Emily's thing, but also cos it was something I wanted to see from the beginning and in order (like CSI). Darling Emily started educating me on Saturday by putting on her Season One DVDs and today I watched 11 episodes. Not all in one go, but three or four at a time. It's weird watching something that's only 30 mins an episode, can't get used to it. But I am enjoying it very much and hope that Season Two is round here somewhere so that I can carry straight on with it. I am enjoying finding out where some of her jokes come from, I watched the "Banana Hammock" episode earlier and burst out laughing.

Yeah, so apart from the lack of bloggage (and being able to read other peopels), life here is actually good. Yes I still have bad moments where I cry about dad, but the shock hasn't worn off yet so I still get to float around in a peaceful cloud. (Just give it a few more weeks...) Talking of peaceful clouds, I'm going to go have a hot chocolate with marshmallows on top and explain to mum that I haven't been blogging but emailing, and leave Internet Explorer open so she can check up on me...